SATURDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 11TH
Iwoke up refreshed and relaxed. Bryson was holding me and kissing my shoulder. I turned in his arms and stared into his eyes. “Thank you for last night.”
“All you have to do is ask. My entire purpose is to please you. I love this space that we’ve been in the last few days.”
“So do I. We fell into a dark place for a while, and I know that it was my fault. But this right here feels like a safe place.”
“It wasn’t just your fault, baby. It was both of our faults. I never should have left you feeling devalued, and I should have heard your feelings. I should have taken the time to validate them, and maybe you would have made me your priority at that time.”
I caressed his face and kissed his lips. “I just wanted you to take my career as seriously as you do your own. I mean, I know that you know that what I do is important, but it just felt like you believed I could step away at any given time and be at your beck and call.”
“I did expect that, and it wasn’t fair to you.”
“Do you think that we can maintain this comfortable, safe space after we return?”
He sighed. “I do. But I also believe that it will take work. It won’t always be easy, but I believe with transparency, frequent communication, and being able to be vulnerable with each other, we can maintain a safe space.”
“Speaking of vulnerability, we never got to discuss what took place between us yesterday. I wanted first to say, thank you for being vulnerable with me and trusting me to please you in a new, but meaningful way.”
“You do realize that you fucked my head up with that shit. I still don’t get why that turned me on so much.”
“It doesn’t say anything about your masculinity. I know most people assume that if a man is turned on by someone touching his ass or coming close to it, that means he’s gay, but it honestly doesn’t.”
“I know like hell it doesn’t.”
“Would you like to know what it means?” I asked, looping my leg over his left thigh.
“I mean, if you’re in the business of educating a nigga about something foreign that’s happening in his body, I’m all ears. Just don’t get comfortable with the idea of doing it again.”
I smiled and kissed his lips. “Boy, you know you loved that kinky shit I did to you. Basically, all I was doing was stimulating your prostate from outside of your body. It enhanced the blood flow and caused you to experience a stronger erection than you usually do. Your prostatic fluid was drawn into the prostate and signaled to your sperm that it needed to move. That caused your body to get ready to release.”
“You can explain it a thousand times or more, and I’m not certain that I’ll ever be comfortable with it.”
“I think you would be if you were honest with yourself. Let’s explore that. Why aren’t you comfortable? Are you scared that it says something about your sexuality?”
“Not at all. I’m comfortable with the man that I am. I have no questions about my sexuality, but if that shit were to get out, I would be concerned about what others might think. Make no mistake about it, I’m just as dangerous in the streets as I am in the courtroom, but I also don’t want nan nigga trying me.”
“I doubt they would, sweetheart.”
I kissed him again, and my stomach growled.
“Think we need to do something about that shit, while you’re up in here worrying about my ass.”
I giggled and climbed out of the bed just as he threw a pillow and hit me in the back.
“Get up and get dressed so we can get breakfast, please.”
He laughed, and we got dressed in record time to head to the B&B. Bryson’s phone rang before we left the cabin, and he answered it. He grabbed my hand as we headed out the door and up the walking trail. I took my time to marvel at the beautiful red and gold leaves that were in abundance up here and inhale the crisp mountain air coming off the lake. I couldn’t wait to get back to that lake. I didn’t understand it, but it felt as though I had a connection to it, as though something was calling to me from down there. Whenever I was there, I felt peace, humble, and whole. There was a serenity there that I had never experienced.
“Yeah, . . . I’m well aware of the stipulations for his release, as was he. I impressed upon him the importance of staying away from her.”
He listened as we continued to walk. From where we were, I could smell the heavy aroma of maple and cinnamon in the air, and I knew that it was coming down from the B&B. I couldn’t wait to get breakfast.
Bryson lifted our knuckles to his lips and kissed them before he lowered them and snapped on someone on the other end of the call.
“I’m not in town, and I cannot make it there. He’s gonna have to sit his ass in jail until I return. He knew what the fuck time it was. What made him violate the terms of his bond? You both knew the risk of his bond being revoked if he didn’t adhere to those terms.”
Bryson stopped walking and held up a finger for me to wait. I thought about the waterfalls that weren’t too far away, according to one of the staff members up at the B&B. I hoped that Bryson and I could check it out later in the afternoon since we didn’t have any plans. When my attention returned to his conversation, I second-guessed that theory.
