“No way!”
“Way.Not since the eighteenth century, mind.”
“So, Hardy went around borrowing places and names and only changing a letter here and there?Huh.And here was me thinking writers actually made up stuff.”
“Well, I s’pose they gotta get inspiration from somewhere.”
Zig pulled out his phone and took a couple of pics of the manor.Then he swung and took one of Si, who was leaning on the parapet of the bridge and gazing into the water.Si glanced up and smiled, and Zig caught it on camera with a twist in his gut that was half pleasure, half pain.“Any more book locations around here?”
Si scratched his beard.“Well, there are, but it’s a bit of a trek.We can do it another time.You gotta get back for work, and there’s one more place I wanted to take you today.”
“Yeah?What’s that— No, don’t tell me, it’s a surprise?”
Si grinned.“You’re learning.”
They retraced their steps to the bike and got on.Si headed more-or-less back the way they’d come, riding for around half an hour before he turned into a National Trust car park and stopped the bike.He pulled off his helmet, his hair and beard springing out and fluffing up in the breeze.
Zig followed suit and ran a self-conscious hand through his hair as they got off the bike.“What are we here for?”
“To see a bloke who was around in Thomas Hardy’s time.And maybe a few thousand years before that.”Si cocked his head towards a neighbouring hill.
As he did, a pale sunlight broke through the clouds, illuminating a massive line drawing carved into the chalk of the hillside.It showed a man with a raised club—and that wasn’t all that was erect, either.
Zig blinked.“You brought me here to show me a giant prehistoric dick pic.”
Si nodded solemnly.“Classy, that’s me.”
Zig cracked up.After the sombre thoughts Woolbridge Manor had roused, seeing a gigantic chalk carving with a massive stiffy seemed bloody hysterical.
“Thought the Cerne Abbas giant might cheer you up if all the Tess stuff got too depressing,” Si said with a smile.
“Not gonna lie, giant dicks have been known to have that effect.Course, they’re better in real life.”Zig cast a sidelong look at Si.
He got a raised eyebrow in return.“I ain’t getting mine out in public.For starters, it’s gotta look a bit small in comparison.Specially in this wind.”
“Eh, don’t sell yourself short.”From what Zig could remember very well indeed, Si didn’t have anything to worry about in that department.To cover all the weird mixed feelings that recollection stirred up, Zig jogged over to an information board.
Si followed him and read over his shoulder, his beard tickling Zig’s ear.“Says the giant’s 180 feet tall.So by my reckoning, that’s a 40-foot dick, give or take.And that, my lover, I cannot compete with.”
“Fair enough.”Zig leaned back into Si’s solid warmth, just a little, hoping Si might take the hint and put his arms around him.It wasn’t crazy to hope, was it?Zig had been in the West Country long enough to know that Si calling himmy lovermeant absolutely nothing, but he’d brought him here, hadn’t he?To see the world’s biggest dick pic, and if that wasn’t flirting, what the hell was?And that was after taking him to see Tess’s honeymoon hotel.
It had to mean something, didn’t it?
As he leaned back against Si, Zig’s stomach rumbled loudly, breaking the mood.
“C’mon,” Si said easily, stepping away from him.“Let’s go find some grub, yeah?”
With a twinge of regret for lost chances, Zig followed him back to the Harley, and they rode the short distance to the nearby village.
Cerne Abbas village was old and postcardy, with some proper ancient buildings.There was one that looked like the sort of place Shakespeare might have visited if he’d been out this way, all Tudor beams and mullioned windows.The pub in the centre of town looked almost brand-new by comparison, but it still had a thatched roof and stone walls that were disappearing below a thick coat of ivy.Inside, the low ceiling was crossed by black beams and a log fire blazed at one end, making the place warm and inviting.It was, of course, done up for Christmas, with a tree in the corner and tinsel round the specials board.Most of the specials had been wiped off—looked like the lunchtime trade had been brisk.
Now, a few groups of people still sat at tables, lingering over their drinks, but most of the lunch crowd had been and gone.The sign said food was served all day, though, so they were golden.
“You going to be all right for getting back if we eat here?”Si asked with a glance at the clock behind the bar.It was gone three.
“Yeah, no worries.I don’t have to be in until six this evening.Don’t wanna be late, though,” Zig added, to be clear.He wasn’t going to balls up his job on the second day.
“Course not.Nah, that’s good.Gives us some extra time.”
