I shouldn’t have come. I should have stayed away longer. I pinched my eyes together, wishing I could go back in time and change everything. To not leave Hutch the way I did. To never leave him, but I didn’t have a Tardis, and I wasn’t the Doctor.
***
When I awoke again, Hutch had pulled his truck in front of my parents’ house. Funny how I thought it might look different, but it was still the same slate gray with white shutters. The chairs looked new on the wraparound porch, the grass freshly mowed, but that was the only thing that looked different to me. I started to reach for the handle of the door, but the lock went down, and I turned to find Hutch watching me with questions in his eyes.
“Why?” His voice cracked. “Just tell me why you left without saying goodbye. I’ve wracked my brain for four damn years, Jills, but I can’t figure it out. What did I do wrong? Or what didn’t I do? I loved you so damn much. I thought you loved me, and I thought maybe—”
I couldn’t do this now. “Don’t make me do this now, Hutch.” Tears burned my eyes as I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see Jo bouncing down the steps toward us.
Hutch sighed. “I deserve an answer.”
I managed to unlock the door before Jo got there and nearly fell out of the truck, trying to get away from Hutch. “Thanks,” I hissed at my sister as I hurled my suitcase from behind the seat.
“What?” Jo batted her lashes at me innocently.
Hutch managed to get out of the truck, grab my suitcase, and carry up the walkway before I even took a breath, leaving me staring after him. He placed it on the porch and sat down on one of the chairs, like he did it every night. Maybe he did. I never asked about him to keep him as far away from my heart as possible.
“Hutch.” Jo hugged him as I got closer, and I’m pretty sure my jaw hit the ground. Was this the same guy? Who was this imposter? “Thanks for picking Jill up tonight. You’re the best,” she gushed before she turned to wink at me.
“You didn’t tell me you cut your hair.” She pointed out at me, running her fingers through her own long dark hair.
I shrugged. “It’s easier to handle.” I had cut it only a couple of weeks ago after I decided I needed a change. It now hung right above my shoulders now.
Hutch stood up. “I should go.” He glanced at me again, but didn’t say anything. Then he walked back to his truck and drove away without another word.
“Thanks a lot, Jo.” I started to open the door.
“I have to warn you about him.”
I stopped and turned around. “He hates me. I got that already.” Something told me Jo was talking about something else, something bigger.
Jo dragged her teeth across her bottom lip. “I wish that was the only thing, Jill, it’s much worse than that.” She sighed. “So...it got really bad when you left. I mean, really fucking bad. Hutch talked about killing himself, spent a little time at the Ocean View Institution, you know the one they call ‘rehab’?” She used air quotes around rehab.
“Jesus Christ.”
“Let me finish.” Jo held up her hand. “He met someone.”
I think my heart stopped when those words left my sister’s mouth. “Like seriously met someone or just fucked around with said someone?” I felt like I might faint. I knew I should have eaten something on the plane. “I...I need to sit down.” I closed the front door to move back onto the porch and eased myself into the chair Hutch had just vacated.
Jo twisted her hands together. “I think at first it was more about sex. Just to have a warm body next to him at night because he missed you so much.” She squatted down in front of me. “It’s Madison.”
“What?” I shot up so fast Jo fell onto her ass. “Madison? Fucking Madison? Hutch is with Madison Rae?”
“He knocked her up, Jill, he felt like it was the right thing to do.”
I really was going to be sick now. I sat back, feeling fresh tears fall. I deserved this. I deserved all of this because I left him without saying goodbye. I was evil incarnate, and now Hutch had a baby with someone else. “I hate it here.” I closed my eyes as Jo wrapped her arms around me.
“They aren’t married or anything, hell, I’m not even sure that they live together.” I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it wasn’t working.
I choked back a sob. “Madison is a terrible person, Jo. The things she said about Hutch were so awful. She doesn’t deserve someone so pure.” I wanted to hit something. Madison being that something, but I knew that wouldn’t solve my problems. “He proposed? Wait, no, don’t tell me. Wait, tell me. No.” I shook my head. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” I did, but I couldn’t handle that right now. Learning Hutch had slept with my enemy and had created a child with her was bad enough.
“Sweetie.” Jo pulled back and smoothed the hair around my face as she forced me to meet her eyes. “She’s going to be super pissed you’re here.” A smile pulled at her lips at that admission.
My eyes went wide. “You didn’t tell her?” You’re cruel.” I wiped the tears from my face and pulled away from Jo. “Why is this so hard?” I felt empty inside just like I had for the past four years.
“Because you broke the heart of the man you loved?”
“Thanks, bitch.”
