She flashes me that wicked smile—the same one she always had when we were kids, right before she talked me into doing something guaranteed to get us in trouble with our parents.
“Last time we had a keep ‘em coming kinda day, I ended up with a tattoo,” I say, raising an eyebrow at Anna as the waiter walks away.
“And what a beautiful tattoo it is!” she huffs, arms crossed over her chest like she’s still defending her decision all these years later.
We each have the word ‘Promise’ inked on the side of our pinkies, a permanent reminder of the vows we made to each other long before adulthood tried to pull us apart.
We got them on my 21st birthday. Anna had turned 21 three months earlier and insisted we had to go all out for mine. And by “all out,” she meant bottomless margaritas, standing on sticky bar floors, and, of course, a spontaneous trip to a tiny tattoo shop down the street.
I can still hear her voice in my head, slurring slightly as she held up her pinky and said, “We’ve made so many pinky promises, Mari. What if we made one that never goes away?” It had sounded profound at the time, and maybe it still was.
The next morning, when my mom saw it, I thought she was going to blow a gasket. People are always surprised when I say she still expects me to ask for permission—even as a full-grown adult—but I just tell them it’s a Latiné mom thing. Besides, I know it’s just because she cares.
Anna tilts her head, watching me carefully now, her playful smirk softening into something gentler. I know that look. She’s debating whether to bring them up.
“So…” she begins, drawing out the word like she’s testing the waters.
A prickle of anxiety creeps up my spine.
“Do you want to talk about anything? Andrew? Your mom?”
My stomach twists.
Do I want to talk about them? No. Not particularly. Should I? Probably. But I don’t even know what to say. My heart is wrecked—so much has happened in such a short amount of time, and I have no idea how to get through any of it.
I exhale slowly. “Can the right answer be that I want to stay in bed and do nothing?”
Anna grins, leaning back against her chair. “Sure! But that’s not like you, so it would have a lot of people worried. Including me.”
She’s not wrong. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been on the go—always moving, always chasing the next thing, never letting anything hold me back.
But now, I wonder if I’ve just been running. Running from the past. Running from the things I don’t want to feel. Running so hard for so long that I never stopped to ask myself if I was actually getting anywhere. And right now? I just feel tired. So damn tired.
“True. I definitely don’t want to talk about Andrew, and honestly, I’m not really sure what to say about my mom.” I exhale, staring down at my hands. “A part of me knows this is real and happening, but another part of me is still in denial. And I’m so damn mad that she waited so long to tell me. But at the same time…I kind of get it. I don’t know. My feelings are a mess right now.”
Anna nods, her gaze steady, like she’s absorbing every word. “All of those feelings are completely fair and valid. You’ve gone through a lot in a very short amount of time. It makes sense that you’re feeling conflicted.” She pauses, like she’s choosing her words carefully. “But you know Lucia loves you so much. She’d do anything for you. I’m sure she just didn’t want to add to your pain.”
I sit up straighter, my chest tightening. A familiar frustration flares in me, and I part my lips, ready to argue—she has to stop trying to protect me from everything. But before I can get a word out, Anna lifts a single finger, stopping me in my tracks.
“I’m not saying what she did was right,” she says, eyes locked onto mine. “I’m also not saying what she did was wrong. If I were in her position, I honestly don’t know what I would have done. But I do know that she believes she did the right thing, even if you disagree. And while I think you should allow yourself to feel all of it—be angry, be sad, hell, schedule a full-on ugly cry—I also know you. You want to make every moment with her right now count. So let’s lean into that feeling. Let’s make these last moments special.”
I sit there quietly for a moment, letting her words settle over me. She’s right. I know she’s right. My mom has never done anything without the best of intentions—especially when it comes to me.
I swallow hard. “You’re right. You always know what I need to hear.”
Anna flashes me a grin, “I got you, girl. You can always count on me to get you back on track.” Her laughter is light, but the weight in my chest lingers.
“Anyway,” she says, shifting gears, “How did Josephine react when you told her you were moving back to Lake City?”
I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. “She was sad, of course. I feel bad that I left without giving her enough timeto find my replacement, but she understands. After losing my dad and then Andrew dying…she knows I need to be here with my mom. I’d never forgive myself if I stayed and something happened.”
I leaned back in my seat, unease settling in my stomach. Leaving Seattle was the right choice. The only choice.
Anna reaches across the table, squeezing my hand. “I get it, and I know you’re probably tired of me saying this, but…” she exhales, voice softening, “I am so sorry for everything you’re going through. I know there isn’t a single thing I can say to take away your pain, but please, please remember that I’m here. Don’t shut me out, and don’t try to handle everything on your own. Everyone in Lake City loves you and your mom. We want to help in any way we can.”
I nod, a small smile tugging at my lips. This place, these people, my home…Sometimes, I wonder why I even left Lake City in the first place. We’re a small town, but we love each other fiercely. When something happens, we show up.
Anna must sense my need for a change of subject because she launches into a story about her students. She’s a middle school teacher, which means she has an endless supply of ridiculous stories to keep me entertained. “One of my kids actually tried to convince me that a dog ate his homework,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Like, really, kid? That’s the best you got?”
