At some point, sleep finds me, and I blink my eyes open at a loud rap on our door. Did Connor forget his keys? Peeling myself off the floor, I make my best not-in-an-agonizing-amount-of-pain impression, straighten my shoulders, and shuffle to the door. This Connor knows about my disease, and this Maddie is a little more open about letting others see her at her most vulnerable. But in reality, Jenny Farrow is the only one who knows for a reason, and right now, I don’t feel up for another life lesson. I want to survive the next few hours. That’s it.
Without checking who’s on the other side, I swing the door open and regret my extreme lack of caution.
Black ink swirls on his exposed, toned forearms, making a rare appearance because he’s pushed up the sleeves to his Fezziwig University crewneck sweater. I can’t look at his arms, then. I pull my gaze up. Auburn and chestnut curls peek out under a backward baseball cap as green eyes that usually sparkle halt my traveling stare. He has the gall to stand here, after everything, and look remorseful. Downtrodden, even. His face is pale, his lips parted, trying to catch a breath, and that tremor from earlier is still working its way through his right hand.
Am I the one sick here? Or…
“What are you doing here?” I blink.
“I need to take care of you.” He exhales.
And I can’t help but read into his choice of words. He could have easily said,I came to take care of you.OrI wanted to check up on you.Or something like that, but I don’t think people usually say theyneedto take care of someone.
“Well, I don’t need any help, so thank you for stopping by, but—” I go to swing the door shut, and Seth’s palm lands flat against the door, preventing me from closing it.
“Maddie, please don’t shut me out. Not right now,” Seth rasps. Like his breathing is strained, and he was the one who was tortured today, not the other way around.
A tear threatens to roll down my cheek, and I catch Seth’s hand twitching at his side. “I was vulnerable with you,” I whisper. “And you threw it back in my face. Seth, that’s not an easy thing for me.”
“I know I messed up big time, Buttercup. I’m so so so sorry. And I swear I will grovel at your feet for all eternity, wear a chicken suit and worship the ground you walk on, let you dominate the fuck out of me for every second of every day. I don’t care. But please, for the love of god, let me take care of you right now.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m totally fine,” I grit out while a pain grips my side, and I fight a crunch. My mask, thankfully, stays in place in one of my finer performances.
“Madeline Finch.” Seth’s voice drops into the low, stern cadence I’ve not yet heard outside the bedroom.
Don’t think about the bedroom right now. That hurts too.
“You are not fine. I can feel you.”
My pulse hammers in my ears. He canfeelme?
“I’m—I’m sorry. What?” I blink.
“Something about this world.” He gestures around. “Whenever you’re in pain, I get anxious.”
“Oh, well, that must suck for you, then.” I force a laugh through another stabbing pain and step aside so Seth can enter the apartment. I don’t have the will to fight, and after I worked so hard to get the last pill down to no avail, as stubborn as I want to be, if heneedsto take care of me, well, I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. “But please don’t worry, it’s nothing, just my—” I bite my lower lip, debating if I want to be this vulnerable with him. Yeah, he was an asshole today, but he looks awfully remorseful, and he just said he’d wear a chicken suit for me, so…
“It’s your endo, I know.” He smiles softly, grabbing the crook of my elbow and guiding me toward the couch.
“I need to grab my pills in the kitchen first.” I move away from the sofa. “How do you know about my endo?” I ask before the obvious answer lightbulbs its way into my brain. “Oh, damn it, Jenny.”
“It’s not her fault.” He shakes his head. “Do you remember a sophomore year when you passed out and ended up at the nurse’s office?”
“What time?” I snort, opening the fridge and groaning when I remember I have to bend for the water pitcher. A gentle push on my shoulder nudges me out of the way, and Seth peers in and grabs it. No verbal cues are necessary.
“Oh. Um. Didn’t know there was more than one, but fair.” He chuckles, reaching up for a glass and pouring my water. “This time you were walking home from class, and it was raining out.”
“And some mysterious person caught me.” I supply the end of that story.
“Yeah, I was the someone. And I kind of pestered Jenny to make sure you were okay.” He has the audacity to plaster the cutest blush on his face when he hands me my cup, and any feelings of frustration I have for him melt away.
Freaking jerk.
“Seth Aarons.” I smirk, letting my fingers brush against his on the exchange. “Were you worried about Madeline Finch?”
“Yes.” He exhales, pinning the emerald in his eyes on me. “I’ve always worried about you, Maddie, even when I didn’t want to. Why do you think I showed up at your house the night before all this happened? “
“Awfully weird of you to ghost and shatter me, then,” I say, taking my pill and washing it down with water. After my last trip in the bathroom, I’m more hopeful about it staying down this time but then my right ovary twists, my heartbeat hammers at a dangerous pace, and suddenly I’m not so sure.
