Lily was staring up at her, her mouth pulled down in a small frown and her forehead furrowed in concern.
Victoria smiled down at her. “I am perfectly fine, Miss Lily.”
The child did not appear convinced. “You keep staring at the air, Miss Clifford. Mama does that when she is thinking hard about something. Are you thinking hard about something?”
Not about to tell the child that her uncle was the cause of Victoria’s distraction, she merely shook her head and replied, “Oh, nothing in particular, sweet girl. I am sorry. I should be paying attention to you.”
The girl stared at Victoria a moment more as if deciding whether she believed her or not. At length, she gave Victoria a wide smile and nodded.
“Watch me, Miss Clifford!” she giggled as she turned to run down the path ahead of them. They were out in the garden, enjoying the warmth and sunshine of the day. Lily was rather obsessed with running as fast as she could and showing off her speed. Victoria indulged her, watching as the little girl shot ahead and then turned to rush back at her.
“Oh, very good!” Victoria declared, clapping her hands together. The little girl beamed and took off once more. Victoria followed after her at a leisurely pace, always making sure her charge was in her sight. As Lily ran around the garden, Victoria’s mind began to wander again, but she resisted the pull.
However, when the manor became visible, she froze. Lord Harford was walking across the terrace toward the house, and he glanced her way. Their eyes met. Her cheeks flushed, and he paused, his gaze briefly widening. The next moment, though, he turned and hurried into the manor and out of sight. Victoria stared after him, a strange mix of emotions swirling through her. She was rather relieved that he was avoiding her but confused by it at the same time.
It was clear he was avoiding her. Every time she had encountered him since their kiss, while she merely blushed furiously, he merely turned and walked away, pretending as though he had not seen her. Victoria told herself it was good – for the best, really. The last thing she needed was to complicate things for herself by becoming somehow involved with her employer’s brother.
Still, she could not help but wonder if her kiss was so abhorrent that he would not even wish to be in the same room as her. She had not known what she was doing, true, but she had not thought it bad. If she were being entirely honest, she had rather enjoyed it at the moment.
Letting out a little gasp of shock, she quickly pushed that thought away. It was highly inappropriate of her to think like that. Truthfully, she should just forget about the entire incident. She had more than enough to keep her busy with Lily and her duties caring for the girl. She just needed to focus on that.
Besides, it was clear Lord Harford was doing his best to stay away from the house throughout the day, no doubt to avoid her. Distance between them was good, ultimately. If there was distance, then things could remain proper and civil.
Victoria turned her attention back to Lily, who was now dancing along the path, twirling and jumping, and determined that she would forget all about Lord Harford and the kiss they had shared. Just as he avoided her, she would avoid him. There was no need for her to worry.
***
“I am thinking of going out to the country estate for a time,” Lord Harford announced later that night at dinner.
Victoria glanced up from her plate to look at him. She had been avoiding doing so for most of the night…had actually been surprised when he had joined her and Mrs Radcliffe for the meal. She had assumed he would eat elsewhere, as he had done the last few nights.
When she had walked into the dining room and spotted him, her whole face had instantly flushed so badly she was certain he had to have noticed. Thankfully, if he did, he did not say a word about it. Victoria had been content to sit back and let Lord Harford and Mrs Radcliffe talk throughout dinner.
At Lord Harford’s announcement that he wanted to go to the country, Mrs Radcliffe’s face lit up with a bright smile.
“Oh! That is an excellent idea,” she declared. “We shall go with you.”
Lord Harford blinked, clearly stunned. “What do you mean?”
Mrs Radcliffe explained, “Mother and father are in the country right now, yes? Father left to join her just the other day. It would be good for Lily to spend some time with them and to see the countryside. She will love having so much more space to play!”
Victoria’s heart started racing, and she did not know what to say…if she had any right to say anything. She did not. She knew that. If her employers decided to go out to the country, she would have no choice but to go with them, and she had no say in the matter. Pressing her lips together, she sank back into her seat to watch as Lord Harford and Mrs Radcliffe discussed it.
“Are you certain you want to go to the country?” Lord Harford asked. “Do you not think Lily will grow bored out there?”
Mrs Radcliffe shook her head. “Why would she be bored in the country?”
Lord Harford looked momentarily lost for words, and Victoria got the sense he was scrambling to come up with some excuse to convince his sister not to go. Was it because it did not want Victoria to go? That was the most logical explanation, and she felt a pang of guilt deep in her belly.
The next moment, though, she pushed it away. She had no reason to feel guilty.Hewas the one who had initiated the kiss, not her. If he was so uncomfortable in her presence, he had no one to blame but himself.
At length, he finally said, “Well, you know…there is so little going on in the country right now. Everyone is in London for the Season, and…”
Mrs Radcliffe furrowed her brow and replied, “Why would that matter to Lily? She is a child. She cannot participate in the Season anyway.”
Reaching out a hand, she patted her brother’s arm and continued, “I know, Lily, and I have intruded upon your peace and quiet, and you are likely eager to escape us, but I promise we will not be a bother. Besides, the country estate is large enough that we should not impose on you overly much. Just think of how much Lily will enjoy it.”
Victoria subtly watched Lord Harford’s face as he gazed at his sister, and she could read the conflict in his eyes. She tried not to take offence to just how badly he appeared to want to get away from her but kept her lips pressed tight together as he continued to think over whatever options he had in mind.
