“This is our song, Jilly.”
Her green eyes flew up to mine to give me a quick nod as Knox moved away to let me step in. As I wrapped my arms around Jillian’s small body, I felt her tremble against me. She smelled perfect. Sweet and feminine, with a touch of perfection like always. Her skin was warm under my fingers as I gripped her arms, but I didn’t like how thin she had become. We didn’t speak, only swayed to the music, and I couldn’t resist whispering the lyrics against her ear.
“When it comes to you, oh, the damage I could do.”
Jillian stiffened against me before she pulled back to look up at me. “Don’t do that,” she pleaded.
I ran the back of my hand over her cheek. “What’s wrong, Jilly, afraid you might finally tell me the truth this time?” I teased. She struggled against me, causing me to hold her tighter.
“This isn’t the time or place.”
“Then when?” Jillian’s face had drained of blood when I finally looked down at her. “You and tequila,” I reminded her, daring to lift a hand to tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “I told you my deepest, darkest secret, Jillybean, and you can’t even tell me why you broke my heart. Doesn’t seem like a fair trade to me.”
She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “Hutch, I—”
“Don’t you dare tell me you can’t, Jillian, because I swear to God, I will tear this place apart if I hear those words come out of your mouth again. It nearly broke me when you left. You ignored all my calls, my texts, and I thought it was me you running from.” I snarled. “You know what? I give up.” I released her from my arms. “I realize now that you couldn’t have possibly cared about me the way I did for you. I’m done.” I took a step back, after declaring my final admission.
“Wait.”
I shook my head. “No, you fucking wait.” I pointed my index finger at her, horrified to see that it was shaking. “I know you’re mad that I’m involved with your arch nemesis now.” That sounded ridiculous coming out of my mouth. “But we’re all adults here. In case you forgot, you left me first. You dropped out of my life without explanation or reason, after you told me you loved me, by the way. After you told me you couldn’t imagine not being together. That is fucked up. I’m sorry you can’t deal with that, but I. Am. Done.” I turned to storm off the dance floor, knowing Patrick and Jo were probably horrified right now.
When Knox tried to stop me, I shoved him. “Fuck off, man, this has nothing to do with you. She’s all yours now. Have at it.” I noticed Madison standing by the door and wondered just how much she had witnessed. “I’m not talking about this with you,” I warned her when I shoved the door, only to have her follow me outside.
“Hutch, what was that about?” Madison was struggling to keep up with me on with the heels she had on even though I had warned her not to wear them.
I gritted my teeth. “Did I not just say I was not going to talk about this?” I glanced over my shoulder at her.
“You were dancing with Jillian?” she pushed.
“Mads.” I stopped to stare at her.
“No, you don’t get to just blow that off. We’re together, Hutch. I don’t care if she was your first love or whatever the fuck Jill means to you. We’re a family now. You can’t just drop that because she blows back into your life.” Madison planted her hands on her slim hips. Her blue eyes were furious as she glared at me.
“Do not say another word about Jillian. Do you hear me?” My voice was cold when I spoke. “I need to be alone.” I started walking again. I thought for sure that Madison would follow me, but when she didn’t, I let out a sigh of relief. I had no clue where I was going; only that I needed to think.
***
Iwalked around forwhat felt like hours before I finally went back to my apartment over my parents’ garage. I went there sometimes when I needed to be alone and just think. I considered going to Jillian’s, but what good would that do? She was never going to tell me the truth. She was never going to tell me why she left me and broke my heart. I sighed as I climbed the stairs with heavy legs. That morning was still fresh in my mind. The crushing blow that I never saw coming.
I felt a smile spread over my face as I thought about my last night and reached for Jillian, only to find the spot where she should be on the bed, empty. I sat up.
“Jills?” My voice echoed off the walls as I flung the blankets back from my legs. The apartment was eerily silent. “Jillian?” I sprang from the bed, grabbed a clean pair of boxers from the dresser, and rushed to the bathroom hoping she was there.
Nothing.
My entire apartment was empty except for me. Her bag was gone. The drawer Jillian had been using to store her clothes? Empty. My heart cracked, and I dropped to the floor by the bed. What the fuck was going on? I felt sick, as bile filled my throat, and pressed my forehead against the cool floor.
Jillian had left. She had left without saying goodbye after she told me she loved me. Why would she do that unless...no. I shook my head. She told me she wanted to be with me and wanted to make things work.
I slammed my fist against the hardwood to feel the pain race through my muscles and then jumped to my feet. I grabbed my phone from the charger.
Hutch:Where are you?
Hutch:Jills, what the fuck is going on?
Hutch:You’re scaring me.
My texts went unanswered that day or any other time I tried to reach out to her. Any calls I made were sent straight to voicemail. When I finally went to Patrick the next day, who then brought Jo over, they had no idea Jillian left me the way she did. She had told them she left a day early because she wanted to get settled. Get more comfortable with her roommate and life at school. They were as clueless as I was.
