“Mom,” I tell her, “there’s no need for you to get hysterical.”
“No need?” she sputters. Then she repeats louder, “No need?!”
Why couldn’t I have had a mother who supported my choices without constantly questioning them? Would that have really been too much to ask for? Instead of asking her that, I tell her, “This is my decision, and I’ve made it. I’m sorry you can’t be happy for me.”
“Happy for you?” She bursts into tears again.
“Yes, Mom. Happy for me. Why is that such a foreign concept for you? My life doesn’t have to be just like yours for it to be a good life, you know.”
She shakes her head from side to side. “Your life is nothing like mine, Allison.”
I’m about to throw my napkin at her and storm out when she surprises me by sitting back down. Staring me dead in the eye, she says, “I’ve had it easy, Allie. I’ve had the smoothest ride possible. And you … you’ve not been so lucky. I would do anything in this world for you not to have any more obstacles. Anything.”The tenderness in her tone catches me off guard.
“Then why are you giving me a hard time about this?” I demand. “All I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom and Margie is giving me that opportunity without having to sit on a list for God knows how many years until my dream can come true.”
“Giving you a hard time? Honey, I’m not giving you a hard time.”
“Mother, you just stood up, burst into tears, and ran from the room like I told you I was going to become a sex worker, or I don’t know, a marijuana tester.”
“Allison Marie,” my mom’s tone is once again reprimanding as is usual with the use of my full name. “You just told me that I was going to become a grandmother. That’s emotional business, especially after everything you’ve been through.”
Wait a second, what’s going on here?“You’re not mad at me? You’re not going to try to talk me out of it?”
She shakes her head slowly before saying, “I love you, Allie. I know how hard you’ve tried to have a baby. I know the heartache you’ve been through. I’m thrilled for you! I’m thrilled for me and Dad!” Before I can absorb this, she asks, “Does this mean you’ll be staying here in Elk Lake?”
She sounds almost hopeful which is really screwing with what I thought I knew about her. “Do you want me to?”
Tears start to free flow down her cheeks. “I would love that above all else.”
I push my chair away from the table and lean forward to stop the dizzy sensation that’s overtaken me. “If you want me to live in Elk Lake then why are you always telling me to move back to Madison or Chicago? You’ve been trying to get rid of me ever since I came home.”
“No, she hasn’t,” my dad exclaims firmly. “Your mother didn’t even start talking about you moving until you’d been here for six months. At that point she started to worry that if you didn’t make a move you’d give up on your dreams altogether.”
My head is spinning like I’ve just ridden the Tilt-a-Whirl at the county fair six times in a row. Believe me, you only make that mistake once. “What about me getting remarried?” I demand. “You’re always talking about me finding someone to share my life with.”
“That’s because I want you to have someone to share your life with. How is that wrong?”
“But you’re always saying that I need to find someone so I can have a family.”Talk your way out of that one, Margaret.
“That’s because that’s how I did it. I just assumed you’d do it the same way. But honey, you’ve found another way.”
I still can’t quite seem to wrap my head around what’s going on here. “And you’re happy about that?”
“I’m delighted!” She gets up from her chair and walks over tomine with her arms wide open. When I don’t stand quickly enough, she turns to Margie and offers her a hug.
Margie jumps up and practically throws herself into my mother’s arms. “Thank you for being happy,” she tells her. “More than anything, I’ve needed someone to be happy about this baby.”
“I’m so happy,” my mother tells her. “Thank you for my grandchild.”
I glance across the table at my dad, and he stands up to join the party. Once he arrives, he puts his hand out to me to help me up. Then he opens his arms and enfolds us all together. I have never in my whole life felt so much love and acceptance. I can’t imagine what Margie must be feeling.
Long moments pass before my mom steps aside. With a look of complete contentment on her face, she asks Margie, “Have you told your parents, dear?”
Margie shakes her head. “Not yet. We wanted to tell you first.”
“Do you think they’ll welcome you home once they know you’re not going to keep the baby?” she asks.
Margie sits back down at the table which signals us all to do the same. “I don’t think I want to go back there. My parents haven’t been very supportive, and I’m not ready to live with them again. I’m not sure I ever will be.”
