A wave of rage surged through her. ‘What do you want me to say? That I was forced to leave my home tonight because my father is a heartless man? That my sister tried to hide her tears when I left her all alone? Or that I’m going to marry the man who broke my heart?’
His jaw clenched, and it hurt him to see her in so much pain. Abhay wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him, not allowing even a breath of distance between them. ‘Yes. Tell me where it hurts, and how I can make it all better.’
Her pulse spiked at his commanding tone. Her heart kicked harder as if she were running a marathon. She shoved against his chest, lost in the haze of panic. ‘No! I won’t let you fool me again. If you think that you can take advantage of this situation and worm your way back into my life, then you’re badly mistaken.’
He didn’t take the bait, choosing to stay silent. The only response she got was his ragged breath fanning her as he leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
Instead of calming her nerves, the gesture acted like fuel to the fire. She could feel pressure building behind her eyes as her vision blurred and grey shadows overtook her sight. The room seemed to shrink around them, choking her on the sharp edges of her anger.
Siya made a raw sound full of agony and her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe. She strained against his hold, hitting his chest with her fists, desperate to put some distance between them, but couldn’t even shift him an inch. It was like trying to move a wall.
Fury burned away any last shred of sanity she had and she shoved against his shoulders. But when he wouldn’t let go, she struck the side of her fist squarely onto his chest with all her might. Abhay choked on his breath, but his grip didn’t loosen a fraction.
She punched at his chest with her fists over and over again, too far gone in the spiral of panic. She was hurting so bad that her chest had become too constricted for air and she could feel a vein throbbing on her temple.
Her fingers dug into his shirt as she pulled at the fabric until the seams strained. Her nails caught on the edge of his collar, scratching across his neck. He flinched but held onto her, as if he could piece together broken parts of her heart by sheer force of will.
‘I told you to leave me alone. I don’t want you here. You can’t fix me!’
When she tried to wrench away, he tightened his arm around her waist, and pulled her close enough that she could feel his heart beat against her. ‘Siya, I’m not trying to fix you. I’m just holding you when you’re hurting.’
‘You don’t get to do that! I don’t want you to see me like this. Let me go!’ she yelled, her voice breaking on the last word.
‘Every version of you is mine, jaan. I choose to stay when you’re happy, when you’re sad, and when you’re anxious. You don’t get to decide you’re too much for me.’ Abhay declared, leaning back enough that she had to meet his eyes.
She saw the spark of fire burning in his dark gaze, and the impact of it left cracks in her shield. She hated how his words slipped past her anger and lodged themselves into the tiny corners of her heart. She hated that the heat of his body felt like a warm blanket around her. But above all, she hated how she couldn’t stop herself from leaning into him.
Siya tried to push him away again, but her arms had lost their strength. The sudden surge of anxiety had drained away the adrenaline rush. Abhay gently tipped her head forward untilit rested against his shoulder. His arms circled around her as he tucked her closer and cradled the back of her head.
‘That’s it, my jaan. Just breathe. I’ve got you. You’re safe in my arms,’ he murmured softly against her hair. Siya could hear the hint of plea and concern in his voice, and for the first time all day, the noose around her chest eased by a fraction.
Her trembling fingers held on to his shirt, as he counted with her to get her breathing under control. The tightness in her gut eased a little, just enough so she could swallow.
‘That’s my girl. You’re not alone. I’m right here. Just focus on me.’ He covered her hand with his, holding it against his erratic heart. The pace of his heartbeat further grounded her, becoming a steady rhythm she desperately held onto.
‘Again. Breathe in… hold… now breathe out. Just like that.’
She could smell the faint scent of soap mixed with his woodsy cologne, and it calmed her frayed nerves. The ringing in her ears dulled and she took in a long, deep breath.
Abhay pushed one arm under her knees, and with another, gripped her waist as he stood up in a fluid movement and picked her up into his arms. He tucked her head in the nook of his shoulder as he began climbing up the stairs. The muted carpet softened the echoes of his steps.
Siya couldn’t resist from looping her arms around his neck. She tilted her head to look up at him and a thin red line on his throat caught her attention. She felt the slick warmth of blood where her sharp nail had scratched him.
Guilt flared through her, and quickly turned into concern as she gently dapped on it with the edge of her sleeve. ‘I’m sorry.I don’t know what came over me, but I lost all control. And… I hurt you.’
‘You had an anxiety attack, which is not a surprise given the current situation. So there’s no need for an apology.’ He winked at her and twisted the door to her room open. ‘Besides, I can take a scratch.’
Abhay gently laid her down onto the bed, and the mattress sank beneath her. He grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand and pressed it into her hands. She drank it in small sips as he drew the blanket over her and tucked it beneath her shoulders.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes searching for any signs of relapse. He was worried for nothing, because to Siya, it felt like her bones had melted out of her body. This was among the worst of crashes she’d ever experienced.
His usual air of a composed businessman had vanished tonight, and Siya could see worry and fear etched onto his face. He played with a stray lock of her hair before tucking it behind her ear. ‘You scared me back there, Siya.’
‘It’s nothing I haven’t handled before. I’m stronger than I look,’ she tried to assure him but the flash of rage across his face told her she’d done a miserable job.
Worry was etched into his expression, but fatigue was pulling Siya under and she could no longer focus. It felt like her body was shutting down, and all she could do was let it drown her. Her eyes fluttered shut.
She felt his thumb trailing lightly along the curve of her neck, and even in exhaustion, a sliver of heat flared in her core. The last thing she heard was his whispered promise. ‘You’renot alone anymore. I’m always right by your side to fight every battle.’
