"Aren’t you?" His eyes darkened, something sharp cutting through the sadness. "Because that’s what this is, Mariana. You’re not just shutting me out, you’re running from me. From this. From us."
He stepped closer, and I felt the air shift between us, thick with unspoken words, with everything we were about to lose. "And for what?" His voice was raw. "Because you think it’s easier? Because you think if you push me away first, it won’t hurt as much if I leave?"
I flinched, because that was exactly what it was, and of course, Sebastian saw through me, like he always did, but it didn’t change anything; it simply couldn’t.
So I forced steel into my spine, into my voice, into every ounce of me that wanted to collapse. "It’s already done, Sebastian."
Sebastian sucked in a sharp breath, his whole body shaking with it, like he was trying to hold himself together but alreadyknew he was losing. "No." His voice fractured, breaking like glass beneath the weight of everything unsaid. "No, I’m not letting you do this."
He stepped forward, close enough that I could feel the heat of him, close enough that if I just reached out, I could hold on, but I didn’t, I couldn’t. I saw the exact moment he realized it.
His eyes searched mine, desperate, unguarded, wide open in a way I had never seen before. "Mariana, please don’t do this."
I couldn’t breathe, because this wasn’t just a plea, no… this was more than that, this was Sebastian fighting for his heart, for my heart, for us.
"I love you so damn much." His voice broke completely, a sound I had never heard from him before, something fragile, something final.
"You are it for me, Mariana. You are it. You have been since the moment we laid eyes on each other when we were kids." His chest was rising and falling too fast, his hands clenched like he was physically trying to keep himself from reaching for me. "Since the first time I saw you with that ridiculous pink bow in your hair, standing at the edge of the playground like you didn’t belong, like you weren’t the most beautiful fucking thing I had ever seen."
I clenched my jaw, but nothing could stop the fire from tearing through my chest.
"You have my whole damn heart, Mariana. All of it." His breath hitched, his fingers twitching at his sides like he was seconds away from losing whatever grip he had left. "You don’t need to run from this. You don’t need to run from me. I promise you don’t need to be afraid."
I squeezed my eyes shut. "Sebastian…”
"Look at me," he whispered.
I couldn’t, I couldn’t fucking look at him, because I know if I did, I would break.
"You can take all the time you need. I won’t pressure you. I won’t rush you. I will wait, Mariana. I’ll wait as long as it takes. I don’t care if it’s months, years—I’ll still be here. I’ll still want you. Just… don’t do this. Don’t shut me out."
My throat burned, my entire body screaming at me to stop this, to tell him I wanted him too, that I wanted everything he was offering me, but I didn’t stop it.
"Just don’t give up on me, Mariana." His voice wavered, breathless and broken. "Don’t give up on us."
I felt myself shaking, barely holding on, because God, he was breaking me too.
"Don’t you see? It’s always been yours, Mariana. My heart. My love. Every damn part of me." His voice dropped to a whisper, so wrecked, so full of shattered hope that I could barely stand it. "I don’t want anything else. I don’t need anything else. I don’t care if we go slow, if we don’t have it all figured out. I don’t care about anything except this, except you, except us."
Sebastian took a step closer, his breath shaky, his hands shaking, his whole fucking body trembling. "I just want you to take it."
Tears blurred my vision, my nails digging into my palms so hard I knew I’d leave marks, but I refused to let them fall.
Sebastian swallowed hard, his chest rising and falling like he was seconds away from breaking completely. "Please." His voice shook now, barely above a whisper. "Please just take it."
Finally, I let myself look at him, really look at him, at the way his entire body was trembling from the weight of it all. The way his eyes—his beautiful, brown, love-filled eyes—were pleading with me to just reach for him, to just let myself have this, to just believe that love didn’t always end in loss.
Admittedly, for a second, just one horrible second, I almost did. I felt every ounce of love, every piece of his heart he was offering me, and then, I broke it.
"I can’t." The words shattered the air between us.
Sebastian flinched, as if I had just physically struck him. My words had landed like a knife, twisting deep, cutting something open inside him that he couldn’t put back together.
I watched as his chest caved in, his breath stuttered, his entire body locked up like I had just ripped his heart straight from his ribs.
"You’re really doing this." His voice was so empty, like he was already trying to convince himself this was real.
I nodded, because I couldn’t trust myself to speak; I knew that if I spoke, I might beg him to stay.
