Chris was nearly struck dumb by her blunt question. He squared his shoulders and prepared to tell her something he was sure would surprise her. “Although my father is a baron who owns land in Northumberland, he, his brothers, and my mother’s family are abolitionists who never stop working for social justice. My father has served in the House of Lords for many years and pushed hard for the ban on slavery on the high seas that Parliament passed in 1807.”
“Is that why you serve with the Africa Squadron?”
“No,” he said emphatically, and her eyes widened at his honesty.
“Why…?” She stopped, uncertainty in her voice. The change in expression on her face nearly killed him, but he resolved to tell her everything and not hold anything back. She deserved the truth.
“I’ve served in the Royal Navy since I was a boy of thirteen. I first saw action at Trafalgar where I lost this.” He pointed to his empty sleeve. “Cannon ball took it clean off. All the surgeon had to do was cauterize the stump with a hot iron.”
“But you were just a boy…” She shuddered and tears welled in her eyes.
He carefully averted his gaze from her face and kept going. “I was an officer in the King’s Navy, a midshipman. I was doing my duty. Since peace was brokered after 1815, there’s been little opportunity for advancement for naval officers. With England no longer at war, many officers have been retired on half-pay.”
“But what does that have to do with the Africa Squadron?” Her eyes were dry now.
“I came to Africa because of the opportunity for advancement, and now I’m a captain with my own ship. I’d be lying if I told you the prize ships and slave bounties are not important, because they are. Once I’m paid off from the Navy, those prizes will be all I have to live on.”
Her kissable mouth was clamped shut in a tight line. She took no pains to hide her horror at his words. He took her hand in his and pulled her over to a mossy rock. He took off his jacket and laid it over the rock so she wouldn’t soil her blue muslin dress of which he’d become so fond.
After they’d settled in next to each other, he stared off down the river toward the harbor for a long moment. When he turned back toward Rachel, her eyes were shuttered. Tenneh and the boys were still holding back, giving them privacy, so he continued his long answer to her blunt question.
“Rachel, please look at me. What I’m going to tell you now is straight from my heart. It is what I feel, what I believe, what I live with every day of the life I’ve chosen on the Africa Squadron.”
She opened her eyes wide, the expression on her face expectant.
“The first slave ship I took, my life changed forever. I’ve never seen that kind of human suffering, even on the decks of fighting ships where so much blood flows during battle, they sometimes have to lay down sand so that sailors can continue to fight and not slip.”
There was a flicker of something behind her eyes, but she didn’t flinch at his crude description. At his imploring look, she nodded her head in assent for him to continue.
“No one realizes what happens after we take a slave ship. The stench of suffering and death is everywhere, but once they’re safely above deck, you learn they’re individual human beings. They laugh they love, they grieve for friends and family they’ve lost, the loss of homelands they’ll never be able to see again. And, yes, my men and I struggle to communicate with them, but we have our ways.”
Interest flared in her eyes. “How? How do you do that?”
“You know…are you hungry?” He pointed to his mouth.
She laughed suddenly, unexpectedly. Her laugh was warm, like a summer day back in Northumberland, and full of promise, like the feel of his young nephew, Thomas, gripping Chris’s thumb.
“And then we bring them to you.”
“So, Captain Christopher Halloren, does this mean you’ve become an abolitionist as well?”
“Well, maybe not as rabid as my mother and father.” He paused a long few seconds and gave her a shaky smile. “But, yes, I look at what I do in a different light now.”
She placed her hand over his. “That is enough for now, Christopher. Enough for now.”
Rachel looked aroundand craved some time to herself to get used to her new feelings. But she was surrounded by her mission students, not to mention her well-meaning father. Tenneh, Mingo, and Eli stood far enough away so they could pretend not to hear their conversation.
Christopher had upended her whole idea of who he was. He’d obviously had a privileged upbringing, but that was not who he was now. People could change. Wasn’t that the whole point of their English and reading classes, her father’s Bible classes?
She gave a guilty start when he leaned close and spoke. “It’s your turn, Rachel. Tell me something about yourself. Tell me what you wanted when you were a little girl. Tell me what it was like growing up in your father’s melting pot of a mission.”
Of course, he’d expect her to reveal a little of herself. She had to be careful, though, to make sure she didn’t slip and reveal too much.
“There is not much to tell.” She pulled her long hair to the side over her shoulder to cool off the back of her neck. When the tortoise clasp she’d used to secure her curls that morning loosened and fell, Christopher lunged and snatched the clasp mid-air before it hit the ground.
“How did you do that?” She took the clasp from him and pulled her hair together to fasten the clasp anew just above her shoulder. She noticed the heat in his eyes and realized belatedly tending to her hair caused her breasts to strain against her thin bodice. If she wanted to keep their relationship platonic, she would have to be more careful in the future.
“I’m sorry, Rachel, but my attention is fully on you.” He spread his hands open. “I’m a sailor. I have to have quick reactions at sea. Otherwise, most of what I own, as well as my own person, might end up overboard.”
