‘I know the place,’ he replies coolly.
Of course, I never tamed him. I don’t know why she thought it would be possible, for the devil cannot be turned with such ease. Even back then, he took one look at my page of notes, asked why I bothered writing so much and that was the beginning of the end. Although, the innocent eight-year-old me couldn’t have possibly imagined just how awful that end would be.
‘But not me?’ I keep pushing. ‘You don’t remember anything except me being “in your class for something”?’
I think it’s a perfectly sane, normal thing to ask. So, I have no idea why he’s staring at me like I have grown an extra head.
‘What are you doing?’ he asks, lowering his voice significantly.
I know he’s smart enough to pick up on context. I’ve experienced the unfortunate strength of his mind games first-hand. But I will not waste any further time explaining myself to someone who does not have the basic empathy to engage. It’s undignified and stupid, and, most importantly, another instance where he comes out the winner.
‘Just forget it,’ I hiss.
‘You’re angry with me.’ The corner of his lip twists into a smile that could launch a thousand deathly missiles.
I lie again. ‘No.’
He responds with a chuckle that activates my fight-or-fight-harder instincts. ‘You seem it.’
I take a deep breath, close my eyes and remind myself that I am not a person that would fare well in jail. I have spent years building everything on my way to success, and I will not allowhim and his stupid laugh to knock it down for me. But it’s so loud and so pressing, and bounces around my brain with so much vigour, that I can’t drown it out despite my best efforts.
‘Will you be quiet?’ I snap back louder than I intended. ‘You ruineverything.’
He shrugs. ‘I’m just standing here.’
‘Standing here and judging me when you should be paying attention,’ I reply.
‘I can’t multitask?’
‘This is important!’
‘Well, if it’s so important then maybe you should stop talking tome.’
‘Can you please go and stand next to literally anyone else?’
‘There she is– there’s Moany Maddy!’
I hear the triumph in his voice and time stops, trapping us both in it. Blood pounds in my ears as I turn to face him, my icy stare a contrast to his proud warmth.
‘What did you say?’ I hate how thin and weak my voice sounds.
‘Moany Maddy.’ He cocks one eyebrow. ‘I thought you might have grown out of her by now.’
He does remember me.
I lose all concept of space, time and all that surrounds me as my eyes narrow in on his face. There’s a challenge in his eyes, a dare almost.That’sthe guy that’s haunted my thoughts for over a decade.
‘Maddison!’ Oliver’s call breaks the moment and I turn to see everyone else, Evie included, looking my way expectantly.
‘Evie asked if you had any thoughts,’ Pippa says, the words squeezing through her incredibly false smile.
‘My personal thoughts?’ I ask.
‘Yes, your personal thoughts.’ Evie chuckles. ‘You’ve taken so many notes– what do they say?’
‘Oh, Maddison’s just like that– she always takes loads of notes!’ Pippa rushes to say, attempting to sweep me back under the rug. ‘She gives such detailed write-ups; it’s so helpful when Gus and I are getting stuck in.’
‘I love that! And I’d like to know what she’s thinking,’ Evie says, perfectly mimicking her sickly-sweet tone. ‘I am really keen to hear what plans you’ve got brewing, Maddison.’
