I didn’t ask what “more” meant. I’m fifteen. I know what it means.
She shook her head and told me she said no and stopped kissing him.
She said he was cool about it — joked that he’d come warm her up when he visited Ithaca, which made both of us say “eww” at the same time.
But then she just looked so sad and said, “Is that all boys will ever want?”
How would I know? The only boy who ever sort of flirted with me did it by launching a grape into my soda.
Then she said something I’ll never forget: “I want someone to actually like me. Like, for real.”
And that’s when I realized Tessa—who is sparkly and makes the world spin faster—might be lonelier than any of us. She’s the girl everyone looks at, but maybe no one really sees.
She laid down a minute ago. Turned toward the wall. I heard her sniff—just once—like she was trying to bury it in the pillow. I pretended to be asleep. But I felt something weird happen in my chest.
Because I always thought girls like Tessa didn’t cry. Guess they do.
Love,
Viv
The house was too quiet when Tessa padded barefoot into the kitchen late Friday morning, hair still damp from her shower after a long run on the beach.
Where was everyone? Tessa reached for a banana, then put it back. She wasn’t hungry. She was restless. And ready to go.
She glanced at the time. Just past noon. Lorna had texted a message that morning that she had a very promising house to show her after lunch.
Justher. No word about Dusty. She hadn’t heard from him since a late-night call a few nights ago, when he’d said something vague about having “a lot on his plate.”
With a grunt, Tessa faced the fact that she didn’t want to go alone. House-hunting was a two-opinion job.
Grabbing her phone, she texted Kate. No doubt her sister was somewhere with Eli. But she’d try to lure her anyway.
Tessa:Got time for a secret errand? Meet me in the driveway in ten.
A minute later, her phone chirped.
Kate:I’m downstairs putting Atlas to sleep. Be up in five. Do I need bail money or just good shoes?
Tessa smiled, happy for the company, even if it meant coming clean with the secret she’d kept for several weeks.
True to her word, Kate came up and, in a few minutes, the two of them were climbing into Tessa’s sedan with plenty of time to make the house appointment. Next to her, Kate fished out her prescription sunglasses.
“I love that you don’t even ask where we’re going,” Tessa joked as she hit the ignition.
“Please. I wanted the distraction. I was feeling sorry for myself.”
“Why? Where’s Eli?” Tessa asked.
Kate buckled her seatbelt. “He stuck in the office with Meredith. Said something about how busy they are. He was terribly vague and had already bugged me once this morning.”
“He bugged you? Eli?” Tessa frowned. “I didn’t know he was capable of bugging anyone but Vivien when we were thirteen years old.”
“Oh, you know. He got…Bible-y.”
“Bible-y?” Tessa laughed. “What does that mean? He parted the Red Sea? A live re-enactment of the Prodigal Son?”
She sighed, clearly not appreciating Tessa’s humor. “He just was distracted. When I came into the kitchen this morning, his Bible—or his late wife’s, I think—was open on the counter. He must have been reading it in the middle of the night.”
