“A night gown or something. They’re in the top drawer of the island in my closet. It really doesn’t matter which one. Oh,and you can stop acting like doing things for me isn’t what you signed up for as well. When you put a gun to my fuckin’ head and told me to come here, you were accepting whatever came after. Welcome to the after-party baby boy. Now, I would like to wash off yesterday’s bullshit if you don’t mind.”
That defeating smirk graced his lips once more as his tongue ran across the top row of his teeth. From that expression alone, I was getting called every name but a child of God. His eyes were softer than they were in the parking lot, but the coldness was still present as well.
I matched his shit talking but mine was out of fear. Being a good little girl would probably do me more harm than good, so why not go all out and give him what he gave me. If he decided to end me today, I stood up for myself and didn’t let him walk all over me like a doormat. Whenever he decided to leave, a memory of me would remain.
He headed in the direction I pointed when I mentioned my closet. Refusing to let any of my undergarments go, I stood there until he returned with what I requested. My red silk gown with the robe to match was placed on the sink.
“Watch how the fuck you talk to me, Brat. You forgetting I’m the nigga with the gun,” he threatened.
“I didn’t forget, Black. Trust me.”
He exited the same way he came this time leaving the door cracked. I pulled off my bra, then panties, before sitting on the shower bench. I was in so much pain that all I could do was cry. Bluffing in front of Black just to gain some kind of ground was insanity. My body was so sore that even the water hitting my skin was torture. What made it so bad was the rain setting was the gentlest mode the shower had. This episode was kicking my ass.
“You have got to calm down, Cheyonne. You’re too worked up and your body can’t even run off adrenaline right now. Calmdown and regroup. He’s not going to hurt you. He would’ve done it by now.”
I was trying to convince myself Black was just using me as a hideout, but I wasn’t really sure what he was here for. He was kicking it as if we had a random one-night stand and he wanted to get more before he dipped out. I was uncomfortable by how comfortable he was.
However, I couldn’t talk too much shit because he did everything I’d asked him to do without hesitation. Rude but kind. Verbally rough but physically gentle. His appearance screamed thugged out nigga but his actions toward me resembled a gentleman. It was so hard to detect what was real or fake with him because he made you feel like he meant everything he said but also was only saying it because he wasn’t filtered. Ultimately, he was somebody I could handle.
Reaching for my shampoo, I paced myself with washing my hair. I was extremely tired from the little movement I’d already done this morning. I moved on to the rest of my body section by section. I was sitting and could endure the pain a little better, but the fact still remained I was going through an episode and wouldn’t be alright until I was completely out of it.
As I washed up, a bright idea came to mind. I didn’t have my phone which meant answering for Nesh or my parents was out the question. Toneshia would visit me before they would and that was exactly what I needed. Then again, just because he was kind to me didn’t mean the same for her. It was either let her drop by and pray for the best or keep her safe and away from here until I was able to get him the fuck out of here.
Protect her, Cheyonne. She has a family, and you don’t.
I rinsed off good before standing and walking to the monitor to turn the shower off. One of the towels off the rack was grabbed and wrapped around my body while another was wrapped around my hair. Stepping out the marble enclosure, I headed forthe bench that sat between the shower and tub. I took a seat to catch my breath and energy. I needed to walk across the room to grab the gown Black brought in for me and it was going to take a lot of slow pacing to get there.
While I sat there, I dried off as best as I could. A silent prayer was sent up for God to walk with me. One step at a time and I was able to hold my balance, that was until Black entered the bathroom and had my walk come to a halt. I hadn’t put on any clothes yet and he was invading my private time.
“W-What are you doing in here, Black? I didn’t call you.” I was tripping over my words as if this man didn’t just help me undress to shower.
“So, you can wash yo’ ass, but I can’t wash mine? You selfish as fuck ain’t it? What? I need to put something on the water bill to use yo’ shit?”
“That’s not what I said. I asked what you were doing in here. I’m clearly still naked,” I said pulling the towel tighter around my body.
“What the fuck that got to do with me? Matter of fact, bring yo’ ass right back in this muthafucka and cop a squat. You called out to Alexa earlier to send twelve like a nigga couldn’t hear you. Maybe you’re under the impression that I’m some dumb ass nigga, but I assure you, I’m the smartest young nigga you’ll ever meet.”
Damn. I thought I was getting away with something, and I truly wasn’t. Now he was requesting me to join him in the shower as if I was someone he had relations with. I loved everything about a man’s canvas. It was one of the most enjoyable things God gave us women, but me and Black weren’t intimate in any shape or form. I didn’t need to see his personal and vice versa.
“What? I’m not about to watch you shower, Black. No, hell no,” I objected.
“You ain’t got a fuckin’ choice, Brat. You had one time to have freedom, and you abused it. Now I got to watch yo’ sneaky ass like a fuckin’ child. You too old to be baby sat. Let’s go. A nigga balls sweaty and shit. Oh, I hope you don’t mind me wearing some of yo’ shit. I saw some sweats in there.”
At least he’s hygienic.
“I’m not watching you, Black, and that’s final.”
He sat his gun on the sink, and I instantly froze up. “You up in age so maybe you hard of hearing. Let me slow down and speak up so you can understand a nigga. Get… yo’… fuck… ass… in… the… goddamn… shower, Brat!”
With the tone of his voice elevating, I jumped back before looking to the floor. He yelled at me once or twice already, but this time was sterner. He wasn’t joking around or giving me an option to reject his request. It was either get back in or reap the consequences of refusal.
I went to undo the towel when he stopped me. “I never said take that off. Just get yo’ ass back in there and don’t turn the overhead shit on.”
Nodding, I walked back over to the shower and turned it on for him. My showerheads were bars that stuck out from the wall. My shower was big enough for four to wash comfortably. The mode set for him was pulse since there was nothing physically wrong with him. It was a mode I used often.
I found myself back on the shower bench unsure of what to do next. I wasn’t mentally prepared to sit and watch this man do anything but get the hell out of my house. He allowed me privacy but didn’t mind sharing his with me. My focus was back to the floor as soon as he entered the shower. This was a different type of fear that coursed through my veins. Being afraid of liking what I saw could possibly change the dynamics of the situation. I didn’t want to take that risk.
My head stayed down while suds trailed to the drains. He’d began washing and my curiosity grew by the second. He’d been the only man to enter my space as well as allow me to enter his unapologetically. When he touched me, there wasn’t an ounce of roughness in sight.
