Adam doesn’t hesitate.He scoops me up, lifting me like I weigh nothing, carrying me across the dew-kissed grass.My face presses into the curve of his neck, the steady beat of his heart thudding beneath my cheek and grounding me.And I let go.I cry into him, my fists clenching his shirt, his warmth the only thing tethering me to earth.
By the time the tears run dry, we’re in his truck.The engine’s off, and the cab is quiet.The world outside is waking, but in here it’s just us, wrapped in silence.
Adam tilts my chin up with his fingers, his eyes stormy but soft.“I hate that I can’t fix this for you.”
“I’m not a project,” I whisper, my voice raw and my throat aching.
His jaw tightens, his gaze scorching mine.“No, Lennie.You’re not a fucking project.You’re just ...you’re everything.”
The words hit harder than they should.Harder than I want them to.Because I wish they were true but Jacob proved they aren’t.I’m not anyone’s everything.I’m just Lenor.
Before I can tell him to keep his lies to himself, his mouth is on mine.It’s not tentative or gentle.It’s fire.It’s desperation.It’s a man pouring everything he can’t say into a kiss that makes my pulse race and my head spin.
And for a single, terrifying second, I kiss him back.God help me, I kiss the shit out of him.His tongue slides against mine, his hands holding me close, his chest solid beneath my palms.I sink into him, into the heat, into the taste of whiskey and want.And for a moment, it feels like safety.Like home.Before reality crashes in.
I shove him back, my breath ragged and my pulse hammering as I scramble to put some space between us.“What the hell, Adam?”
He reaches for me.“Len...”
“No!”My voice cracks, too loud in the small cab.I jump out of the truck and stand on the asphalt glaring at him.My hands are planted on my hips like they are some kind of armor.“You can’t just kiss me.Not now.Not when I’m...”My words choke.“...not when I’m breaking.”
His eyes burn, fury and something raw flashing there.“He didn’t deserve you, Lenor.He never did.You know it and so does everyone else.”
“And you do?”I demand, hating how my pulse stumbles under the weight of his stare.
His answer is quiet.“Probably not.But I want to be the man who does.”
The sincerity in his voice shatters something inside me.I can’t do this with him.Not here, not now.Not when the ground’s already crumbling beneath my feet.
I slam the cab door and walk away from him.The early morning air stings my damp cheeks as I stumble over the gravel.Behind me, Adam doesn’t move.I don’t look back.I can’t.
Because if I do, I’m afraid I’ll run straight into his arms and never leave.
Chapter One
The Vow I Shouldn’t Make ...Even To Myself
