I couldn’t look at him. If I did, my resolve would break, and I would stay. But I was mad, and this was just... “I have to.”
“You’re leaving me.”
“I’m just going to stay with Maverick.”
Beau barked out a laugh. “He’s going to convince you to leave me. Your brother hates me.”
“I’m not leaving you. I just need a minute to get my shit together,” I told him, and against my better judgement, I looked up. Beau looked absolutely heartbroken. “I love you. That hasn’t changed. And Mav doesn’t hate you.”
“Please, Dean,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
That would make two of us. “I know you are. I know you didn’t mean to upset me. I just need a few days to get my head together. That doesn’t mean we’re breaking up, or that I’m leaving you. Just let me do this, okay?”
“Will you call me?” Beau asked.
I nodded. “Of course.”
“And text?” He took a step toward me.
Suddenly leaving sounded like a terrible idea, but I knew I had to do. Maybe moving in with him had been too quick. Too sudden. “Yes.”
“I can’t convince you that this is a terrible, horrible idea, can I?” Beau reached for my hand.
I shook my head. “No, babe, you can’t. I have to do this. I just need to figure a few things out.”
“Will you marry me?” he whispered. I didn’t miss the tears that swam in his blue eyes. “Please? Say you will.”
My mouth dropped open. “You’re asking me to marry you? Now, after we just... Beau, you can’t be serious right now. This is not the place or time. We just had a huge fight, and I just told you that I need a few days to get my shit together.”
“I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Dean. Please, just... Just think about it. Don’t give me an answer. Just know that you’re all I want.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
My throat grew tight.You’re all I want, too, but those words wouldn’t come. Instead, I nodded and pushed past Beau to get out of the bedroom.
Chapter Fifty-One
Dean
The first mistake I made after leaving Boston was letting someone else touch my hair. I thought dying it pink was a great idea because, well, Beau called me pink, and I thought he would get a kick out of it. It wasn’t a good look for me. It washed out my skin, and I hated it. Sam was going to be so mad at me.
The second mistake was going with my brother to surprise his new best friend for Christmas. Ezra was... Wow. Extra. He was bright, loud, and very cuddly. Not that there was something wrong with that, but he kept touching me. Holding my hand. And he called everyone boo. Like all the time. Ezra was very nice. Overly nice, even. But he was a whirlwind of excitement, and by the time Christmas was over, I was exhausted. All of Mav’s new friends were great. Ezra’s friend, Seth. Ezra’s fiancé, Carson, the NASCAR driver. And his friends, Holt and Watson. And Andy’s boyfriend, Leo, and his brother, Noel, who was also a NASCAR driver. I was pretty sure something was going on with Wyatt and Noel, but I wasn’t sure yet.
Now we were all sitting around the house that Killian and Matthias had rented, nearly everyone coupled up, and I was regretting leaving my boyfriend behind. I knew it had to be done. I knew taking a step back from our relationship was a good idea, because it had made me realize just how much I loved him. I was furious at Beau for asking me to marry him the way he had. Who does that? And I missed Cole. I loved them both, and I wanted them in my life. Watching the way my brother fussed over Andywas enough to make me realize I wanted a child of my own, even if he was a broody seventeen-year-old who was going off to college next year.
“Like we all don’t know the two of you got married,” Jackson blurted out. “Matthias told the WAGs. Maverick keeps nothing from me.” He leaned his head back, and I watched as my brother combed his fingers through his curls.
My stomach dropped. Killian and Matty got married? And he didn’t tell me. That kind of felt worse than me not telling him about Beau.
Killian huffed as he narrowed his eyes. “Really, babe?”
“It just slipped out, Kill. Besides, I want to be able to call you my husband. Everyone else gets that.” He pouted as Killian leaned forward to kiss him.
“Like I could stay mad at you,” he murmured. He climbed to his feet to pull his phone from his pocket. “Merry Christmas, Josie.” He started to walk out of the room.
Everyone’s eyes immediately went to Matthias. “Josie?” Ezra asked.
“She’s a friend,” he assured us. “Don’t give me that look. I trust my husband. Finally! I can say that now.” A dreamy look appeared on his face, and even though I was upset, it was nice to see him so happy. He had waited a long time for Killian. They were so happy together.
Ezra leaned forward. “Who is she, though? You’re not worried that—”
