How are Beth and Archie, by the way? Is Archie still wetting his pants at school like a little baby? Are they still running off to your childminder because they love her more than you?
From: [email protected]
Subject: How does it feel?
NOONELOVES YOU,JENNA!!!!!!!!
You’re a terrible mother. You can’t see it yet, but you will very soon. When your children are gone and you have no one.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Did you think this was over?
It’s only just begun. Tick tock, Jenna. Time is running out for you.
Chapter 39
Friday, 21 June
Jenna
The storms started in the west of Britain last night. Flash floods and a barn in Wales hit by lightning. The news is showing rain falling in sheets, water pouring down roads, and fields that look like lakes. I wish it would hurry up and get to Westbury. I can’t take much more of this heat.
The kids couldn’t sleep last night. Too hot. They stayed up until ten, running through the house in their underwear, playing hide and seek and being the best of friends. It always amazes me how well Beth and Archie get on when the threat of bedtime is looming.
Stuart and I sat in the garden, him with a book and me with a glass of wine, the closeness we’ve shared these past months evaporating as fast as Archie’s cup of spilt water on the paving stones. We didn’t talk about DS Church or you. I didn’t tell him about what happened outside the house or my theory about youworking with someone else. I wanted to, but something stopped me, like there was a barrier between us.
When the emails arrived, one, two, three bullets aimed right at my heart, I broke the silence between us and handed Stuart my phone.
‘I need to call DS Church,’ I said.
‘Why bother? They can’t do anything. He’s getting desperate, that’s all,’ Stuart replied with a shrug, before handing the phone back to me. ‘Stop letting him get to you.’
‘He’s threatening our kids, Stuart. He says something is going to happen. How can you be so relaxed about it?’
‘I’m not relaxed, but I’m not rising to his bait. He’s in hospital and will be for some time. Every time you’re scared, you get distracted and the kids suffer and he wins.’
‘So you agree with him – I’m a terrible mother.’ The panic caused by your emails mutated into a dark rage and it was a fight to keep my voice low and even.
‘No, that’s not what I said. You’re tired and upset and you’re putting words in my mouth. But there’s no way you would’ve forgotten the kids today if you hadn’t been so distracted by this man. And he can’t even get to you any more. That’s the crazy thing, Jenna. He’s getting to you more now than he ever did before.’
‘I was only five minutes late.’
‘Beth said it was fifteen. And don’t palm me off with some lie about helping someone, Jenna. I know you too well for that.’ Stuart closed his book and stood up. ‘I’m going to bed.’
I gritted my teeth and stopped myself from screaming after him. What would I have said anyway? Hewas right. I did let you distract me and no one can make me feel worse about it than me. So I said nothing and let the kids stay up far too late, and now they’re tired this morning, dragging themselves down the stairs and faffing over their breakfasts and I end up driving to school.
The bell is ringing as we reach the gates. I kiss them goodbye and they run off to their classes just as the parents start to move towards me in a slow stampede. I turn away and head for my car.
I wonder again about the emails and whether I should tell DS Church. But I’ve been avoiding the detective and if I send these emails to her then I won’t be able to carry on dodging her calls.
I’m just starting the engine when I see Rachel jogging towards her Audi. She’s wearing white shorts that show slender, tanned legs. Her hair is in a neat ponytail which swishes with every step.
Now is my chance to talk to her. She knows something, I’m sure of it.
