“You didn’t have to do all of this.” Janelle’s voice breaks, but she continues to my room.
“Yes, I absolutely did.” I shoo them all to the back and pull out the charcuterie board, filling the coffee table with the goodies I splurged on at the farmer’s market earlier with my boyfriend. A grin fills my face at the title and how it makes me giddy to think about.
For so many years, I pushed people away. Steeling myself to be alone, learning to be satisfied as several cats run around my feet. But now, it's not something I want to consider ever again.
Opening the freezer, I pull out the chilled bottle and pour each of us a glass of sweet, yet tart, red wine. Janelle follows Cassidy and Brianna out of the room, and they all change into their comfy pajamas and slippers.
Janelle already looks more relaxed than she did when she got here. Grief still rages across her face, but she’s at least calm.
Janelle takes the oversized chair and snuggles in as B joins her. It makes my heart happy knowing we have our group of girls. My life feelscomplete. There’s something about finding your platonic soulmates that shifts the world to its rightful place. We hold each other accountable, call out bullshit, celebrate every single win, and we’re also here to blanket each other in comfort when grief comes knocking.
Cassidy is already bundled under a throw from the back of the couch when I come to sit down, snatching a marinated olive off the wooden board and popping it in my mouth.
“I know we are here for me, but someone please give me some good news because I can’t cry anymore today,” Janelle says on a sniffle, wiping a stray tear. “I’m all cried out.”
“Well...um, I have some good news,” I mumble, nervous to fully share everything with my friends. I hadn’t told them about sleeping over at Clint’s—well, not really aside from having Cassidy feed my little man. I take a deep breath and hurriedly say the next four words: “I have a boyfriend.”
A pillow launches from Janelle’s lap and hits me straight in the face. “Bitch! That is incredible news.”
Laughs tumble out of all of our mouths, even a small chuckle from Janelle sneaks out. “Youmayhave heard of him considering he’s one of the most famous professional golfers.”
“Is it that silver fox you ran away from at Shaken Tropes a couple months ago?” Brianna asks as she leans forward in her seat.
“It is, and he is the best thing to ever happen to me.” I smile, my eyebrows reaching my forehead as joy envelops me.
“When did the ‘boyfriend’ officially happen?” Cass questions, snatching the pillow-missile from my lap.
“It happened when I was bent over the side of his balcony,” I squeak out. Screams and squeals follow for the juicy details, and I give them just afew, sharing with them our date on the green and how he’d unknowingly kept a nightshirt I left at his place almost a decade ago.
“And he’s like,what, fifteen years older than you. Fuck, he’s hot! Ahhh I am so thrilled for you, babe.” Bri shimmies in her seat from excitement.
“Almost twelve years older. He's so sexy and funny and—” I pause realizing something. The girls wait for me to finish, not wanting to interrupt my thoughts. “And, I think…no, I know, I’m in love with him.”
Cassidy gets up, grabs the bottle of wine and tops all of our glasses off. “This is for you, babe. Cheers to finding the man of your dreams, but more than that, healing this spot in your heart for someone worthy of it.”
We clink our glasses, and my face hurts from the joy I feel. Clinton is the man of my dreams, of my unsaid prayers. The ones I’m too afraid to say out loud, so I say them silently and hope they’re heard. I can’t wait to see him next so I can tell him just how much I love him.
“There’s something I want to do, but I’m scared to do it.” We all turn to B, who sips at her wine with pink darkening her cheeks. “I know I said I was going to be an anonymous artist, but what if I wasn’t?”
Janelle pulls B’s hand into hers and squeezes it. “If there is one thing I learned from Uncle Matt’s unexpected death, it’s to do it now. Life is far too short to hold yourself back from your dreams and your wants.”
Cassidy and I both scoot forward, Cass grabbing one of her hands as I rest my palm on her knee. “Do it scared, babe, and we will be here with you every single step of the way. Everyone should know what an incredible artist you are. Be your full self, and we will be there holding up signs with your name plastered across them,” Cass says, and I nod my agreement.
Our night continues on a mellow and relaxing note, with a few moments spent in silence as the three of us focus on our best friend who’s hurting. No matter the tears, I know she will make it through this because we’ll walk with her every step of the way.
31
Lou:You see it? Their confidence is as shaky as a dodgy tee shot.
Chuck:Doubt’s got them spinning in circles—and it’s as painful as it is funny.
Lou:Every swing seems to come with a side of “what if?”
Chuck:And we’re just here for the show.
A soothing purr rumbles through the phone before Paloma whispers, “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” She must not realize, either she or Waffles has butt-dialed me.
“I swear you and your treats. I’m going to put you on a diet!” She speaks to her cat like he’s a grown man, and my shoulders shake with the silent laughter I’m holding in. “Don’t you give me that look.” There is a long pause before I hear a bag of presumably kitty snacks opening, and soft coos coming from the woman I love.
