I shook my head. “No.” I’d had a lot of time to think. Over team breakfast. On the plane ride home. On the drive to the apartment. “But if we come out, we have to be serious. There will be paparazzi everywhere we go. Alone. Together. On Cole.”
“Cole?” Dean’s brows shot up. “Why?”
I moved to sit down. “Because he’s my son, and he’s going to be a huge part of our relationship. That’s why I don’t date. I don’t want people watching him. He doesn’t deserve that. You’re a huge star, Dean. The second we come out together, Cole will be the first thing they attack.”
“Shit.” Dean chewed on his bottom lip. “And if we stay together but don’t come out?”
I touched his soft, green hair. “Cole stays safe. Although, the pictures the two of you have posted are probably already attracting a lot of attention. I mean, you’re Maverick’s brother, and he’s with Jackson, so it probably isn’t as big of a deal as I think it is.”
“I have to go back to California and then I have to go to South Korea.” He leaned his head on my shoulder. He reached for my hand to lace our fingers together. “There are a few interviews and photoshoots I have to do. I tried to get out of them, but I couldn’t. It’s not something I want to do. I like it here.”
I tipped his head up. “How long will you be gone?” I didn’t like the thought of him leaving, even for a short time.
“A month.” Dean tried to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe a little longer.”
I dragged my thumb over his bottom lip. “And you’re going alone?”
“Uh, no. Blake is going with me.” He sucked the tip of my thumb into his mouth, and his pupils dilated. I didn’t like thethought of being apart from him for so long. Which was new for me.
I groaned softly. “But we can talk and text.”
Dean nodded. “Every day.”
“And you’ll be good for me, Pink?” I whispered, watching the heat flash in his eyes.
Dean reached down to adjust himself. “I’ll be so good for you, Daddy.”
Chapter Seventeen
Dean
Leaving Beau and Cole behind in Boston was harder than I thought it would be. Saying goodbye to them felt wrong. Beau kissed me softly, held me in his arms, and made me promise to call him as soon as I had a free moment. Cole was a little cooler about it. Telling me to text when I could, but when he hugged me, I felt something pull at my heart that hadn’t been there before. I had never thought I would want kids, especially after my own shitty parents, and even though Beau and I weren’t even close to that kind of relationship, I felt protective of Cole. Like he was mine, too. Was that crazy?
Arriving back in warm, sunny California should have made me happy. Walking into my bright, welcoming house right on the beach should have made me feel like I was home. But instead, it made me feel like something was missing. Like I had left a part of myself behind in Boston. And maybe I had. Maybe I had left my chance of a happily-ever-after in Massachusetts.
“What’s wrong with you?” Blake asked when I met him at the photoshoot the next day, dressed in my usual ripped blue jeans and my black leather jacket. I wore an old Mulligan shirt from our first tour after nearly wearing a Boston Terriers jersey. Because that wouldn’t have been obvious. Right?
I grunted. “I’m a little jet legged.” Lying was bad, and I was going to go to hell, but at least my friends would be there.
“Is that really what it is?” Blake took a second to take me, his moss green eyes dragging over my body. “Where did those hickeys come from? Meet some girl back in Boston?” He wiggledhis brows at me. “The makeup artist is going to have a field day covering those up.”
I slapped a hand against my neck. I had forgotten all about them. And they were fading, too. By the time I saw Beau again, they would be gone. Which would only give him an excuse to add fresh ones.
“Yeah, some girl,” I muttered as I followed Blake inside the building.
We had been here before, only with the whole band, and it felt strange not to have Killian and Maverick with us. Was this what it was going to be like now? Just Blake and me here in California while the other two guys were happy and loved-up on the East Coast?
“How’s your brother?” Blake asked. “Happy?”
He seemed his usual carefree self, but his eyes were off. A little dull, a little less sparkling. Blake tried to pretend he was just like the rest of us. Picking up groupies, drinking, being the rockstar, but we all knew it was an act. Blake was too good. Too innocent. We all knew the real Blake. He never slept around or got too drunk.
I nodded. “Very. It was kind of weird at first, but it makes sense.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him if he ever suspected or thought maybe there was something going on between Maverick and Jackson, since he and Tom, Jax’s brother, were tight at one point, but I didn’t. I knew they weren’t friends anymore, so why open up old wounds?
“Gotta say, it surprised me when Jax called me and asked me to go to his parents for that ring, but I was more than happy to do it.” Blake nudged my shoulder. “And it’s sure nice to have Maverick back again. He’s texted me so many times. Just normal stuff. And he apologized.”
“He’s trying. He feels horrible about everything he did.” I saw a flicker of something like guilt flash in Blake’s eyes for a split second before it was gone. “How was it back in Canfield?”
