A wave of cringe runs through my body from head to toe, chilling me to my core.
‘I was drunk,’ I say.
‘And it made you honest. I like honesty.’
He stops again, his thumb diverting from the patterns it was drawing on my cheek to gently circle the shape of my lips. I inhale deeply, lips parting almost on cue and willing him to move closer. He considers it briefly, before swallowing deeply and snapping back into focus.
‘So, here’s some honesty from me,’ he says, hand firmly in place. ‘You were wrong. I don’t remember when it was that you became more important to me than air, but I pushed it down further and further, and hoped it would disappear because I never thought I was or could ever be good enough for you.’
‘You don’t mean that,’ I whisper, searching for a trace of insincerity in his eyes.
He continues. ‘IbeggedEvie to let you run this project alone at first. I knew that if I spent this much time with you again, those feelings would come flooding back. Every day that you’ve been back in my life, my feelings for you just kept growing stronger. I love you, Maddison.’
There it is.
The four words I swore I’d never hear him say.I love you, Maddison.Just like that. Clear and honest, and all for me. It’s everything that I didn’t dare to let myself dream of as I struggled through my teen years next to him.
‘You’re awfully quiet,’ he says nervously.
I can’t help it; it’s all too much. He loves me. Aiden Edwards loves me.
But, after everything I’ve been through today, my brain has too much to process.
‘I quit this morning. Gave Pippa my letter of resignation in the car,’ I say, the words rushed.
‘You what? Maddison!’
He doesn’t get mad at the change of subject, or the fact I haven’t said I love him back. He’s too caught up in my happiness, grabbing my arms and squeezing them tight in triumph.
‘It was long overdue.’ I’m still in shock.
‘And perfect timing!’ He whirls me around, rejoicing. ‘I don’t know if you’ve chatted to Evie yet, but—’
‘I turned down the co-head position too,’ I say.
He halts instantly, my shaky words wiping the elated smile clean off his face. He drops his arms from their hold and goes to rub the back of his head in distress.
‘Maddison, what? I know the last month or so has been weird and we had the whole agreement and everything, but you have to know that I wouldn’t actually want you to turn down your dream job.’
I smile at his sincerity. ‘It’s not because of you, or the bet, or the last few weeks. It’s because of me.Forme. I need time to figure out who I am without deadlines, or structure. What I want outside of achieving rigid, unnecessary goals.’
‘And you told Evie that?’
‘I did. Earlier today. I had a whole rehearsed speech to ensure that I actually went through with it, and then I saw her face and forgot it all instantly,’ I say. ‘It didn’t help that I’d been crying over you like ten seconds before.’
‘Really?’ he asks, sinking back down onto the napkin chest.
‘Yeah, but, somehow, I managed to say something. And once I was done pouring my heart out to her, she laughed in my face.’
It’s his turn to do the same, apparently. His guffaw bounces off the glass, echoing around the walls and filling the space between us. I think back to that room, and how she flicked her hair behind her, looking down at me kindly with a puzzling yet deeply comforting smile.
‘Maddison, honey, I get where you’re coming from and I truly do love this journey for you,’ she said. ‘But you don’t have to blow up yourentirelife to figure out who you are and what you want to be. In fact, by the looks of it, you’ve done a lot of that work in the last few months without having to give upanything. It’s OK to want things. It’s OK to have goals. You just need to put less pressure on yourself to achieve them. From what you’ve said, the problem with your five-year-plan wasn’t the content at all, but rather the timeline.’
I snap my focus back to Aiden.
‘Sounds like Evie,’ he says. ‘She wants you on the team so badly, she was not taking no for an answer.’
‘You’re right– she did not. She told me to take three months. Spend some time with myself and figure things out before I join the team. Apparently, there’s this guy I’ll be heading the department with who’s pretty capable of managing until I start.I’m not so sure though. . . Don’t tell Evie, but he sounds kind of cocky. I don’t think I’ll like him much.’
