GIRLS. TODAY I HAVE REACHED A NEW LOW. ANYONE FREE?
Nudge 8
The Comment
‘Apanic attack?’ Raina asks.
‘A panic attack,’ I say over the café chatter around me. ‘My first one in years, right there, on the floor of the boardroom.’
She nods sympathetically. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine, it was fine.’ I shrug it off quickly. ‘What’s important is that Aiden Edwards has now seen me cry. And not just cry– ugly cry. While shaking uncontrollably. I’m never going to be able to live that down.’
‘I doubt he’ll bring it up. And, honestly? If he does, he’s a dick,’ Raina says.
‘A bigger dick than we already know he is!’ Kimi adds.
Raina frowns. ‘Let’s not be too harsh– he did just help her through a panic attack.’
‘Was he supposed to stand there and let her rot? That was the bare minimum. And let’s not forget that he kind of caused it,’ Kimi tuts.
Raina and Kimi, diamonds that they are, jumped to action the second I sounded sirens in the group chat. They nodded patiently over a crackly FaceTime as I spurted out the shaky series of events, masking their shock and worry to the best of their abilities. I am eternally grateful for the urgent response, but that has not stopped the ever-quickening beat of my heart.
‘He didn’t cause it. It wasn’t about what he said, I just. . .’ I trail off. I can’t do this. ‘This is mortifying,’ I groan.
Another person brushes past me on the way to pick up their drink, but I hardly register the feeling. My mind’s still in the boardroom, between Aiden’s arms as he coaxes me through the worst moment I’ve had in years.
‘He won’t mention it. No decent person would mention it,’ Raina says.
Kimi shrugs. ‘But he’s not a decent—’
‘Drop it for two minutes, Kimi! We don’t need petty, we need reason. And reason stands, he won’t talk.’ Raina’s voice is firm. ‘It’s all going to be OK, Mads– I promise. Now wipe your face off, get a falafel wrap and go back inside.’
And I know that she’s right. Aiden is many things, but I don’t believe he’d be one to lord that kind of thing over me. I keep her words with me all weekend, soothing my thoughts every time they get a little too frantic. I take them as far as they’ll go, all the way to work on Monday morning. He wouldn’t talk about it, he’s not that guy.
But then my desk phone rings the second I sit down, his name flashing across the screen, and I can feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.
‘Good morning, Aiden.’
There’s a small shake in my voice as I deliver the greeting, but not enough to pick up on if you didn’t care to.And he doesn’t care, I remind myself. He’s probably already forgotten Friday happened.
‘Checked your emails yet?’ he asks.
‘I just got in.’
‘Nice, so I get to hear your live reaction.’
There’s a slight teasing to his words that makes my stomach flip over and my breath catch under the weight of them. I crook the phone between my ear and neck as I frantically log in, my pulse pounding so hard it could solo on drums.
Friday got pretty heated and my episode gave him the perfect means of revenge. What if he emailed Evie and told her that it was too much for me– that I can’t handle overseeing something so big? And the sicko has chosen to stay on the line so he can hear me cry about it in real time. I should have expected nothing less. Raina was wrong and she owes me apology brownies.
‘Oh, my God,’ I gasp, as my screen jolts to life.
‘Welcome to Evie-land.’ Aiden is clearly amused.
When Evie said she was going to start riding us hard, she was severely underplaying it. My inbox sits at 147 from the weekend alone, more pinging in each second that I stay on the phone. The subjects range massively fromWhat about?andIdea!to slews of random calendar invites. She must have phoned in favours with every connection she has, because suddenly I’m booked in for site visits, canapé tastings and flower-arranging classes.
‘Is she always like this?’ I ask, speed-scanning my screen.
