“Hi, I missed you,” I murmur, breaking protocol and leaning in his direction. My head falls against his shoulder, and I rest a hand on the top of his thigh.
With a happy sigh, he pulls me in tighter against him. “Yup, this is much better.”
“Than what?”
“Sharing this couch with you and having you buried into that corner, clinging to the armrest for dear life.”
“I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I was always the perfect picture of calm on this thing.”
He leans over me, inspecting my side. “Definitely see some claw marks.” He smiles, righting his posture and paying the toll on my lips before straightening again. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“I didn’t want my hands to do something they shouldn’t,” I grumble. “What about you? You always took up half the damn couch with your arm stretched out lounging on the top, dive bombing for snacks whenever I reached for them and—oh.”
Does a stronger word thancluelessexist?
I glance at the gleam in Liam’s eye, my heart leaping at his knowing smirk.
“You could have just said something, you know.” I playfully nudge his shoulder.
“What would you have wanted me to do?” He gently rolls me so my back hits the offending armrest, bracing himself in a hover over me but careful to keep pressure off my abdomen. He dips into a push-up and kisses the corner of my lips, mine part in response, anxious for him. “What would have happened if I begged? Would you have put me out of my misery then?” he asks.
“I mean, it couldn’t have hurt the situation.”
He dips for another kiss. “What if I told you that after the first thirty minutes of whatever movie we watched, you’d forget I was there and relax into this face that’s seared into my skull? One where your eyes would go wide and sparkle, and you’d push out this damn bottom lip.” He nips at it. Still propped on one hand, he trails a finger slowly up the inside of my thigh, exposed under the flimsy shift dress of choice. I suck in a breath at the sensation, my eyes fluttering closed, and reach for him with a whimper. “Just like that, good girl.”
Oh.My eyes pop open with a nervous chuckle at Liam calling meagood girl. “You’re such a cheeky asshole.” I push him off me, and he pulls me up.
“You relaxed, though?” His grin spreads wide across his disaster of a gorgeous face.
Partially relaxed. Partially other things. Life with Liam in a nutshell.
“Unfortunately. I can’t wait to unpack that with someone someday.” I shake my head.
“How are you feeling otherwise? You were on your feet all last night.” He leans down and checks the remote on the heating pad, pressing a few buttons. Sometimes the timer turns off, and I forget to flick it back on and just sit there in pain and wonder why. It’s weird I’ve had this disease for over ten years, but I still get surprised by silly things like that. Liam’s been a guardian of the heating pad ever since he saw it happen, constantly monitoring it and ensuring I don’t fall into my own trap.
“Tired, but good.”
“Don’t push it today. Clare has the details, and I’m good at picking stuff up and putting it down.”
“I’ll be fine,” I say, resting my head back on his shoulder. A baby balloon floats across the picture window, heading to the backyard and the tent. It pricks a sadness in my chest I’ve become skilled at avoiding until I’m staring right at the culprit. Something that I don’t talk about with anyone.
I know my body. I know my ovaries are riddled with scar tissue, and my fallopian tubes have been severely damaged. I know that even after I carry, the effects of endometriosis will still be there, and the prospect of taking care of another human life when I can barely take care of myself somedays is daunting.
And I don’t know if any of that matters or if I even want children. But the thought that the choice might not be mine to make anyway? That’s the one that’s hard to cope with.
Holly and Caleb? They didn’t have to think about this stuff. They just thoughtHey, having a cousin the same age as Clare’s sounds like a good plan. Let’s do it,and that was it. But it’s never going to be that simple with me. It’s why it’s so important to me that whatever happens next with Liam and me, we go slow. I can keep a lot of the endo experience to myself, but if he wants a life with me, that’s a reality he’ll have to shoulder too.
I wipe at a tear.
This was the wrong freakin’ day in my cycle for a baby shower.
Clare and Holly may be secretly evil.
No. Scratch that. They definitely are.
“Evie. I’m thirsty,” Holly hollers from her seat of honor.
I groan. “Seriously, how are you this thirsty?”
