“Out. Finding some new hot guy to fuck. Maybe. I don’t know. Certainly not wasting your nights here with me.”
Cael narrowed his eyes at him. Zach’s tone held no irritation or anger, only dejection.
“That’s it. I’m calling Chloe.” Cael reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone.
“Why?”
“To babysit so I can take you out.”
Zach’s mouth fell open, as if he were about to protest, but Cael didn’t let him.
“Look, Pook. It’s been almost a month now. You haven’t taken hardly any time to yourself since taking Taylor in, and working while she’s in daycare doesn’t count. You need a little stress relief, so we’re going out and who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone while we’re at it.”
“I’d rather not. And I did go out a couple weeks ago, when we met Emma and Chloe for dinner.”
“I’m talking about you and me only this time. It’s time you let Megan go and move on.”
“Who the fuck says I haven’t?” Zach snapped. He pushed to his feet, taking a moment to balance himself.
“Where you goin’?”
Gripping the back of the chair, Zach moved around it then headed for the door. “To get another beer.”
Cael stood and followed him into the house. “How many beers have you had?”
“Only two,” Zach replied, tossing the bottle in the bin under the sink. “But I started with a couple tequila shots to speed up the process.”
Zach grabbed the refrigerator door handle and started to pull it open, but Cael pressed the fridge door closed before he could reach inside. “I think you’ve had enough.”
“Oh, fucking come on! It’s just another beer, and it’s not like I’m driving anywhere.”
“You remember the hangover you had the last time you drank too much or, as you put it, the explosive mining operation in your head, and how you told me never to let you do it again?”
“Pfft. I haven’t had near that much yet.” Zach tried again to pull the fridge open, but he didn’t have the strength to overpower Cael.
“No, but you’re heading there.”
With a loud, exasperated huff, Zach gave up and leaned against the counter beside the refrigerator, crossing his arms over his chest.
“So what. I’ll fucking deal with it tomorrow.”
Keeping his hand on the fridge, Cael shifted to stand in front of Zach. “You have a one-year old sleeping down the hall who might need you, or have you forgotten about her?”
“Of course I haven’t fucking forgotten about her! Or my sister, who’s still laid up in the damn hospital in a fucking coma that she may never come out of!”
Zach pushed past him, then spun around as Cael turned to follow.
“On top of that, I’ve come to the conclusion that no one even fucking wants me. Even you don’t want me. And watching the way you are with Taylor, I know you won’t keep up the single shit forever. You think I don’t see it? I remember how you used to sometimes look at me when I was with Megan, planning our wedding and shit. You wanted it then. You wanted what I had. You still do. Because that look in your eyes is still there. I see it every fucking day, and soon you’re gonna finally realize it and find your perfect man and start your family andthis… this right here, me raising Taylor, is going to be my life because there’s this sinking feeling in my gut that tells me Abbey isn’t coming back. I fucking miss her too much already, and Taylor? Not that I don’t love her. I do, it’s just… fuck, man, I don’t want to do it alone.”
Zach’s voice broke at that last little bit.
Cael held his breath, holding Zach’s somber gaze. He didn’t know what to say. Zach had held himself together over the last month, but everyone had a breaking point, and Zach had hit his.
Cael didn’t want to bring up Abbey again. Zach was tired of hearing people tell him that his sister would be okay. Even Cael had said it enough already, and Zach didn’t need to hear it from him again. So instead, Cael focused on everything else Zach had revealed.
Zach thought Cael wanted the whole family thing with someone else, but all Cael wanted was to have it all with Zach. The looks Zach had mentioned had everything to do with what he would never have with Zach. Cael had always hidden his emotions, but lately, he’d found it far more difficult. The fact that Zach thought Cael didn’t want him tore him up inside.
“Why would you care if I didn’t want you? You’re not gay.”
