Iwas nervous whenI pulled my car into the driveway at almost eleven o’clock. Jillian and I texted off and on while she told me she was watching Netflix on my television, waiting for me. When I told her I didn’t believe her, she sent me a selfie of herself, smiling, perched on my couch, followed by the open container of cookies. I wished I was there, snuggled up with her. Sure, eating her pussy was what I was thinking about coming home to, but I wanted to hold her. Jillian was the sun, and I was the wilted flower that needed her light.
There wasn’t a single light on in my place as I stepped inside my apartment. I toed off my shoes, and I moved closer to my bed to find Jillian lying there in my Kenny Chesney shirt, her big green eyes watching me in the moonlight.
“Welcome home.” Her voice sent shivers up my spine and caused my cock to jump to attention. She eased her body onto her side. “Missed me as much as I missed you?” She ran her fingers over the comforter.
I nodded, afraid to speak. Jillian looked more beautiful right here, right now, than any other time I had ever seen her. I watched as she sat up and pulled her dark hair out from the bun she kept it in, causing it to tumble down around her shoulders. Fuck me.
Then she shot a blinding smile at me. “I thought about wearing that dress I told you about, but...” She stood up, causing my shirt to fall to her knees. Desire skidded through my body. No dress could make me feel the way her wearing my shirt did right now. “I figured that could wait for another time.” Jillian stood up onto her toes so easily, probably because of all her years of ballet, and hooked her arms around my neck. “You’re so fucking handsome, you know that, Hutch?”
“Shit.” My cock jerked against my jeans so painfully that I was afraid it might do permanent damage. Jillian’s lips fluttered against my jawline, causing me to groan. “Wait.” I needed to get myself together. This was too fast, too much, and if I wasn’t careful—
She took a step back as she released me. “I’m pushing you, aren’t I?” Her eyes were wide. “I’m sorry.”
“Jillian, you’re beautiful.” My hands went to my hair. “I fucking...I want you so badly. I keep imagining being buried inside you would be like being wrapped inside heaven.” I bit my lip and copper flooded my mouth.
“Hutch.” Jillian gripped my arm. “I wasn’t expecting you to have sex with me,” she whispered as she used her other hand to touch my chin. “You’re not ready for that, honey.” She ran her thumb over my bottom lip. “Sit with me.” She eased me onto the mattress and sat down next to me.
“I want to tell you something.” I reached for Jillian’s hand as I turned to look at her. “Something I’ve only told one other person. The reason I’m the way that I am.”
“Hutch, honey, you don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.”
We sat in the dark for what felt like forever as Jillian waited for me to speak. She didn’t push me or ask me what it was. She only waited until I was ready.
“Eight years ago, I had everything going for me.” My voice shook with anxiety as I spoke. “You might not remember that since you were so young at the time, but I was pretty popular. On the football team, with plans to go pro when I graduated, and of course, seeing the world someday.” I stopped to catch my breath. My heart was thumping so loudly in my chest that I felt like it might explode. “The year before my junior year of high school, my father signed me up for football camp. Thought it would be good for me. I thought it sounded like a load of shit because I was already a great player, but hell, why not, right? It would get me out of here for the summer.” I needed to get up, move, do anything, as my breathing got difficult.
Jillian watched me as I paced around the apartment. Her eyes were wide when I turned to look at her. She looked so small sitting on my bed with the shirt sliding off her shoulder. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she waited for me to continue. I moved to grab a beer, because I needed to take the edge off, and ended up finishing the entire thing in one gulp.
I made my way to the couch before I spoke again. “It was fun,” I told her, which wasn’t a lie. “At first. The first week, the second week, but by the third...” I swallowed as bile filled my throat and my beer threatened to come back up. “I wanted to go home.” I couldn’t look at Jillian now as she stood up to come closer to me. Not when my secret was about to come out. I yanked at my hair and pulled the strands out. Jillian pressed her small frame against my body then while wrapping her arms around my waist. I didn’t touch her, afraid of breaking her in half.
“I was in the shower when they came for me. I tried to fight them.” I felt my knees give out, and Jillian came crashing to the floor with me. “It was no use of course. They were bigger, there were more of them, and I was tied up. I couldn’t see who it was. But I still fought them until I felt the gun on my back.” Tears blinded my eyes as I pressed my face into the fabric of the couch. “I was so sore from the workout I had that day that I didn’t even have the strength, and I think that was the reason they came for me that day. They took turns on me, all six of them, and when they were done”—I was so ashamed as I spoke the words out loud—“they left me there alone in the dark to stumble back to my cabin. Bleeding and bruised, not caring if I lived or died.” I took a shaky breath as the memories came flooding back. “I have no idea if I’m the only person that this happened to because I never spoke to anyone about it. I was so embarrassed.” I kept my eyes down, afraid to look at Jillian, not wanting to see the horrified look in her eyes and have her push me away. “I called my parents the next day so that I could beg them to come home. I told them I just wasn’t having fun, even though just a few days earlier I had hold them the complete opposite,” I whispered.
I felt Jillian’s body moved behind me. “Hutch,” she murmured my name. “Honey, please look at me.” She tugged on me to try to get me to turn around.
“I can’t.”
“Please, Hutch.”
I slowly moved my body around to face hers but kept my gaze down. Jillian cupped my cheeks in her hands to tilt my face up. Her greens were pinched, her eyes full of love, and as she leaned forward, I felt my breath catch in my throat. “None of that was your fault, baby,” she whispered, brushing her lips against mine. “I know I can’t tell you how to feel or how to act because I’ve never had anything like that happen to me.” Again, her lips were a soft caress on mine. “But I can tell you that you didn’t deserve that.” She moved to straddle my waist then, and pressed forward, running her tongue over the seam of my lips. “You were a young boy. Those people were supposed to protect you, not hurt you, and they were monsters.” She pulled on my bottom lip with her teeth. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
I planted my palm against the back of Jillian’s head so that I could hold it in place before I kissed her. My tongue slipped easily between her lips, and her arms tightened around my neck as our kiss grew rougher, harder, and I realized where this was going. She was already grinding against me in a way that told me she wanted me, but was I ready to take that step tonight?
Jillian pulled back to yank the shirt she had on up over her head. “Touch me,” she begged earnestly. “Please, Hutch, I need you.” She arched her back and pressed her chest forward.
I groaned at the sight of her hard, dusky nipples before I took one in my mouth. Jillian cried out as I sucked and nibbled softly on it, her body squirming against me. I reached up to roll the right one, the one that wasn’t in my mouth, between my fingers, and I swear she was going to come right then.
“More, please, more,” she urged. “Suck harder.” I was glad Jillian wasn’t afraid to tell me what to do. Her hands found my hair so that she could thread her fingers through it, and when I did as she asked, I watched her eyes roll back slightly. “Mark me. Please,” she moaned.
I did as Jillian asked—biting, sucking, and pinching her hard enough to leave little pink marks against her skin until I thought I would explode in my pants. There were so many things I wanted to do with her, but most of all? I wanted her to ride my cock until I came inside her tight little pussy.
“Hutch,” she moaned my name like a fucking porn star.
I popped my mouth from her nipple. “Yes?” I wanted her. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.
Jillian smiled at me before she touched my cheek. “I want to be the first girl to put her mouth on you, Hutch.” She ran her thumb over my cheek, over my bottom lip, and then pressed her mouth against mine. “Will you let me do that?” she asked softly.
