“Gimme one,” Jonah said after I’d finished.
“Not a good idea, Rabbit.”
“Fuck you. I do what I want. Gimme one.”
He was pouting again. That must have been the third time anyone had dared to say “fuck you” to my face without fearing theconsequences. It was also the third time I’d let it slide.
“Fine, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I lit the cigarette and passed it to him.
He stared at it as though, if he concentrated on it enough, he could force himself not to react like last time. Then, finally, he brought it to his lips and took a shorter drag on this attempt. It still didn’t stop him from coughing.
I reached to take it back, but he pulled it away from me.
“It’s mine,” he snarled.
“Alright, alright.” I raised my hands in placation. Some people just had to learn things the hard way. I rolled myself another while Jonah continued to struggle through his.
“Show me that.”
I turned to see him holding out his hand for my lighter. I clutched it tighter, and he rolled his eyes. “I just want to look. I’m not gonna steal it.”
If it had been anyone else, I would have promptly told them to fuck right off. Instead, for some unknown reason, I placed my father’s lighter into Jonah’s outstretched palm.
He angled his body toward the light to see it clearer, as his slender fingers traced over the flowers and leaves engraved on the front.
“It looks old.” He flipped it over to examine the back as well.
“It is.”
Older than either of us, for sure. It had seen better days, but wherever I went it came with me.
“Where did you get it?”
Here was the part where I normally lied. Except this time, I didn’t want to. “It was my dad’s.”
Jonah looked at me for a long moment—maybe he was searching for something, or maybe he was just drunk and had lost his words—before handing it back. I tucked it back into my pocket. Safe and secure.
He groaned as he lay back in the grass, and I did the same. I would have liked there to be stars or something, but above us was the edge of the too-large house and a blank darkness beyond. Still, it was quiet enough out here that it was almost peaceful. Granted, there was a house full of drunk idiots beside us, but for the moment, it was just him and me again, like that day in the meadow. It was nice.
Nicewas a dangerous thing for a guy like me to have.Niceand I didn’t fit together, like two puzzle pieces that formed entirelydifferent pictures. So I knew it was only a matter of time before something went wrong.
When the silence between us had extended long enough that I wondered if he’d fallen asleep or something, I turned, and found Jonah already staring back at me. We just looked at each other for a long moment. Something electric pulsed from his gaze to mine, sharing more than words. A quiet weight I’d never known. His eyes dropped to my lips.
Jonah moved closer, and my chest constricted in panic.
I was by no means a prude. I’d tongue fuck anyone decent-looking enough, and Jonah was so far beyond decent looking, but his eyes were still heavy and unfocused from intoxication. When I kissed him—and it was a matter ofwhenand notif—I wanted him to be sober. I wanted him to choose it without the shield of alcohol to hide behind afterward. I wouldn’t let him claim it was just a drunken mistake.
His lips were only an inch from mine when I turned my head away before they could touch, quickly occupying my mouth with my cigarette that had burned out without me realizing.
Then it was too quiet, and when I turned to look at him again, there was a fire in his eyes that I could almost feel burning me.
“Fuck you!” He raised his voice before shoving me.
That was four times now. Four too many. I shoved him back. “What’s wrong, Rabbit? Pissed off I wouldn’t give you a kiss?”
I’d known it was only a matter of time before something went wrong, and this time had been even shorter than I anticipated, because as Jonah’s knuckles connected with my lips, my reflexes kicked in and I hit him back before I’d even thought about it.
He stared at me wide-eyed, his hand covering his struck cheek. I licked the blood from my lip. The split in the bottom one opened again, thanks to the kiss from his knuckles. Then he launched himself at me, and we were brawling in the grass.
