“Yeah, you know that round thing people sometimes get with sauce and cheese, usually put toppings on it.”
“I like pizza.” I nod.
His lips twitch. “Good to know where you stand on the Italian staple. Would you like to get some tonight?”
“Sure. Yeah. That sounds good.” My eyes narrow to his lips, red and puffy, and any other thought flies out of my head.
“Sausage, green peppers, and onions, right?”
“Huh?” I watch his mouth move, aching to brush against them.
“You like sausage, green peppers, and onions on your pizza, right? Earth to Madeline, hello.” He waves a hand in front of my face with a smug, satisfied smile. “Eyes up here.”
“Oh, yeah. That is my favorite. How did you know?”
For a second, Seth regards me, almost bashfully, and rubs the back of his head. “Jenny may not be great at letting traditions go, so she still orders the pizza half-pineapple and ham, half-sausage, green peppers, and onions. Not a terrible combination.”
“Oh.” My heart squeezes thinking about Jenny going to our pizza parlor like we have every Friday since we were kids and ordering the same large New York-style pizza, and sitting there without me, and I have to fight back the tear threatening to trickle down. What kind of fucking monster was I that I did that to her?
“Hey—” Seth cups my cheek. “Madeline, I didn’t mean to—it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not, but thank you for going with her. I’m glad she had someone to lean on.”
“Yeah, of course.” He cocks his head, studying me, and then cups my face with his other hand, tilting my chin, so my lips meet his. He leans like he’s about to brush against them—a real kiss, without a game to play.
But a loud shriek of, “Aarons, you son of a bitch! You’re always early,” interrupts us.
The room breaks into a raucous as an avalanche of football bros pour into the room.
And a smattering of “What’s tutor girl doing here?” echoes off the weight machines.
Seth ignores the incoming crowd, his attention still pinned on me. “Seven? Okay, I’ll see you then?”
I nod. He does this weird bro-ey handshake with a behemoth of a man, and I fall into the shadows and out the door.
Chapter thirteen
Holiday Inn
Seth
Well,I’mfucked.
James spots me as I push the barbell toward the sky and breathe through the muscle fatigue. I’d much rather focus on my arms than what just happened or almost happened with Madeline, but my head won’t quiet like it usually does when I’m at the gym. So instead, I’m lying here with my thoughts spinning in a tornado of panic. Over the past two weeks, I’ve had some glitching moments of weakness where I wanted to fall at Maddie’s feet, but those glitches quieted the minute I realized Maddie wasn’t just some fictional copy of someone I knew buttheSatanic Barbie.
Today, though, something inside me cracked when she showed that maybe she still has a conscience, and a rush of feelings flooded my system.
I didn’t just want to kiss her a few minutes ago.
I needed to. Like I was a man poisoned, and she was the antidote.
In our entire history, she’s never felt like a life-saving device, just the death of me.
And I called her “my baby.” Not only is that the douchiest thing to call a woman—but I don’t hate it? Not the term, but the thought that Maddie would want to be mine.
Because the truth is, I desperately want to be hers.
Again.
