I shook my head. I didn’t like the turn this conversation had taken. Thinking about the fact that I could have been a father, that I should be, upset me. It was something I hadn’t gotten closure on yet.
“I’m sorry.” Beau’s voice was soft.
I stopped to face him again. “For what? That I was stupid enough to fall for my best friend’s sister, or that she got pregnant, and it ruined everything.” My eyes burned with tears. “I would have taken such good care of her and that baby. I would be a great dad, considering the asshole who raised me didn’t know how to be one, but the second it was over? Helena just changed. Decided that she didn’t want a relationship with me anymore. Thought we would be better off as friends. Wouldn’t talk to me about what could have been. I know it’s hard for a woman to deal with the death of a child.”
“You were grieving, too,” Beau murmured. And yeah, that was exactly it.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I needed her to help me go through the pain. I couldn’t talk to my bandmates or my brother. They all had their own shit they were dealing with.” I turned away as tears spilled down my cheeks. “Just give me a second,” I murmured.
Strong arms wrapped around me. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that alone,” Beau whispered again, and I couldn’t help but turn around to lean into his embrace. His hand combed through my hair. “I shouldn’t have made you talk about something that was going to upset you this much.”
I sniffed as I met his pale eyes. “It’s fine. My therapist gets me to cry at least once a week.” I choked out a laugh.
“Does it help?” Beau continued to stroke my hair. “Therapy, I mean.” His voice vibrated through his chest and against my face.
I pressed my face against his body as my arms circled around his waist. “It saved my life,” I confessed. “I think that if I hadn’t gone that route. If I had held everything inside and pushed it down, I might be dead.” Shit, I hadn’t meant to say that. No one knew about my depression. Not even Maverick or Killian.
Beau gasped just as there was a knock at the door. “That’s probably our food.” He untangled his arms to go check the peephole and then unlocked the door to let the hotel personnel inside.
I wiped at my cheeks as the cart was wheeled into the room, and Beau thanked the guy and handed him some cash for the tip. “Do you want me to help?”
“Help?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I mean with the bill and all. I’m perfectly capable of paying for my own meal. I have money, too.”
“Not tonight, you’re not. You get the next one.”
Chapter Four
Beau
Iwatched Dean pick at his food. I wasn’t sure if he was still upset about what he had told me or if he just wasn’t hungry. He nibbled on a fry, broke his chicken tender in half, then pushed everything around on his plate. He hadn’t even bothered with the ketchup or dipping sauces that sat on the tray. I still felt terrible about making him talk about Helena and the baby. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him about Trish and Cole, but I held back.
“Not what you wanted?” He glanced at me. “We can order something else if you’d like.”
Dean shook his head. “It’s fine.” He gave me a brief smile. “I guess it sounded good at the time, but not so much now.”
“Want some of mine?” I gestured toward the plate before me. “I can share.”
He blushed. “I’d rather just eat the cake. I have a bit of a sweet tooth.” He reached for the decadent desert, but I pushed his hand away.
“Eat your dinner first.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
Heat curled inside my belly at the way Dean teased me. I made a point to stay away from younger men and women when I was hooking up. It was just something I did for myself, but now here was this twenty-something-year-old rockstar who was making it very hard to control myself.
“A couple of bites.” I pointed at his meal.
“Okay, sir.” Dean’s ears turned pink, and he ducked his head.
I liked this bratty side of him. The way he was teasing and flirting with me. He managed to eat a chicken tender, then he smiled at me.
“Are you going to want to fuck me?”
I coughed as I nearly choked on my food. “Is that something you’d be interested in?” I wouldn’t say no to sticking my dick inside Dean Frost.
“I’ve never really thought about it until now,” he admitted. “But yes, I think I would.”
