“Hello.”
“Hey baby girl, how’s my big man doing?” My father was the first to speak.
“He’s good. We just woke up, so he’s getting his breakfast. How are you, Dad? Has anything been bothering you lately?” I countered. I wanted to keep all conversations on their household, not mine.
“I’m good and moving like a racehorse. I’m getting a garden started for your mama today. She wants some fresh veggies and fruits for the new year. The weather should be perfect for it today.”
“That’s good. I’ll know where to come and shop then,” I jested.
“Not here. Where’s your criminal?” he questioned. It took him no time to get on Black this time.
“Where’s Mama?”
“She’s sleeping. She had a headache last night and needed extra rest. Don’t avoid me, Cheyonne,” he snapped.
“Bye Dad. We love you.” The phone was hung up, put on DND, then thrown to the side without hesitation.
He was so argumentative lately, and I didn’t understand why. I wasn’t about to deal with it though. My line could steer clear of any and everyone. I had my son and his father beside me, that was all I needed.
Black walked back in with clean pumps, a glass of apple juice, and some avocado toast with scrambled eggs to the side. The smell of the meal caused my stomach to rumble. It was only seven in the morning and he’d taken care of our son and fixed breakfast. I would shout on any mountain that this wasn’t the monster they painted him out to be.
“He aight?” he asked watching him intensely.
“He’s fine. Is that for me?” I threw a nod to the plate in his hand.
“Yeah. It’s something slight until Nesh get here. She bringing a platter for you.”
“Thank you. Have you eaten anything yet?” I inquired taking the plate from him. I couldn’t wait to stuff my face.
“Yeah. I ate a few hours ago. I’m straight for now. You need something else?” His voice wasn’t rowdy in the slightest. This man had become a teddy bear for us, and I was lowkey trying to figure out how long it would last.
“I need you to sit, so we can have that talk you promised we’d have later. It’s later Black, and I need clarity on a lot of things.”
Nodding, he placed my drink on the nightstand and walked around to his side of the bed. He got in and got comfortable next to us. He was so close I could smell the mint on his breath.
“I only got one question for you, Brat. Why you fuck me that night then call them boys on me? I was leaving and you know it. You ain’t have to do me like that.” He came in hard with his straightforwardness.
“Like that, huh?”
“Straight like that. I ain’t got time for games, Brat. You had me nuttin’ in that gushy ass pussy all night and the first chance you got, you called them blues. I couldn’t even get a fuckin’ nap in, Brat. Then, you get to barking when the muthafuckas ain’t even pull yo’ chain. You disappointed me, Ma.”
Sad thing about this entire thing, I saw the disappointment and now I was hearing it. That look haunted me for nights on end. I couldn’t function some days from that night playing on a loop the way it did. I dealt with the regret so all that was left was him to extend forgiveness. I had our son as an apology in a way.
It was time to be honest with him and myself. “The news said the guard was shot and in ICU. I assumed it was you because you had the diamonds, the guns, and the need to get away. You getting off the diamonds with Zeus really didn’t bother me. I don’t know if I was really scared of you anymore at that point. What I did know and was certain on was you facing the consequences for hurting that innocent man. I couldn’t just let you leave. The only thing I had to keep you here longer was sex. I used what I had to get what I wanted.”
“I stayed another day for you. I stayed to make sure you were good before I left yo’ ass hanging. It’s fucked up how you did me, and even then, I couldn’t shake you. I thought about you every day in that bitch. I ain’t never been attached to no broad outside my mama. This weird ass shit between us got a hold on me,” he confessed.
“Black, I’m sorry. I really am, and I’ve regretted it ever since it happened. I thought I was doing the right thing. When I found out about Maaz, I was already four months and in too deep. I wastorn on what to do but Royce really convinced me to go through with it. He assured me protection, and I figured if I couldn’t have you then second best was your family. He stepped in as a brother would and been there ever since.”
“Tuh, that nigga really know no bounds. He pressured you to give him our name, too?” I thought he would’ve breezed over the name, but it stuck with him.
“No, that was all me. Having him is me asking for your forgiveness in a way. Will you give it to me?” All I wanted was that and I’d be content.
Maaz had finished eating and was ready to be burped. Black took him from me and began to pat his back gently. We were having a raw ass conversation, but he was still attentive when it came to our son. That was the most attractive thing about him. I loved how he loved him and always kept him as a priority.
“I forgave you a long time ago, Brat. I knew you was just doing what you had to, to survive.”
“So where do we go from here? Are we starting over and building a family or what? I can’t really move on without knowing. Playing house ain’t my thing,” I said hinting at the fact that, that was exactly what we’d been doing since I came home from the hospital.
