“I think Archer knows where he lives. I’ll stop by and make sure he hasn’t injured himself like a dickhead,” I told Roy, who’d been even more silent and broody today than usual.
“No, that’s alright. I’ll handle it,” Roy grumbled from the desk, squinting as he looked at the calendar for tomorrow.
“You need glasses, old man.”
He huffed. It was all the response I’d expected as I zipped my leather jacket and picked up my helmet from the desk, as I turned for the door, Roy spoke up again. “How’s that boy?”
I couldn’t quite fight the way my lips tugged up at the corners. It was odd, having him know about Jonah—having him care—but I didn’t find it as annoying as I’d thought I would. I’d told Roy more than I’d planned to. Part of it was a test. I wanted to see if the old mechanic was as closed-minded as most of the fuckers in Port Skelton. But as I should have expected, he hadn’t even flinchedwhen I told him I was into a guy. Roy was a man of few words, but he’dlistened, and I’d needed that more than I realized.
“Satisfied. At least the last time I saw him,” I answered, hoping to provoke a reaction from the man, but he remained as stoic as ever.
“And you?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? I had been satisfied at the time. It brought me immense pleasure to watch Jonah unravel, to peel back his spiky layers so I could see him raw and unguarded in a way I suspected few others had. But the more time that passed since last seeing my rabbit, the more restless I’d grown.
I’d found myself looking for him each morning in the diner… waiting for him to show up again at the Meadow Park field. There hadn’t been any more parties for me to hunt him down at yet, and I found myself increasingly opposed to that being the only time we saw each other.
“I will be,” I answered eventually. “Once he’s mine.”
Roy nodded softly. “When I was courting my wife, I bought her flowers.”
“And how is your wife, Roy?” I asked, defensive on instinct.
“Point taken,” he huffed, and I almost felt bad for him. I knew Roy hadn’t spoken to his ex-wife since the divorce. It was a shitty thing to have said, but even knowing that, it wasn’t in my nature to apologize.
“I’ll think about it,” I said with a little less venom this time, and Roy simply nodded, turning his attention back to the computer. Somehow I didn’t think flowers were the way to worm myself underneath Jonah’s skin so deeply he could never be rid of me. In fact, I didn’t think gifts seemed like the way to keep him fixated on me at all. So what would? What kept him coming back to me currently was violence, and that didn’t feel right either. What would make my little rabbit stop running?
It was a joke initially, calling him Rabbit. It was because of the bunny ears. But now I couldn’t think of a better nickname for the man.
Jonah was a rabbit. Not because he was weak or pathetic or helpless, like he probably thought I meant when I called him that, but because I could see it in his eyes—the desperation of something hunted, of something living on adrenaline and instinct, as if his constant state of being was a vulnerability he had to hide. He lived as if life was out to get him, like he was always looking for a threat, like a rabbit that knew that at any moment it might be cornered and eaten.
Jonah had the rage of a prey animal, all teeth and claws and a desperate instinct to lash out and fight for his life. He was scared and called it rage—perhaps it was both. Whatever it was, his eyes were full of it, and I couldn’t help but think it suited him. Tough little rabbit, ready to fight the wolf. Too bad for him, the wolf doesn’t care how much the rabbit fights back or tries to get away.
“Well, I’m going hunting.” I pulled the helmet over my head and secured it in place.
Roy huffed from behind me, and I was gone.
My prized possession—my father’s bike—roared over asphalt between buildings, then on dirt between trees. The wind screamed in competition. Tendrils of chill found the seams and gaps in my clothing and seeped beneath in an unwelcome caress.
Boots crunched over stone, over brush, over sand, and then I was standing at the peak, the ledge, the darkness deceptive enough that I could lose my footing if I didn’t know this place like it was my own heart. Even more.
I don’t know why I visited Dad so often; it never left me satisfied. I’d tried visiting his grave. His name was etched into the stone, cold and impersonal—Declan Ian Weller, beloved father and husband. Only half true. He wasn’t there. It was a place for the dead. Notlike here. Here felt like life—where I could see what he saw, hear what he heard. I could trick myself into thinking we were spending moments together across time.
When my father died, it left a void inside me. Roy soothed it, but he could never fill it, could never make me feel it less. I didn’twantto feel it less. If I stopped missing my father, no one else would, and he didn’t deserve that. If I let him go, he’d be forgotten. He’d die a second death. I was going to keep my father alive as long as possible.
“Bryce didn’t show up to work today,” I said, taking my usual seat in the dirt beside a tree that grew sideways, leaning over the edge like it too longed to soar. “He’s a bit useless, but not showing up for work is new for him. He hasn’t done that before. If I don’t hear from him by tomorrow, I’ll have to hunt the idiot down.”
Pulling out my pocket knife, I resumed carving deep gashes into the stone beside me, the blade following the well-engraved lines so easily I didn’t even need light to guide it. “Better not have gotten himself killed. Then I’ll have to avenge him, and I just don’t really have the time.”
Bryce and I were by no means friends, but he was a Stray, and that meant he was under my protection like the rest of them. Even if I did beat him up more than anyone else, including the Drakes.
I continued to update Dad on my day, about Roy, and about the auto shop they used to own together. There was nothing new to update him on about Jonah, not yet, but I knew there would be soon. My rabbit. I wonder if he’d like it here?
When my fingers were stiff from the cold, I collected the butts from my smokes, shoving them into my pocket to dispose of later. I normally wouldn’t give a fuck about the litter. But not here.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Dad.” I stood up and dusted myself off. The ocean roared its unknowable answer in his place, and I started back for my bike, Delilah. I’d left her where I always did when Icame here—where she’d been found when she was still his. She’d led us to him when he hadn’t come home, and now she stood a silent sentinel, prepared to do the same for me if I ever followed. Only, there’d be no one else for her to watch over if I fell.
Port Skelton Community College was made up of a cluster of tall brick buildings, each identical to the last in that none of them had an ounce of personality. While I wasn’t a student here and had no desire to be, I often wondered how such a soulless place could ever inspire learning. It was no wonder Bryce struggled. Honestly, I wasn’t sure why he was enrolled here at all. All he did was complain about the place, the teachers, the students. He and Toby probably spent more time fucking around than studying, but what the fuck did I care? Wasn’t my tuition he was wasting.
