I will not.
Not in front of Gus and certainly not in front of Pippa.
Let’s breathe together. Copy me– in and out. Aiden’s voice sounds in my head, smooth, sure and steady.
I shut my eyes and obey it, remembering how it felt when his hands traced patterns on the back of my arm. Breath by breath I get slower, chest rising and falling to the command of the man occupying my thoughts. I lay one arm firmly on my desk, using the other to softly trace letters across the surface of my skin.A-I-D-E-NI spell out, slowly and surely, as I feel my lungs settle into their usual rhythm.
‘Maddison?’ Pippa asks. I pause the music and look up. ‘My report? It’s due later.’
I nod back at her, shaking off what almost was and diverting my attention back to my screen. The report will get done, but first I have bigger matters at hand.
I open up a new window, keying in the website and clickingpurchasebefore I can change my mind. He’ll complain, but, unfortunately, he has no choice. I need an escape and he is my only solution.
Bought a train ticket. See u this weekend x
I type, ending with a kiss for extra emphasis.
I mentally pack my bag for the rest of the day. It’s time for a break. Time to go back to university.
Nudge 33
The Escape
He’s standing at the station in a puffer coat despite the twenty-five-degree heat, scrolling through his phone with no awareness of his surroundings at all. But, regardless, my heart grows three sizes and I barrel towards him, enveloping him in a hug.
‘What the hell!’ Anton jumps out of his skin.
I don’t care. I keep squeezing despite his protest.
‘I’ve missed you,’ I sigh, feeling him finally give in.
He grunts, reluctantly hugging me back. ‘Missed you too.’
Anton called me the second he read my first text, convinced that it was some sort of practical joke.
‘It’s too spontaneous. You don’t do spontaneous,’ he said.
‘I need to get out of London and I miss you!’ I explained. ‘Do you have a spare bed? The same-day return was too expensive.’
Though he didn’t quite buy the relaxed attitude, he went along with it for my sake. However, I see him steal worried glances at me the whole bus ride to his flat.
His house is cleaner than I expected, which isn’t saying much considering my expectations stemmed from the state of his room at home. There’s a typical student-housing light layer of grime, but it’s not the dirt-riddled cesspit I assumed he would occupy.
‘Our sofa folds out into a bed!’ one of his flatmates says to me, excitedly leading me to it.
Her name is Jul, and I’ve seen her in his tagged photos and clicked through out of curiosity of her weird username. She seems nice enough, and, so far, is the only one who’s said more than a nervous ‘hi’ to Anton’s older sister.
‘We’ve been waiting for a chance to test it out!’ she continues, kneeling on a cushion as she reaches for the sofa’s lever.
After a brief struggle and some help from Anton, the two of them unfold the sofa to reveal a makeshift bed. It’s laden with crisp crumbs and old lint that has slipped through the cracks over time, but looks sturdy enough.
‘I can take this, and you can take my room,’ Anton says, catching my grimace as I eye the sofa.
‘Thanks, but this is fine!’ I look away before I see too much. Given the option of this sofa bed or the mysterious man-cave of my twenty-year-old student brother, I will take my chances on the dodgy sofa bed any day.
‘We’re going out tonight, if you wanna come!’ Jul says. ‘Some of my med friends are coming round for pre-drinks.’
‘I didn’t pack for a night out, but thank you,’ I say as politely as I can.
