“What are you two up to?” Jo asked, trying to change the subject.
“Man stuff,” Pat answered as if that was a normal thing to say.
I wrinkled my nose. “Man stuff? What exactly is man stuff or do I even want to know?” I stole a glance at Hutch who was leaning against the wall, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but in this house right now. He had changed into a pair of blue jeans and a polo shirt that was so tight across his chest that I thought it might rip in two. He clearly hit the workouts harder these days.
"Sure, bachelor party stuff," Hutch answered. Wait, was he actually holding a conversation in front of my mother? I had so many questions right now.
“Jillian.” My mother’s voice brought me back to the real world. “You need to eat more.” I knew she was trying to keep her voice down, but everyone could her here in the room. “You’re so thin. I’m going to have to bring this dress down almost half a size before the wedding.”
My face blazed with embarrassment. I wasn’t not eating if that’s what she thought, and I didn’t exactly make a lot of money. I ate two meals a day and the little I had left went to pay the bills I had. “Are you done?” I wanted to die right now. She could have at least waited until we were alone to say something or maybe not said anything at all. I had lost a little weight, but nothing to be concerned about.
Hutch coughed softly. “Hey, Jills, when you’re done, you want to go grab something to eat at the Egg? My treat.” I brought my gaze back to him. He gave a brief smile before he looked back at his feet. He saved me. He saved me from my mother, and I wanted to kiss him so hard right now. Even if he hated me or wanted nothing to do with me.
Mom patted my arm. “Go on, sweetheart. You can change, but make sure you hang this up in my room before you go.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
I looked over at Hutch. "Don't you haveman stuffto do?" I made air quotes at him, and he broke into a smile.
“Not if it means I can spend time with you, Jills.” Hutch tilted his head. “You look beautiful
in that dress by the way,” he added.
"Let me change." I lifted up the dress so I didn't trip over it. "We’re getting pancakes,” I called to him as I headed upstairs to change.
***
After I changed intoa clean pair of jean shorts and a baggy t-shirt, I found Hutch waiting for me on the porch. Gone was the happy face he shared when my mother had been around, and I realized that had been just for show, for my family, and probably Pat too. He hardly even glanced at me when I closed the screen door behind me, but I noticed the way his body stiffened. For a second my brain flashed back to the morning after I left his apartment.
I don’t understand why you left without saying goodbye, Jills. What did I do? Why won’t you answer my calls or texts? I can’t do this without you. I love you. I thought you loved me, but clearly that isn’t the case. Your Instagram is private now, you deleted me from your Facebook, and Jo won’t tell me anything. This is my last attempt at trying to get in touch with you, and after this? I’m not going to bother you anymore.
“Let’s go,” he grunted, practically stomping down the front steps which brought me back to the present. He was halfway down the walk before he noticed I wasn’t following him. “Jillian?” Hutch stopped to look at me over his shoulder.
I put my hands on my hips as I walked down the steps. “Is this how you’re going to talk to me? How you’re going to act at the restaurant? Like a complete and total dick? You said you wanted to spend time with me,” I reminded him.
“I think I have the right to act however I want, considering what you did to me.”
Point to Gryffindor. “I don’t want to be around if you’re going to be mean.” Hot tears blinded me before I could stop them, and I turned my face so he couldn’t see me cry.
“Don’t do that.” Hutch sounded closer now. “Don’t try to make me feel guilty for being mad or hurt with you. You broke my heart, remember?” He placed a finger under my chin to force me to look at him. “Don’t cry, Jilly.” Hutch used his thumb to wipe the tears from my cheek before he took a step back from me. “I said I’d treat you to breakfast, and that’s what I intend to do. I promise I won’t be mean,” he whispered, his brown eyes searching my face.
We walked in silence down to the Angry Egg, and even though Hutch walked next to me, I could feel the wall between us. I was thankful for the tourists that kept us from speaking, happy that my sister had decided to get married on the week of Fourth of July. As we approached the popular restaurant, there was already a line of people waiting to get inside to be seated.
“It won’t be long,” Hutch assured me. “They have seating outside now.” He ran his hand through his hair and leaned toward the right to see past the line into the diner.
I wanted to touch Hutch. I wanted to hold his hand and wrap my arms around his thick frame to get closer, despite the hot sun that beat down onto our skin. I wanted to smell his scent, the soap he used, the aftershave he wore, and get lost in him all over again. I missed the way he said my name when he came in my mouth, the way he kissed me, and the way he looked first thing in the morning. How his muscles felt above me when we made love, and how he always made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. I missed Hutch. That’s what I missed most of all.
“Jilly?”
I blinked up at him, shading my eyes from the sun. “Wh-what?” I hadn’t even realized he was speaking to me.
A smile tugged at his lips even though I could tell he was fighting to hold back. “I asked how ballet was going.” He tilted his head. “Jo mentioned you had gotten a part inA Midsummer Night’s Dream? That’s pretty exciting, right?” He rolled on the balls of his feet.
The line moved so we stepped with it. “Uh, yeah.” I glanced around, trying not to meet Hutch’s eyes. “It’s great.” Lie. “I’m only playing the part of a butterfly, but it’s just great to even be able to be out there with the New York City Ballet.” Another lie.
Hutch looked like he might call me out, but the line moved again, and we were suddenly inside. All the memories came flooding back. The place hadn’t changed at all. The paint on the walls was still faded, the grease stains on the pictures and floors were still there, and the smell of food hung in the air.
“Welcome to the Angry Egg—Jillian?” Madison’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard, and any happy thoughts I had about Hutch went up in smoke. “What are you doing back at the View? With Hutch?” Her voice changed the moment she realized I was standing with her boyfriend. “Seriously?” she hissed trying to keep her cool, but her eyes narrowed into angry slits.
I waved my hand in the air. “Don’t worry,” I assured her. “He’s all yours. I’m just here for the wedding.” I gritted my teeth, trying not to knock Madison out. “You know, I’m not really that hungry.” I began to turn around, only to have Hutch’s arm snake around my waist to keep me in place.
