“Nothing,” I lied.
Patrick looked up at the clear blue sky. “You like her.”Stating the obvious, Sherlock. “She’s eighteen, Hutch, and has her entire life mapped out ahead of her. She’s not like you.”
I could knock his block off. I could punch him into next Tuesday, and he knew it. Instead, I kept waking because that was who I was. No bark, no bite.
“I didn’t...Hutch, wait!” Patrick caught right back up to me again. “I didn’t mean that.”
I bared my teeth at him. “You meant it.” I flipped my middle finger, warning him off. “I’m different. She’s not. I’m not stupid, Pat; just mute,” I reminded him. “Get out of my way now.”
When Pat did what I asked, I kept walking and didn’t look back. I made it all the way back to our house where I still lived, even at twenty-six, and into the apartment I had over the garage where I planned to spend the rest of the day drinking and feeling sorry for myself.
Jillian Robinson was going to break my heart.
I should get out while I still could.
She isn’t into me like that.
***
Ididn’t see Jillianagain until Friday night. Or at least, I didn’t talk to her again. I walked by the ballet studio she had class at every single morning on my way to work, but pretended I didn’t see her when she waved to me. I saw her when she was outside with the other girls in her class on their break, laughing and talking about God only knows what, but I acted like I didn’t when she turned to look over at the garage.
Patrick was right. Jillian wasn’t like me. She was normal, she was good, and she was going to get out of this town. I was the one who’d be stuck here until they buried me six feet in the ground. I thought I had come to terms with my life, but now I wasn’t so sure of that.
Friday night rolled around, and I was no longer as pissed off at my brother as I was on Sunday, which meant I let him convince me to go out to a party one of his buddies was having at their house. He made no mention of Jillian so I assumed she wouldn’t be there. If I had known, I would have just stayed home like I usually did. He told me it was just going to be a bunch of dudes hanging out. Guys, I could handle, but girls? Girls were something altogether different. Guys didn’t care if I sat there drinking a beer, grunting out an answer now and then, but girls? Girls wanted you to talk to them. I didn’t do that.
Jillian was there with her friends: Belle, Madison, and, of course, her sister, Jo. I kept to myself like usual, mostly talking with Pat when he could tear himself away from his girlfriend. I sipped on my warm beer by myself and gave a quick smile to whoever might give me a fleeting hello before I decided after an hour that I had had enough. Knox Carson was making my skin crawl with the way he was flirting with Jillian, and I was ready to leave until something made me Jillian’s raised voice caused me to change my mind.
“Put me down, Knox!”
I spun around at the sound of Jillian’s voice. Sure enough, Knox had Jillian in his arms while he strutted toward the beach as if he was about to dump her in the water. He was laughing as if he was having a great time, but Jillian looked otherwise. I sprinted toward them without a second thought.
“I think the lady asked you to put her down,” I growled incessantly.
Knox seemed surprised to either see me or hear me, because he immediately stopped dead in his tracks before he bared his teeth. “Are you serious, mute?” As if I didn’t know everyone used that name on me. “I think you’re lost.” He started toward the water again, but I blocked his path.
“Put her down.”
“Hutch, it’s okay,” Jillian tried to assure me.
I glanced between the two of them. The way Jillian’s eyes sparkled with laughter, the way she was gripping his arms; I realized I had read the entire situation wrong. Maybe they were still dating. Crap, where they still together? I was such an idiot. I turned and fled the scene as fast as I could, heading back up to where I had left my shoes so I could make a beeline back to my place. How could I be that stupid? To even think Jillian might be interested in me, when she had Knox Carson in her life.
“Wait, Hutch!” Jillian called out to me as she rushed up the sand. “Are you mad at me again?” she asked.
I turned around slowly to find her standing there in an oversized sweatshirt that fell to her knees. I saw red when I realized it probably belonged to fucking Knox. “No,” I assured her. “Not you.” I was mad at myself, but of course, I didn’t say that aloud.
Jillian searched my face. “I hoped we could finish our conversation from the other day.” She took a step forward. Loud, explosive laughter from her friends caused her to look back over her shoulder before she turned to me again.
“You should go back to your friends, Jillian,” I muttered.
“Aren’t we friends, Hutch?” she inquired softly.
“Are we?”
Jillian moved around to where I had my eyes pinned to my feet. “Yes.” Her lips turned up and that was what did me in. A smile so innocent, so perfect, that I had no other choice but to give in to what she wanted. “Stay and walk with me for a second?”
“Okay.” I nodded.
