“I came to share some information I’ve gathered,” he finally says. His guttural voice is so tight that I have to think for a minute to understand the words.
I stand and move to my wardrobe, still not looking at him, and pull on a shirt and leggings. I finish dressing and turn to face him again as I ask, “What did you find?”
Yet again, he’s staring at the wall behind me. I can tell he’s exerting a significant amount of control to stand there even this calmly. He eventually responds, “Rex was behind your time at the center.”
I blink at him, my world spinning. I turn the chair I was just sitting on and drop myself onto it. “What do you mean?” I ask.
“There’s a data trail which shows that the angels became aware ofDiocommitting you to the center,” he says.
His voice sounds particularly dark on Dio’s name, and I trap an unwelcome snarl in my throat before it can emerge.
“Even as you were in the carriage on the way to the treatment center, there were drugs ordered for you. A significant number and high dose of psychiatric medication were in your medical record before you even arrived. Most of those drugs would never be used to treat addiction.”
“They never intended to help me recover,” I say as I realize the impact of what he’s telling me.
“No,” says Malam. “In fact, I think you might still be there if I hadn’t removed you.”
“So my time at the angel stronghold was them remedying their loss of me from Piquory Center.”
“Likely yes,” Malam says. “If they had actually wanted to prosecute you for the death of one of their own, they could have more easily done that closer to when it occurred.”
“Thank you, Malam,” I say. My mind is spinning, and I want some time to think.
“There’s more,” he says. I note that his hands tighten into fists.
“You never harmed yourself.”
These words, along with so many others, hang over me, and something shifts. Some part of the map in my head is being redrawn.
Even as I think of it, I hear Malam speaking. “An angel showed up at the treatment center, likely to confirm your status for the others. Even though you were nearly catatonic, you recognized what he was and attacked him, knocking him down and breaking a table in the process. Then he stabbed you with a knife. Thankfully, a steel knife and not an Angelforged blade, or I’m sure you wouldn’t have survived.”
The room closes in further, and there is a ringing in my ears. A blurry memory of a blade being pulled from my abdomen and bright green eyes looking into mine plays in my mind’s eye.
“In the video, I saw him hide the blade quickly on his person. He then made it look as though he had been trying to restrain you as you stabbed at yourself with a shard from the table. The humans weren’t even to blame for that. I think they really did believe you harmed yourself.”
So did I, I think to myself, but don’t say it.
“If they reacted so quickly to me being sent there, they must be watching me closely,” I say after a moment.
I see surprise pass quickly over Malam’s face before he says, “Whatever the angels are doing, or did, ifDiohad not sent you to treatment without your consent, none of this would have happened.”
Again, the tone of his voice as he says Dio’s name makes rage swirl in me, and I carefully school my expression. “Do you think I’m endangering the boys by being here?”
“I think you are all in danger either way, and since you’re capable of defending yourself and others, they are lucky to have you,” he snarls.
I nod, still considering. “The boys will be happy to have you back,” I say.
His whole body tenses as he looks away. “I’m not coming back,” he growls.
“What do you mean?”
“I refuse to spend any more time in the same house asthat man,” he spits.
Unbidden, my fingers clench into fists, and rage pushes at me. I swallow it down, shoving it away. Whatever else I’m feeling, this isn’t my fight. After another quiet, tense moment where I consider asking Malam to reconsider, I decide to drop it. Something tells me this isn’t the time. Instead, I ask, “Do you have anything else for me?”
He blinks as though he is surprised at the question and then stares at me and says, “No.”
Just as I’m thinking I may have to ask him to leave, he takes astep forward and holds his hand out, his mouth slightly open as though he wants to say something.
