"Once he's done here, he's going to get some therapy and rehabilitation at a place our parents found for him. It’s different than the so-called rehab he went to before. I hadn't realized he had stopped seeing Megan or taking his meds."
"Hutch was on medication?"
Pat grimaced. "You didn't hear that last part from me, Jill. I assumed Hutch had told you that because you two were so close. I think a lot of that had to do with Mads, you know? She gave him shit for it, which was totally unfair. She had no right to judge him like that.”
I clenched my fists as I saw red. Madison had yet to come visit her husband in the hospital. She hadn’t bothered to call to see if he was okay. I had an inkling that my blonde nemesis was doing more than visiting with her parents, and it was more like she was shacking up with someone new. “You don’t need me to tell you how I feel about her.”
“You’re a much better woman than she’ll ever be.” Pat casually wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Oh, I forgot to tell you that Dad said you could stop by the apartment anytime. Dad had the key changed so he’s going to bring a spare by for you.”
I had offered to help Hutch and Pat’s parents clean up the apartment so that when he was ready to come home, it wouldn’t be such a disaster.
“Why would he change the locks?” I turned to look at him. “Is there something that you’re keeping from me?” I folded my arms over my chest. “Spill it, Patrick.”
“Shit.” He pulled his arm back to rake his hand through his hair in a move so similar to his brother, it creeped me out. “Madison served Hutch with divorce papers,” he admitted.
“That conniving bitch.”
“Pretty much what my mom said.”
I jumped up, ready to march down to Hutch’s room whether he wanted to see me or not, but Pat gabbed my elbow. “Don’t, Jill.” His brows dipped, and I watched the way his face fell. “He’s not...he’s not in a good place. I’ve never seen him like this before, and he hardly even looks at me or my parents when we walk in the room.” His chin quivered as he spoke.
I wrapped my arms around Patrick to pull him into a hug. “That’s why I should be in there. I can help him, Pat, he needs me.” I swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall.
“Hutch is not the same Hutch. He’s mean, he’s angry, and he lashes out at everyone. The nurses, the doctors, and every one that steps into that room is a target.” Pat stepped back. “I know that if he said something to you now? He’d regret it weeks from now when his meds start working again.”
I chewed on my lip. “When he asks for me, you’ll tell me, right?”
“Of course,” Pat assured me.
Only I didn’t hear from anyone asking me to come visit Hutch. Not even when he went to the Depression and Anxiety Center two hours away from Ocean View. Brent Kelly did stop by one afternoon to drop off the key for the apartment, and when I asked him about Hutch, he simply shook his head and told me that not much had changed since the day I found him. He was still angry at the world, and would probably be at the center longer than they had planned. He thanked me for my help and for teaching Hazel, as well as for bringing her home after classes on Monday evenings, but didn’t give me any other chance to ask about Hutch before he rushed away.
My heart was broken. I felt like I let Hutch down, and could have saved him if I had just talked to him that morning when he had said he needed someone, but instead I had pushed him away. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I still felt tremendously guilty. It took me a few days to work up the nerve to go to Hutch’s apartment, and when I did, I cried for a good fifteen minutes in the kitchen, wondering just what he was thinking when he thought he had to leave everyone behind. I dropped to the floor, sobbing and screaming, wishing that he’d talk to me or reach out, but I knew he wasn’t ready for that yet. When I was done, I washed my face with a cold paper towel and began my clean up.
First, I cleaned up all the empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, and cans. Then I took all the dirty clothes, put them in the washing machine, and turned that on so Hutch would have clean clothes when he returned home. I got rid of all the garbage, the spoiled food in the fridge, and cleaned the counters, tables, and then vacuumed the entire apartment. By the time I was done, I was exhausted, but I thought I had done a good job. The clothes were folded, put away, and both beds were made. I hoped that Hutch would be proud of me.
Chapter Thirty
