Fuck, I would have sold a kidney if she told me it’d make her happy the first time I saw her. But then she morphed into something I don’t know. I could see the goodness in her, but then it went up in flames.
But that’s the real Madeline Finch. She wouldn't be merciful if she thought I was a goner. So I can’t give this Madeline Finch an ounce of compassion, either. It’s survival of the fittest here in Balsam Hill.
“Dude, you can stop now, you know.” James breaks into my train of thought as I struggle to push up the bar one last time. Yeah, I’m going to regret that in the morning.
“Sorry, I lost count. How many was that?”
“You did twenty-five reps. I thought we were doing heavy weights at fifteen today,” he grunts, grabbing my bar and placing it back on the rack.
“Something on my mind.” I shake my arms out at my side. The burn rushing through them is a sensation I’m growing addicted to again.
When the accident happened, I wanted to leave my old life behind, but these last few weeks have reminded me that I like some of this stuff. I like the strategy of picking the right play and reading the field. I enjoy counting through a workout and letting it quiet my mind. Maybe that’s why my anxiety has been such shit since the accident because this was a coping skill I didn’t even know I had.
I don’t know. If I ever go back to the old Seth, I’ll have to test that theory.
“Thinking about fingering fucking tutor girl again.” James’s lips tug into a sly smile. “She’s a lot louder than I thought she’d be.”
“I’ll keep that in mind when she comes over later.” I get off the bench, standing behind the bar.
“She’s an odd choice when you could have Jenny back whenever you wanted, but okay.”
Jenny. Fuck, it’s terrible of me to admit, but I haven’t thought about Jenny at all in the past two weeks. She’s texted me a few times, but I’m not ready to face this version of her. It broke my heart enough to see her turning. I don’t think I’d like to see the transformation complete. But she’s probably my end game if Connor is Maddie’s. Right?
Maybe I should text her back.
Ingeneral,Iama well-spoken man. No matter how much shit Maddie has given me for being Captain Pretentious. If not verbally, then at least on paper, I write away the screaming thoughts swirling like a blizzard until they are a soft glide of a few lacey flakes.
But sometimes, even with all the words available, I have been speechless.
I can now say with complete and total confidence that Madeline Finch wearing one of my flannels in a pair of heels in my bedroom is one of those times.
“Do you like it?” She peeks at me. “I found it in the back of your closet, and I thought—”
“Baby, come here.” I motion for her from across the room. This is the Maddie from my longest, hardest nights. “God, you’ve been such a good girl, you know that? Let me take care of you.”
That phrase feels so douchey every time, but I love the pink blush that tinges on her cheeks whenever I utter it. So she has a praise kink? My ego can work with that.
Her teeth run over her bottom lip as she glances up at me, and I see all the vulnerability in her gaze. “I have been on my best behavior, you know.” She sidles up to me, threading her hand through my hair and pressing up on her toes. “So please play nice,” she whispers, brushing her lips against mine.
There’s a moment as the heat of her mouth captures mine where I feel us glitch, like old Maddie is kissing old Seth, and she’s dominating the fuck out of him. I don’t know, maybe it’s the flannel and all my repressed underclassman fantasies coming true that pulls him out a bit, but she could tell me to get on my knees, and I’d beg for a taste of her.
And I can’t let that happen.
I’m safe as long as she thinks I still have the upper hand.
The minute she catches on that I’m a goner, I’m screwed.
“Get on the bed, Madeline,” I growl against her lips. “Now.”
She whimpers, dragging her teeth across mine, and it takes superhuman strength not to beg her to let me worship her until the end of days. My knees buckle ever-so-slightly, and I hope she doesn’t notice.
“I said, bed.”
“Come with me.” She tugs on my shirt, walking me forward, and I comply.
Doomed, Aarons. You are doomed.
I halt my steps and drop my forehead against hers. “Maddie,” I whisper.
