“Stop freaking out. I’m fine.”
“Lex, this isn’t good—”
“My life hasn’t been good.” My voice is flat now. Empty. “This is nothing. I have no soul. My body barely matters because up here.” I tap my head. “Has gone mad. I’m not like Axel, I don’t need to snort my life away, I just detach. I can turn my emotions off, Thea. I’m tougher than I look.”
She stares at me for a long moment. Then she grabs my hand, squeezes tight.
“Are you a psychopath?” she whispers.
I sigh, a smile forcing it’s way on my face. I cover my face when laughter leaves my throat. “You know what I mean.”
She nods. “I’ve never lost my mom, but she chose to not see me, so I get it.”
I grab her hand. “I was blessed with both loss by death and loss by choice. It’s hard, and sometimes, it’s easier to just…” I turn the invisible key off at my temple and put it in my pocket. “Andthat’s why I can handle Koa. My brother, on the other hand, cannot simply do what I just said hence the drugs.”
“The drugs,” she says with me.
I nod and just stare at the wall and wonder how the fuck I’m going to survive my brother choosing drugs over me. Just like Mom. Just like Dad.
He doesn’t want to be saved.
I think about Mom. About the pills. About the night she died and how I couldn’t save her either.
You’re not Mom.
Axel’s words echo in my head.
He’s right.
I’m not.
But I’m all he has left.
And I’ll be damned if I let him destroy himself the same way she did.
12
Lexi
Iwake up to silence.
No texts. No calls. No notifications lighting up my phone screen.
It’s been three days since that night in the forest. Three days since Koa tied me to a tree and left me there, blind and terrified. Three days, and he hasn’t reached out once.
I tell myself I don’t care. Tell myself it’s better this way—less complicated, safer.
But there’s a knot in my stomach that says otherwise.
I roll over, grab my phone from the nightstand, and check again. Nothing from Axel.
My chest tightens.
I open my messages, type out a text to Axel.Can we talk?
I stare at it for a long moment. Then delete it without sending.
What’s the point? He’s made it clear he doesn’t want my help. Doesn’t want me.
