Chapter 49
Monday, 24 June
Sophie
Nick takes for ever to leave for work, which is weird for him, but typical that it should happen on the one day I need him to get out. The seed of a plan that was planted in my head just days ago has grown – a forest in my thoughts that I can’t see past. I can’t wait any longer. I have to escape right now.
The hospital called me yesterday. I didn’t answer, but later, while Nick was doing some weight training in the living room, I slipped into the bathroom, locked the door and listened to my voicemail. My skin grew hot and I stared at my wide-eyed reflection in the mirror as Matthew spoke, low and urgent in my ear.‘There’s something we need to talk about,’he said, reminding me of that day we met near Rachel’s house.‘I’m getting more mobile. I can walk on crutches now, and I’ve remembered a lot of stuff, Sophie. If you don’t come visit tomorrow then I’m busting out of here and coming to you.’
I knew in that one moment that if I didn’t leave the very second Nick was out of the way then I’d be stuck with him and with Matthew, the pair of them fighting over me like a toy.
I check the time again. It’s 6.31 a.m. Only a minute has passed since I last looked at the bedside clock. I can’t lie here much longer. Nick is normally up and out the door by six, but I can hear him in the kitchen opening and shutting drawers.
‘Sophie, you’d better get up,’ he yells. ‘You’re seeing Greg at seven.’
No, I’m not. I cancelled last night, feigning food poisoning. There’s no way I can work today. I’m too jittery, and the voice in my head telling me to get my fresh start is so loud I can’t think of anything else.
‘Greg just texted to say he’s running twenty minutes late,’ I shout back. ‘I’ve got a bit of time.’
‘Well, I’m off,’ he calls and I hold my breath while I wait to hear the sound of the door bang shut.
The moment it does I leap up and head straight for the shower. Then I pull on an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt I’ve not worn for ages. Both feel strange against my body after months of wearing mostly active wear. As I stare at my lean frame, my extensions, the silver of my hair in the mirror, I realize just how much of myself I’ve changed to be Nick’s girlfriend. I’ve always changed things about myself, but this is the first time I’ve done it for someone else.
I don’t know who I am any more. But maybe that’s a good thing. I’m leaving the old me behind. I’m really leaving Westbury. Finally.
The next hour is spent rushing through the rooms, frantically packing. Only when I’m done do I reach under the bed and pull out my old school backpack. Idon’t know why I’ve kept it all these years. The pink fabric is faded and yellowed, and when I lift it to my face I can still smell the smoke. It was one of the only things that survived the fire.
I fill it with the essentials and hurry to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. I’m not hungry, but I know I should eat while I have the chance.
It’s just as I’m slipping on my trainers, a slice of half-eaten toast in my hand, ready to leave, that I hear the front door open. I stand frozen in the kitchen, my eyes scanning the living room. My backpack is on the sofa but the rest of my things are still in the bedroom. Nick’s probably forgotten his gym bag. If I’m careful, I might be able to get him out of here without him learning the truth.
‘Sophie?’ he yells as his feet pound down the hall.
‘Yeah.’ I try to sound relaxed while inside I’m a wreck of nerves and desperation.Just let me go, Nick, I want to beg.
‘I was just in the gym and who do you think I bumped into? Greg,’ he says before I can answer. ‘Imagine how surprised I was to see him there and imagine how stupid I sounded when I reminded him of his PT session, only to be told that you cancelled him last night.’
‘I … I’m not well,’ I say, clutching at my stomach and hoping he’ll get the hint and not ask any questions. ‘I didn’t want to disappoint you. I’m sorry.’
He eyes me up and down from the doorway, taking in my different outfit. ‘You look fine to me.’
‘It’s Matthew,’ I blurt out another lie. ‘The hospital needs me to be with him this morning while they run some tests. I knew you’d be mad so I didn’t tell you.’
I feel my eyes dragging to my backpack. Panicshoots through my body and I move a fraction, trying to get to my bag before Nick sees it.
‘That’s total bullshit,’ Nick growls, stepping closer so that his body now blocks my way. ‘What’s really going on?’
I lean back against the counter, my hands behind me on the drawer where we keep the knives. I picture the stainless-steel points and wonder how far I’ll go to get free.
‘Sophie,’ Nick barks.
‘I’m leaving you.’ The words fall from my lips and I can’t believe how amazing the truth feels. My head spins with it and I bite my lip to stop the smile spreading across my face. ‘I’m leaving Westbury.’
‘What? When?’
‘Right now.’ My eyes move again to my bag and this time Nick’s gaze follows.
Before I can stop him, Nick is across the room and plucking my bag from the sofa.
