I spun around. “What? You expected me to wait for you to come back here? What if that was never?” I watched as Jillian lifted her suitcase up onto a chair and unzipped it. “I should be alone forever?”
“You slept with the devil.”
“I fail to understand how that is your concern.”
Jillian started yanking clothes out, tossing them onto the floor until she found what she was looking for and then pulled her shirt off. What was she doing? Getting naked now? The shirt hit the floor with everything else, but then she grabbed another one from the suitcase and pulled it on. It fell to her knees as she spun around to face me, tugging her shorts off and removing those next. “I want you to leave,” she said again.
Without even caring, I let my eyes roam over Jillian’s body. She was thinner than I remembered, but I suppose dancing full time would do that to you. Her legs were still toned, but the shirt she had on covered the rest of her body. Speaking of that shirt.
“That’s mine,” I insisted. “You took that.” I knew I sounded childish as hell.
Jillian rolled her eyes. “Sue me. At least I didn’t breed with Satan.” She started toward the bed to pull back the covers before she climbed in.
“I want it back.”
“Not happening.”
Why was Jillian acting like this? She used to be nice. She was sweet. She was...turning off the light and now it was dark. “What the fuck, Jills,” I growled as the room went black.
“I’m tired, Hutch, and I’m not doing this now,” she whispered. “I’m sure you can find your way out the same way you came in. Please leave.”
I stood there and let my eyes adjust to the dark, knowing I should leave. I had Madison to worry about, our daughter, Hazel, and Patrick’s wedding. I shouldn’t be here, in my ex-girlfriend’s room, who was currently wearing nothing but my t-shirt and a pair of panties. Without even thinking about it, I strode across the room to her bed, ripped back the covers and climbed into the bed.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Shut up.”
Jillian stared at me, and with the moonlight that filled the room, I could see her green eyes filled with fear. I realized that’s what I was doing to her. Scaring her. I didn’t want Jillian to be afraid of me because that’s not what this was about. It was about getting answers, finding out what happened, and maybe, just maybe, getting the closure I so desperately needed in my life.
I stretched out onto my back. “I didn’t mean that.” I sighed and tucked my arms behind my head.
“Are you seriously going to just lie in my bed?” Jillian moved onto her side, but I could feel her watching me. I wondered if she still felt the same way she did just a few years ago.
I grunted, which wasn’t really an answer of any sort. I had dreamed of this moment for years. What I would do or say and what might happen, but now that Jillian was actually here? I didn’t want to let her go again.
I could feel her gaze boring into me. “You’re not staying here,” she whispered. “I told you before, Hutch, and I’m going to say it again, you need to leave before...what the hell!” she exclaimed as I flipped her onto her back in a flash.
“You think you know me, baby?” I smirked. I moved so that my body now flanked Jillian’s, my hard muscles against hers, and her legs dropped open. “You don’t know shit.” I ran my nose down her cheek, toward her ear, and licked my lips before I spoke again. “You’re going to have to tell me one way or another, Jills, so why not now? Save us both the trouble of making me fucking wait any longer.” I knew she felt my tongue against her skin because she trembled beneath me.
“Hutch.” Her breath came out in a hoarse whisper. “Don’t.”
What the fuck was I doing? I leaped from the bed, gripping my hair, and when Jillian turned on the light, I spun back around. “Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” I stared down into her frightened eyes. “You know I would never hurt you, right? I’m just...just so fucked up over you,” I admitted.
Jillian patted the bed, and I didn’t have to think twice about climbing back in with her. “I can leave the light on,” she offered.
“It’s okay,” I assured her, and when the room plunged back into darkness, I reached for her hand even though I knew it was wrong, expecting her to fight me, but she didn’t. I stared up at the ceiling, at the colored glow in the dark stars that were still stuck there, and listened to the sound of my own heart and felt the tears that burned my eyes. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Jillian was supposed to be my forever; only now, we were acting like two people who hated one another. My stomach clenched at the thought, because as much as I tried? I could never hate her.
Jillian took a shaky breath, causing me to turn my head toward her. “I missed you, Hutch.” Her sweet, soft voice caused an ache in my heart that I thought I had buried. “I know that’s not what you wanted me to say or what you wanted to hear, but it’s all I can tell you right now.” A tear slipped from her eye, and I reached up to catch it with my finger. “I know you’re with Madison now, and I can respect that. Maybe.”
My lips were on hers before I realized it. Soft, plump and so damn kissable, Jillian didn’t even try to stop me, but instead brought her hand up to grip my neck while funneling the other through my hair as our tongues twisted and tangled together. When I pulled back, I thought I would be racked with guilt, but that never came. I brushed a piece of hair from her face before I buried my face into her neck and wrapped my arms around her small frame to pull her close.
I don’t think either one of us meant to fall asleep like that, but it was always easier for me when Jillian was next to me. Sleep was hard for me before she came into my life. I often overmedicated with sleeping pills or even alcohol, but not when Jillian was in my bed.
I heard the birds first, chirping and making God-awful happy sounds. Who was that excited to be awake? I still had my arms wrapped tightly around Jillian like I was afraid she would disappear again, and my arms were stiff when I started to move them. The alarm clock across the room blinked 12:00am, which meant it was wrong, and when I rolled onto my back and reached for my phone, I had several missed calls and way too many unopened texts from Madison.
Fuck.
“Sweetheart, are you awake?” Ellen Robinson knocked on the door, and I froze where I was lying. The handle jiggled, but Jillian must have locked it because the door never opened. “Jill, why is this door locked?”
