Adeline laughed derisively. She picked up the wine bottle, remembered it was drugged, put it back down. “That’s not your job.”
“Oh,” Tian said, in the same tone Adeline had used earlier. “What is my job, then?”
“The thing that makes you special is that you are aconduit. The rest of us exist because you exist. We just put a pillow over that man’s head and cut out an entire line forever. Yourjobis tostay alive.”
Her voice came out higher-pitched than she’d intended, and Tian was silent for a while after it. “I scared you that night.”
“You didn’t.” But Adeline was embarrassed now and angry about it. She shook out Iron Eye’s wallet. Coins clinked across the floor. No doubt Charles had already gone through it and taken the bills. Adeline shook it again, harder, for good measure. The last few coins fell and rolled under the desk.
The clattering died out and then some before Tian spoke again. “I’m sorry about that night. I didn’t think I had another choice, but I am sorry I put you through that, and I’m sorry I scared you. You shouldn’t have had to do that for me. Or for anyone,” she added. “But I’m probably the only one stupid enough to try.”
Adeline raised her eyebrows, unwrapping the pieces of gum and tossing scrunched balls of foil and gum onto the floor.
“You want to know the other reason I went to block the goddess out?” Tian blurted. “I was afraid that all this was her moving us into place. Mun was right—I can feel the goddess want things. Sometimes I don’t know what’s mine and what’s hers. I didn’t want you to be in danger just because she pushed you there. And I liked you too much for it not to be real.”
Adeline turned abruptly. “You could have just asked instead of getting yourself killed. I have been obsessed with you since the night at the White Orchid. Before my mom died and before I had anything to do with the goddess. I could have told you that if you just asked me.”
Tian’s expression was unreadable. “I’m sorry I scared you,” she said again.
Adeline snapped her fingers, sparking them out and watching the way the flames danced on her nails. “What else?”
“Are you just going to make me apologize all night?”
“Maybe,” Adeline said, to be contrarian, and flicked her eyes over for a reaction.
After a beat Tian slid off the chair and came over, careful enough to be stopped. When there was no reaction, she came close enough to put Adeline between her and the desk. The light darting of her eyes said she was still looking for permission, but she was enjoying something of it now, her mouth twitching. “If you tell me what I’m sorry for, I’ll say it.”
Adeline’s chin lifted. “You can figure it out.”
In response Tian leaned in to watch Adeline’s chin tilt a little more, no pretense at irritation now. Her eyes drifted downward again. “You should be sorry for wearing that.”
“Don’t make this about me.”
Tian did kiss her then, punishingly slowly, pulling away Adeline’s hands from any attempts to speed things up. “I’m still thinking,” shesaid against Adeline’s mouth, when Adeline started squirming. “Be patient.”
Adeline could have kicked her. “Think faster.” Tian was grinning now. She conceded by slipping her hands under Adeline’s hips and nudging her up onto the desk itself, settling casually between her legs.
“What was that about my teeth?”
Adeline’s response was to nip her on the lip, show herteeth. Tian’s eyes flashed bright enough to be yellow, and Adeline was tempted to do it again. Instead she said, “If you do that to me again I’ll blow your bike up.” Tian looked like something was funny. Adeline shoved her on the shoulder. “Do you understand?”
“Yeah,” Tian said hoarsely. “Got it.”
Adeline decided this was adequate. She tangled her hands in Tian’s buttons and kissed her until Tian was flushed enough to make Adeline feel wicked. She was a sight like this, hair mussed, shirt half untucked and half undone, lipstick on her mouth like a fresh bruise. Sure, Adeline decided, hands up Tian’s shirt and tracing her ribs, enjoying the way she fluttered every time Adeline found a sensitive spot; she could forgive her now.
When she tried to pull her back in by the belt loops Tian resisted, thumbs rubbing reluctant circles on Adeline’s hips. “Christina’s waiting for us.”
“You don’t seem to be going anywhere.” Adeline paused, giving Tian a chance. When she didn’t move, Adeline smiled and ran her nail along the underside of the bandage still wrapped around Tian’s torso, eliciting a delicious shudder. It wasn’t the most pleasant reminder, but there was something heady about this evidence of her vulnerability.
Adeline wanted quite a lot of things now and didn’t intend on leaving until she got them. Tian seemed wordless. Adeline decided she quite liked it. She nudged Tian with a foot. “We better hurry up, then.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVEHOUSE OF THE BLACKHILL
“Are you,” Christina said at breakfast the next morning, dropping two English newspapers in front of Tian and Adeline with a flourish, “fully committed to the lesbian cause?”
“What?” Tian reached around Adeline, who was on her lap. Adeline scanned the stories, which each took up entire pages. The line Christina had paraphrased was blazed across the second page, but the first had an illustration titled “The Outsiders,” of two girls stretched out cheek to cheek on a pillow, hands clasped over their heads.
“Today and yesterday’s,” Christina said. “There’s supposed to be more tomorrow.”
