"But it did. What does that mean?"
Milo leans forward, his expression growing more serious than I've seen it in a while. His green eyes lose some of their usual sparkle, replaced with genuine concern. "No idea. That kind of power shouldn't be something we are able to wield. Which makes this really confusing."
My head is full of thoughts and chaos, questions swirling around that would make even less sense if I asked them. Each answer they give me only leads to more questions and more uncertainty. I'm not human anymore, but I'm not fully dead either. I'm stuck in this weird in-between, this liminal space where the rules don't seem to apply. And I have no idea what that means for me, for us, for any of this.
I take a deep breath, trying to center myself, and force a smile onto my face. I need a break from all of this, from the heavy conversations and the impossible choices. "Hey, how about that movie?"
Vesper snorts, the sound affectionate rather than mocking, and his hand comes up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers linger against my cheek for a moment. "You don'thave to rush into all of it, princess. However, I think Duske is going to unintentionally scare you away with all the darkness talk, but it's your choice, alright? And I'm hoping you choose us."
I meet his gaze, my heart clenching at the vulnerability in his eyes. Vesper, who's always so confident, so sure of himself, looks almost uncertain. Like he's genuinely worried I might walk away. "I already chose you guys. I chose you a long time ago."
Vesper's expression softens, the tension in his shoulders easing, the Alpha sitting up to press a gentle kiss to my lips. It's different from the heated, desperate kisses we shared earlier. This one is more tender, like he's trying to convey everything he can't put into words. I melt into him, my hand coming up to cup his cheek as I kiss him back, savoring the moment.
When we pull apart, my chest is warm and full despite all the uncertainty swirling around us. Milo is watching us with that quirky grin of his, his green eyes sparkling with mischief and something softer, something that looks like relief.
"So, movie?" he asks, his teases, clearly trying to bring some levity back into the room. "What movie do you want to watch?" Milo asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
I shrug, my gaze drifting toward the stairs despite my best efforts to focus on the present moment. "I don't know. You pick."
Milo grins, his enthusiasm returning as he selects something that looks like a cheesy action movie. The opening credits start to roll, all dramatic music and explosions, but I'm not paying attention. My mind is still on Duske, on the way he looked at me before he left, on the darkness that swirled around him like a living thing. On the pain I saw flickering in his eyes.
Vesper's hand squeezes my shoulder gently, pulling me back to the present, and I glance up at him. "He'll be okay. He just needs some time to process."
I nod, leaning into him and letting his steady presence ground me. "I know. I just… I don't like seeing him upset."
Vesper's lips curve into a small smile, sad but gentle. "He's not upset, princess. He's just trying to protect you."
I frown, my brows furrowing as I try to understand. "Protect me from what?"
Vesper's gaze shifts to the stairs, and there's something heavy in his expression, something weighted with knowledge and history I don't have access to. "From himself."
I open my mouth to respond, but the words die in my throat. Because suddenly, I understand. Duske is scared of what he is, of what he represents. He's Death, the Grim Reaper, the one who guides souls to the other side. And he's afraid that his darkness will hurt me, that it will corrupt me somehow, that it will drive me away. He's afraid that what he is will be too much for me to handle.
But he doesn't understand that I'm not afraid of him. I'm not afraid of any of them.
I settle back against Vesper, trying to focus on the movie playing on the screen, but my gaze keeps drifting upward. My mind is still upstairs, still with Duske. And I know that sooner or later, probably sooner, I'm going to have to go up there and face him. Because I need him to understand that I'm not going anywhere. That his darkness doesn't scare me. That I want all of him, not just the parts he thinks are acceptable.
Not now, not ever.
Chapter 10
Duske
I try to focus on packing up more of Esme’s room, my hands moving mechanically as I fold clothes and place them into boxes. I need something to do, something to keep my mind occupied before the darkness consumes me entirely. But then my gaze falls on the mess of sheets and the bed, and I freeze.
Her scent is everywhere in this room, coating every last corner like a blanket I can't escape. Vanilla and honey, sweet and intoxicating, wrapping around me and pulling at something deep inside my chest. It's stronger than before, richer even, and it does nothing to keep the darkness away. In fact, it makes it worse.
I've been doing so good, reining that power in, keeping it locked behind walls I've spent centuries building. But now that my body recognizes Esme as my mate, it's trying to assume the rightful position as her protector. And that means showing her who I truly am, what I truly am.
Death would terrify her.
I clench my fists, feeling the shadows in the corners of the room respond to my emotions. They stretch and writhe, eager to be released, but I force them back. I can't let her see this. Not yet. Not when she's already dealing with so much.
The worst part, the part I don't know how to explain to Esme, is that we can't really return her to her earthly body. The transition state is only temporary, a brief window where she exists between planes. If we could fuck with the rules like that, if we could just bring people back from the dead whenever we wanted, it would be disastrous for the balance of the planes. Heaven and Hell would collapse into chaos, and Fate would lose her grip on the threads that hold everything together.
But there's a way to keep her here, by our side at the very least. It's not perfect, and it's not what she deserves, but it's something. She'd be human-esque, able to live a mostly human life. But it would mean leaving everything she knows in this little city. She wouldn't be able to contact anyone who knew her, couldn't say hello or resume anything she used to do. She'd have to disappear completely, start over somewhere new, and I don't know if she'd be willing to do that.
I drag a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly as I try to steady myself. The weight of what I'm about to ask her sits heavy on my chest. To give up her entire life, her identity, everything she's ever known just to stay with us? It's selfish. But the alternative is losing her forever, and I can't accept that.
