Fuck, what else was there? “Um… for not cleaning it up?”
“And?”
“Andwhat?”
“And it won’t happen again?”
Oh. “It won’t happen again,” I assured her.
“Noteven if Dex comes in here at the same time?”
“Well, he started—”
“Jonah!” Becca scolded, and I stopped myself.
“It won’t happen again. We’ve, uh… sorted it out. Between us. Worked it out,” I told Amanda, not liking the heat I felt rising inside me from just talking about the man who took up all of my attention lately.
While I still didn’t know what had come over me that day when we were last here, why I’d acted without thinking, I knew that I—we—wouldn’t be doing that again. Whatever had changed between us didn’t make me immune to being pissed off by him, but my feelings toward him had shifted away from that all-consuming rage. What they’d evolved into I didn’t yet understand, but I was done fighting it.
I tried not to fidget as Amanda gave me a long, assessing once-over. Her eyes lingered on the leather jacket I was currently wearing. His jacket. I saw her fighting a smile before her eyes met mine again. “Fine. But if you cause any more problems, I’m banning you. Understand?”
I nodded stiffly, and Becca hooked her arm in mine as she stepped forward and ordered for us: a coffee, a milkshake—which I knew she got only for me—and fries to share. Even when she was pissed she still had to take care of me. It was cute, but I wouldn’t tell her that.
I knew why she was pissed at me. I’d been avoiding her since that day in the field when I’d agreed to belong to Dex and he’d taken me back to his house. For four days, I’d blown her off to hang out with him instead. I hadn’t even gone to school, spending my time around the beach or Meadow Park even when Dex was at work at the mechanics. But it was more than just that. I knew I couldn’t have seen her without telling her everything, and I knewshe wouldn’t approve when I did. I knew she wouldn’t understand it.
My eyes were fixed on the table between us as we sat at our regular booth, seeking anything else to look at that wasn’t Becca’s disapproving stare. I wasn’t used to that, not from her, and although I knew her negativity came from a place of genuine concern, it was difficult not to get defensive right away.
“He’s bad for you, JJ,” she told me, apparently already knowing without me even needing to tell her. The defensiveness I was trying to tamp down inside me sprung up again with new force, only it wasn’t for me.
“You don’t even fucking know him,” I told her, my eyes snapping to hers.
“And you do?” she asked, arms folded.
“I know him better than you do.”
“I know he’s in a fucking gang, that he fights people for fun. He’s violent, Jonah.Enjoysbeing violent. We saw it with our own eyes. Have you even heard what people say about him? Liking his dick is one thing, but you’re what, dating the guy now?”
Dex and I hadn’t had that conversation. He’d asked me to be his, and I’d agreed. I’d surrendered myself to him. Did that mean we were dating, though?
“So what?” I snapped because I didn’t know what else to say. She was right. He was in a gang. He was violent. But he was so much more than that.
“So he’s fucking crazy!”
“Okay? And? Maybe I’m crazy too!”
“You’re not, Jonah. You’re not like him.”
Why was that so insulting? I hated him, or at least I’d believed I had until a few days ago. But things had shifted. Maybe things that were always supposed to. “Maybe there’s nothing wrong with being like him.”
“It won’t end well. Not for you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. But whatever. Don’t listen to me. I’ll still be here for you when it all goes to shit, but I’m gonna say ‘I told you so,’ and then we’ll figure out how to hide his body together.”
The tension broke, a laugh I couldn’t quite suppress pulled to the surface. “You’re going to kill him if he hurts me?”
“Damn right I am.Whenhe hurts you. You really going to make a murderer out of me, JJ?”
