Michaela studied her hands. “I saw Hunter.”
“Yes, at the funeral. I did, too. I was worried because he looks a little unwell and like he’s lost some weight.”
Unwell didn’t begin to define what he’d gone through.
“I also noticed that he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. It’s very apparent that he still loves you.”
Her head came up. She knew he did, and he’d said as much last week.
“But what does this have to do with your father?”
“Mr. Prescott donated the new cancer wing at the hospital and he commissioned me to do a mural for it.”
“Oh, Michaela, that’s wonderful. I hope this will be just the thing to open the door to you starting your art career. You’ve been talking about it for a long time.”
“But he left Hunter in charge of overseeing the project.”
Her mother leaned back in the chair. “Oh. And how do you feel about that?”
“Loaded question, Mom. I’m so mixed up right now, I don’t know if I’m coming or going. He lives in LA and we were supposed to meet and discuss the project, but ended up having a major blow up. Let me rephrase that—Ihad a major blow up or meltdown, or whatever you want to call it. He was in the hospital for months and he never told me.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “He said he loved me and didn’t want to put me through the torture.”
“That had to be so hard for him, but I don’t understand why he just didn’t come right out and say it.”
“His family didn’t even know. He mentioned some old conversation we’d had about Dad and told me it was because he didn’t want me to have to choose.”
“I see,” her mother said softly.
“That makes one of us.”
“Do you remember how adamant you were about wanting me to hire someone to come in to care for your father or letting him stay in the hospital?”
Michaela frowned. “Yes, but that had nothing to do with Hunter. Heleft me, Mom,” she said, the tears starting to flow.
“Baby, it has everything to do with him and the decision he made,” she said, covering Michaela’s hand. “Hunter loved you enough not to force you to make the same choice that I did. Actually, I’d venture to say he was more afraid of what choice you’d make.”
The weight of her mother’s words slammed into her like a freight train and she found it hard to breathe.No way could I do what my mom did with my father and be that exhausted every day, all day. I’d definitely have to hire someone to come in and help.Along with the memory of what she’d told him, images all of the photos and videos Hunter had shown her rushed back, nearly overwhelming her. “No, no, no,” she whispered, clutching her chest. “Ohmigod,Mom.” Michaela brought one hand to her mouth and wrapped the other around her midsection as a sob broke free. She dropped her head to her knees. “He was right.” The guilt surged up and nearly drowned her. Hunter had remembered that one small conversation and knowing she would do exactly as she’d told him, had given her an out. To not make her have to choose between living up to the vows she had planned to speak and watching him suffer for who knew how long. He loved her enough to make the ultimate sacrifice of letting her go, but would she have loved him enough to hang in there with him? Michaela didn’t want to look into the shadowy corner of her heart that might give her an answer she didn’t like. Hunter had been afraid she wouldn’t choose him. The knowledge that she’d put that fear in his heart made the tears come faster.
“It’s going to be okay, baby,” her mother said, her arms wrapped firmly around her.
“It’s not going to be okay, Mom. It’s not ever going to be okay because I messed up. I made him think I wouldn’t be there for him and love him like you loved Dad. I did that.” She’d been so angry about whathe’ddone, and even after their last conversation, she still wanted to place all the blame on him. But this was on her. Her father had always told her to weigh her words carefully because they had power. Her words had power, all right, and they destroyed the most precious love she’d ever known.
“Michaela, look at me.”
It took a lot of effort to raise her head, as the shame of her words continued to bombard her.
“I can’t say whether or not you would’ve left his care to someone else, but I know you love Hunter and he loves you, and that’s a good place to begin. You’re not that same twenty-something woman you were when your father died. I’ve watched you grow into a thirty-three year-old woman who goes after what she wants. The question is do you love Hunter enough to fight for him?”
“I do.”
A soft smile curved her lips. “Then what you need to do is put on your big-girl panties and go after him. Maybe this time Iwillget to hear those two little words,” she added with a chuckle.
Two little words?Michaela viewed her mother curiously. Then it dawned her.I do. She hugged her mother. “I love you, Mom.” And as soon as she got home, she was finding those big-girl panties.
* * *
Saturday morning, Hunter and Mark worked out in Hunter’s home gym. More like Mark worked out and Hunter did something that resembled a kindergartner learning how to exercise for the first time. He should be grateful, however, because he could actually use dumbbells—he’d finally graduated from single digit weights—and a couple of the machines.
“Have you talked to Michaela since the meeting?” Mark asked.
