“Not going to stay over at Reed’s again?” Her brows raised in question. “I noticed you snuck back in late last night.”
“You did? I’m sorry. I tried not to wake anyone.”
She shrugged. “I was heading to the bathroom and noticed your light was on.”
“Yeah …” I trailed off, taking another drink to keep the words from spilling out.
“Did he explain why he had to leave the wedding?” she asked.
I sucked in a deep breath before exhaling. “He did.”
“Anything you want to share?”
“It’s complicated. Something I need to process on my own.”
Hazel nodded but didn’t press further. We both took a drink before she said, “I have to say, you two look good together. I think your dad is happy that you’re happy and that you found a man who will take good care of you. Whatever it is he told you, Reed does seem like he’s good people.”
“He is good people.” I sighed. “I don’t know. My dad would be lonely if I left him alone in the big house all by himself.”
Hazel shrugged, taking another sip of her drink before setting it down on the deck beside her. She leaned back on her hands, crossed her legs, and stared out across the ranch. “I think your dad would be just fine. He just wants to see the people he loves happy. And if Reed is what makes you happy, I think you should go for it.”
I cleared my throat and took a big gulp, letting the liquor hit. I’d already cried enough tears into my pillow last night. I didn’t need to cry any more.
“What makes you happy?” I asked her, hoping to steer the conversation away from Reed.
She sat there quietly for a moment, her head tipped to the side as she peered out into the distance, thinking. After a moment she said, “It’s taken me some time to find it again, but … taking care of the people I care about, my horse, and chocolate. Ilovechocolate.”
I giggled at that, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her in close. I laid my head on her shoulder. It felt so familiar. I’d done this exact thing with her too many times growing up. She almost always found me in a similar mood, as if she had a radar for this shit. She knew I needed someone to take care of me, and here she was, plying me with her very strong lemonade to ease the pain.
“I can get down with some chocolate,” I told her in agreement.
“What makesyouhappy?” she shot back.
“Of course you have to fucking turn my own question on me.” I rolled my eyes at her.
She laughed, her teeth flashing and her eyes sparkling. She looked like the Hazel I remembered. The Hazel who was our rodeo queen. Even though I knew she wasn’t that person anymore. Not after all the shit she went through—and was still going through.
I breathed in a big, steadying breath. “Barrel racing and riding fast with Mushu. But you know what? I think what makes me truly happy is just being with my people. Being with them at home on the ranch, around a bonfire, at a rodeo, or a bar. Wherever. I just want to be with my people where I’m understood and loved. When I don’t have to mask or try hard, and I get to be me—Lina—not just a girl trying to win a buckle or fight to be loved.”
It was true. Every time I was with those I loved, I was happy. Reed and Penn made me happy. They had become mypeople. I’d do anything for them. I’d do anything to protect that happiness.
Hazel nodded in acknowledgment. We sat in companionable silence for a while, sipping our lemonades, letting the alcohol dull the aches and taking in the sunset over the bluffs that led down to the river.
She released a heavy sigh beside me. “And this place. This makes me happy.”
I mirrored her sigh. “I couldn’t agree more. It’s my peace.”
After a beat she said, almost distantly, “You know, I haven’t been able to go near the bunkhouse. The stables are as close as I can get. I can’t even look that way when I walk by.”
“I get that. I don’t think I’d be able to, either.”
“Do you think it will eventually get easier?”
I rubbed her shoulder. “Time. At least that’s what I’ve heard. Time heals all wounds. We just need to give ourselves the space to do it.”
Now she was the one to put her head on my shoulder. “I’m going to miss you, Lina.”
“I’m going to miss you too, Haz.”
