MASON: Also do you actually read the books?
ELLISON: Sometimes
ELLISON: but also it’s just an excuse to get together with themed drinks and snacks
MASON: How come I didn’t get an invite? I like snacks
ELLISON: You guys get the bonfire—we get book club
MASON: I’m coming next time
ELLISON: We’re getting off track. Focus.
MASON: Yeah, yeah. Break the news to Montana that he’s getting two dairy cows, two rescued dairy cows. Anything else?
ELLISON: You’re gonna have to get them.
MASON: What? I have to transport your dairy cows now?
ELLISON: Come on, it’ll be fun.
MASON: There are zero things that are fun about this.
ELLISON: (cow emoji) (heart emoji)(truck emoji)
Dammit.
“I’d say‘to what do I owe this pleasure’ but I can already tell I’m not gonna like it,” Montana says as he leans back against the fence, his boot resting on the bottom rung. I’d thought about pushing this conversation off but decided it’d be best to just rip the Band-Aid off and hope for the best.
“Oh now, don’t be like that. I got you something you’re gonna love.”
“No.”
“You don’t even know what it is yet.”
“Don’t have to,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“So, I saw there was this dairy farm…” I say, trailing off as I try to gauge his reaction.
“For fuck’s sake,” he mutters as he takes his baseball hat off and runs his hand through his hair before replacing it.
“You’ll never guess what I bought you.”
“Let me guess. Cows,” he deadpans. “You shouldn’t have.” I grin and his scowl deepens. “Seriously, you shouldn’t have.”
“Don’t you want to know the best part?”
“Not really.”
“They were a package deal.”
“Of course they were.”
“Glenda and Clover. And guess what?”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“Clover is blind and Glenda is like her seeing eye cow, and I need to borrow a trailer to go get them. But isn’t this great? They get to live out their lives at château de Greene. You’re basically a hero.”
