Walking back out to the living room, my sisters and mom all stand with their hands pressed to their hearts.
“Oh, there’s my handsome baby boy.” My mom sighs. “I’ve missed you.”
I grunt, tugging on the collar of the sweater. “It’s kind of itchy, but I’ll wear it for Thanksgiving. Thank you.”
“You sure you don’t want to wear it today?”
Positive.There’s no way Aulie’s seeing me dressed like this today. Like hell if I’m going to risk her friend zoning me after all my hard-earned movement into the offensive zone these past few weeks.
A peculiar silence fills the living room. My stomach drops. “Where are the boys?”
A splash of water and a distinctive plop follow my foreboding question.
Plop. Plop.
Coby’s giggles grow far more mischievous.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I rush to the bathroom. Why did I leave the door open? Why were they left anywhere unattended?
Plop.
Pausing in the doorframe, a display of horror show proportions unveils around me.
Coby’s huddled over the toilet, tossing my various possessions in.
Like my shirt.
And my watch.
And my pants.
And then, with a certain confidence I’ve failed to achieve in my twenty-eight years on this planet, the devil looks me square in the eye and pees all over my shit.
“What are these, Uncle Jack?” Grant asks, holding my contacts in his grubby palm.
“No. No.” I reach for them in a panic, but I’m too late. He tosses them into the toilet.
Delicate titters sound over my shoulder, and I grab the two terrors and stuff them under my arms.
Turning, I’m greeted by Amy and Simone standing in the doorway with enormous grins.
“The rest of your stuff is in the wash.” Simone bites back a laugh.
“I know.” I was trying to be responsible and do a load of laundry before I moved over to Gus and Aulie’s next week since Little Jack is about to move into the nursery. Damn adulting to hell.
“You have to wear the sweater.”
“I’m aware,” I say, scowling at Amy. “Your children are actual demons.”
She shrugs. “But they’re cute demons, aren’t they?” She brushes some hair from Coby’s face, still tucked securely under my arm.
Simone follows suit, raising on her toes and smoothing my hair down.
I’m glad I’m on the same level of respect with these women as these two devil spawns.
I place the boys down, ushering them out of the bathroom. “Go.”
