Bernie’s words replay in my mind.‘He did have a girlfriend for a while … Blonde. Pretty for her age.’
Was it Rachel he saw? She is blonde and pretty, and much older than Matthew. Did you and Rachel have an affair? It would explain her reaction when I asked about you and why she’s been avoiding me for days.
I throw your keys into my glove compartment and as I drive home my head spins with everything I’ve learned in the last few hours; and the more I think about Rachel and you, the more I feel as though I’m trying to answer questions that have no answers.
Chapter 33
Sophie, aged fifteen
‘But why?’ Sophie shouts, traipsing after her mum who is carrying a pile of folded washing up the stairs. ‘Why can’t I go out? All my friends are going.’
Her mum opens the airing cupboard, places the stack of towels inside and closes it again before answering. ‘I’ve told you, you’re too young to go to a nightclub.’
‘They don’t serve alcohol, Mum. It’s a special night for our age group. You have to be fifteen or sixteen to get in.’
‘They might not serve it but someone will bring some. I wasn’t born yesterday. And it’s a school night too. What time did you say it finished? Eleven thirty?’
‘Yes, but Vicky’s dad is going to collect us,’ Sophie adds quickly.
‘You won’t be home until midnight. It’s too late.’ Her mum shakes her head and moves to her bedroom with another pile of washing, Sophie following close behind.
‘Please, Mum. Please.’ Sophie clasps her handstogether and feels the tears welling in her eyes. ‘It’s really important.’
‘I’m sorry, Sophie. I know you want to go, but it’s not the end of the world.’
Panic pulls at Sophie’s chest. She has to go to the disco. Flick and Vicky are going and if she doesn’t go they’ll probably ditch her completely. She knows they’ve been hanging out together when she’s not been there, which is totally unfair because she and Vicky were friends before Flick came along. And Reece is going to the disco too. He told Graham, who told Vicky, who told Sophie, that he thinks Sophie is fit. But Sophie knows Flick likes Reece too, and if Sophie isn’t at the disco then Reece will definitely get off with Flick instead.
Her mum sighs and sits on the bed. ‘Look, it isn’t just that I don’t think you’re old enough, or that it’s too late, it’s Matthew. I need you to watch him on Thursday because I’m going out for dinner with Trevor. I’m meeting his children for the first time.’
Trevor. Why is everything suddenly about Trevor? Sophie wants to scream. Her mum only started dating him a few months ago and now he’s here every weekend, taking them out to the park and acting like he’s their dad.
‘So what Trevor wants is more important than me now?’ Sophie huffs, knowing she’s being unfair but saying it anyway.
‘No, that’s not true at all. And I really don’t understand what you’ve got against Trevor. He has been nothing but nice to you and Matthew. Only last month he gave you both cameras from the old stock in his shop. He didn’t have to do that. He could’ve sold them instead.
‘Trevor is the first man that I have met since your dad left four years ago, and I think it’s OK for me to want to be happy. Your father certainly didn’t waste anytime seeing those trollops from the pub.’
But Dad didn’t make us spend time with his girlfriends, Sophie thinks, with a stab of bitterness.
‘Trevor has invited us all for Sunday lunch, too,’ her mum continues. ‘He’s cooking roast lamb, and I want you to be nice to him. He has a lovely big house in a much nicer road than this one, and you might as well know that he’s asked me if we’d all like to come live with him.’
‘What? No way,’ Sophie cries out. ‘I’m not living with him. What about his own kids?’
‘They’re much older than you. They have their own houses. And please keep your voice down. I haven’t said anything to Matthew yet. I’m going to talk to him about it after Sunday’s lunch, so don’t tell him. Matthew is doing so well now and I think a change might do him good.’
‘If Matthew is doing so well then why can’t you get a babysitter for him or leave him on his own? He is twelve.’
‘You know why,’ her mum says, lowering her voice. ‘Matthew’s moods may have evened out, but he still needs us around him. I don’t want to introduce him to a total stranger at the moment.’
Sophie looks to the open doorway to check Matthew isn’t there.
‘But he’s not a little kid any more. When I was twelve I was at home by myself, looking after both of us.’
‘I know that.’ Her mum reaches out and squeezes Sophie’s hand. ‘You’re a good girl. I’m sorry you’ve had to grow up faster than you should’ve done. If yournan hadn’t passed away and your dad hadn’t left when he did then it would have been easier.’
He didn’t leave, you kicked him out, Sophie thinks, feeling annoyed at her mum for being so blind. Her dad isn’t perfect. He drinks a lot and burns the food he cooks for them, when he remembers to buy food and turn up to collect them, that is. But he’s stillherdad.
‘In a few years’ time you’ll be able to go out all the time,’ her mum says. ‘Right now I need you at home. Matthew needs you.’
