Robert stared down at the table for a moment, then met Jasper’s gaze with his own. “Are you trying to make me feel guilty?” He traced an old round water stain with his finger. Then he lifted his head to meet Jasper’s gaze once more. “It’s a serious question, Jazz.”
Jasper caught his breath. No one ever called him Jazz—only Lacy. “No. No, not at all. I’m genuinely curious.”
“You don’t know who I am, do you?”
“You’re Lacy’s uncle.”
“Yes, but Lacy never mentioned me?”
Jasper shook his head and swallowed the remainder of his drink. “She might have, but not that I remember.”
Robert pointed to the empty glass. “Another?”
Jasper put his hand over the top of the glass. “I better not. But thank you.” He noticed some initials that had been scratched into the tabletop, EN, and wondered who he or she was. He looked back up. “I’m sorry, but best as I can recall, she never said she had an uncle. But as I also told you, we really didn’t talk about family much.”
“Whatdidyou talk about?”
Jasper smiled. “Clothes. What was on Netflix or Hulu. Boys.” He raised his eyebrows and Robert laughed. “Boys especially.”
“Did Lacy have a fella?”
Without thinking, and maybe because of the drink, Jasper blurted, “Me.”
“You?” Robert did a double take. “I thought you were—”
“What?” Jasper cocked his head. “Light in the loafers? Friend of Dorothy? Power bottom?”
Robert cracked up again. “Yes, yes. All of the above.” He arched his brows. “Power bottom? Really?”
Jasper felt heat rise to his cheeks. “Well—”
“I thought you were gay. Like me. Oh God, that sounds like an after-school special. Remember those? No. You’re too young. But I can just see one calledGay Like Me, with Paul Lynde or Charles Nelson Reilly—and you probably don’t even know who they are.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why I said that. Today, they’d definitely cast Sara Gilbert.”
“Or Betty White, as Grandma. And a very special guest appearance by Adam Rippon. You know Adam Rippon?” Jasper shook his head. “No, you’re too old.”
“Hey, watch it.”
Jasper forged onward. “Anyway, I think we’ve established we’re both gay. And it seems odd to me that Lacy never mentioned you, given that fact.”
“Quit making me feel bad. Why odd, anyway? Just because we’re both gay doesn’t mean anything.”
“Sorry.”
“You were the one who said you were her fella, starting all the confusion. Are you… bi or something?”
“Sweetie, power bottoms are never bi. We take an oath when we’re sworn in.” Jasper rolled his eyes. “But, uh, I think Lacy might have thought of me as her fella, as you say.”
“Really? Didn’t she know?”
“Oh Jesus, how could shenotknow? No, wemetin a gay bar. Sidetrack. Down in Boystown. It was show-tunes night, and I knew all the words to ‘Send in the Clowns.’” Jasper cast his thoughts back to a warm summer night after a day at the gay beach, sunburned skin, being more than a little drunk, and a goth girl eyeing him from across the bar and laughing. It had been love at first sight.
“She always knew,” Jasper said. He stared down at the table for a long time, wishing suddenly that Lacy’s passing had all been a dream and she actuallywassitting at a table across the room, wearing her lace gloves and sipping a cosmo. How could he go on without her? He lifted his gaze to Robert. “I said I was her fella because I know she thought of me that way.”
Robert set down his glass and cocked his head.
“In the whole time I knew her, once we became friends, she never dated a guy. We slept together, not inthatway, but maybe in a way that meant more. She doted on me. And I let her. We never went to a straight bar in hopes of finding someone for her. It was always my choice, and she always seemed happy to hang out with the boys. She never seemed to mind when I’d leave her alone at the bar to go home with some one-nighter. But I think she did.
“She’d always want to know about him the next morning. I’d tell her everything… and I meaneverything. I couldn’t get a blush out of that girl if I tried.”
