I didn’t give a fuck what everybody else saw in him or the kind of man they received. Grace? Yeah, I’d beat my own ass if I ever gave that nigga anything but an ass whooping. He wasn’t there and now that I’m grown the only thing he needed to be doing was steering clear of me. Royce was the oldest, so he got Senior before I did but why was my portion of him twenty-three years late. I ain’t respect none of that shit. Pussy nigga could roll over and die for all I gave a fuck.
Adele didn’t miss a year on telling me how much of a dog Senior was. Hell, it was times I sneaked and called him just to see if he’d answer, and not once did he even attempt to pick up the phone. I’d damn sure hit back the number that called everyso often to see what was up. He paid us no mind. My mama told me all about Iris wanting me chopped and screwed so if ignoring us made his bitch happy, keep up the act. We ain’t need shit from him, me specifically.
“I done said it twice, it won’t be a third. If you said all you had to say, I’m ‘bout to go back to my cell.” I was over the bullshit and these side ass conversations he be having with that nigga.Stop fuckin’ talking ‘bout me to that bitch ass.
“I ain’t gon’ keep you. Check your books for real. I’ll check in when I can.” He stood and walked out.
The CO stepped in ready to grab me. I stood when he said, “Hold on. You got another visitor. It’ll be in the visiting hall though. You accepting it, or no?”
“Might as well. I ain’t got nobody showing love for real anyway. A nigga can only imagine who the fuck it is.” I wanted to believe Adele got her shit together and showed up, but I wasn’t ‘bout to be hopeful with a muthafucka that could be selfish at times, too.
I was escorted to another area of the building I ain’t never been before. The spacious room consisted of plenty round tables that sat with distance between them. There were other inmates already seated waiting on their folk.
“Choose a table and sit quiet. Once your visitor steps in, remain seated, and keep the physical contact brief. Don’t try and get over doing anything out the way or we’ll have to cut it short. Understood?”
“You understood, big dawg,” I said nodding.
I sat patiently waiting on my name to be called. When it was, my focus shifted to the door where everyone was entering. Seeing that it was Adele, a nigga heart smiled.It took her long enough. She had me thinking she really ain’t have the time for me. Speaking on the phone was cool, but it wasn’t nothing like that in person shit.
The second she was in reach, she stretched her arms for a hug, causing me to look back at the CO that walked me in. He said brief contact but I ain’t know what the fuck that meant for real. Hell, this was my first time being locked the fuck up. All this shit was new to me. The CO nodded, and I quickly stepped up to hug her. I talked a lot of shit, but this was my mama. We went through enough to push shit to the side when it mattered.
“Dammit boy. You really stress me the fuck out some damn times. What they doing to you in here? You straight?” she asked looking me over from front to back. It lowkey felt good that she was treating me like a kid. It showed she cared.
“I’m straight, Ma.” I made it up in my mind to not mention money. That wasn’t shit but an argument waiting to happen. I ain’t need that right now.
Real talk, I missed my mama. Not seeing her face on a daily basis only made me realize how much of a staple she was in my life. She was still my rock whether we fussed and fought like cats and dogs at times. She was the person I depended on.
“Somebody bothering you in here? I know how it can be for young guys and old heads,” she said looking around the room.
“This ain’t a movie, Ma. That shit happens but its uncommon. Focus on the shit at hand. Like, answering why the hell you hit Senior up?” My entire mood switched and that smile I once carried was no longer visible.
There were minimal games I played, and that nigga wasn’t on the list at all. I indeed missed this woman, but she was moving reckless. Going to a nigga who ain’t did shit for us like we were that desperate still had me hot.
“I didn’t have the money to get you an attorney, Black. I did what I had to, to try and get you out of here. What else did you want me to do?” she snapped. She had the nerve to carry an attitude like I was the one shitting on her.
“What you do with the bread Twenty-One brought to the crib? When a nigga called you three fuckin’ days had passed. You spent over fifty gees in a course of seventy-two hours like it wasn’t shit. Explain to me how the fuck you do that?”
I was trying my hardest not to get loud and lose control. Being in here lowkey brought a calmness, but she was pushing me back to my ways. I was seconds away from showing my ass in this muthafucka. She knew it, too. She shifted in her seat scanning the room once more as if she was looking for someone to call on for help.
“Well, I had to pay the bills for one,” she lied.
“I pay the bills in that muthafucka so lie again.”
“And where are you right now? You ain’t paid a bill in five months. I had to do something,” she lied once more. At this point they were flying out her mouth like second nature.
“I paid them bills before I left because I knew the fuckin’ risk. My last ten bands were spent on the house and secondhand shit. Don’t play with me, Adele. You waking up a nigga that’s been sleep for months,” I warned her.
“Dammit Black. I went and treated myself to a few things. I didn’t think you would get yourself knocked. I went to Senior because I knew they had a lawyer. The charges them boys slapped on yo’ head wasn’t something I could help with, but he could. You damn right I went to him. He wants to speak to you by the way. I think you sh?—”
“You think I give a fuck ‘bout what that nigga want?” I said cutting her off. “I wanted him to be a father, and he chose not to so why the hell am I giving muthafuckas chances that ain’t never gave me one. You a gullible broad and you starting to piss me the fuck off with this dumb shit. Running to a nigga that said fuck you and yo’ son is crazy shit to me!”
“Atkins, calm down!” the CO shouted.
“It was either leave you in here to rot or get help. Yonnis Taylor is their family attorney, and he has an impeccable record. You needed that, Black. You are my son, and I’d rather turn to someone who has the means to get you back to me than let you sit. I did what was necessary,” Adele explained.
She wasn’t backing down, and I was proud that she was standing her ground. However, I was beyond pissed. None of that shit mattered to me at the moment. If she didn’t blow through money the way she did, she wouldn’t have to turn to her pussy ass baby daddy.
“You want to be seen by that nigga so fuckin’ bad it’s blowing a nigga for real. That nigga don’t love shit on this side so stop begging for it. Wake the fuck up, Adele,” I advised.
