Hungrily, I suck her bottom lip into my mouth, not giving a single fuck if I mess up her pretty red lips. I hope they smear across her face so I can see how well I devoured her for the rest of the night.
Nothing exists outside of us—her. There is only her for me. Her mouth is soft and warm, and goddamned sweet, just like she is. She sets my fucking soul on fire.
Tilting her head back, I kiss her deeper, pouring everything I can’t say into this one kiss. Every single year I waited, every moment I held myself back. Her hand rakes through my curls as she presses her lush body into me, fully straddling my lap. Thank fuck for the hills and this small secluded corner we’re in.
Breaking the kiss, not because I want to but to make sure this is real, I rest my forehead to hers as we both catch our breath. My voice is low and rough. “You don’t get to run away from me again, Paloma. Not after tonight.”
She exhales a soft, sultry breath and leans into me, pressing her lips to mine once more as a smile dances across her face. “I won’t.” Her words are soft but sure, and maybe I’m a fool, but I believe her.
Still sitting in my lap, she leans in, and I quickly meet her. We bothfall into our want as I pull the covers back over her shoulders, needing to keep her warm even as I think of all the dirty things I want to do to her—when she is fully and forever mine.
Her kisses slow, and my lips chase after hers as she pulls away. Paloma wraps her arms around my neck and nuzzles her face into my neck. We both take our time to catch our breath.
For a second, neither one of us speaks, enjoying being below the star-adorned sky, and I wonder if she realizes her freckles remind me of the constellations I would gaze at during late nights golfing at the range. The faint scent of cut grass wafts from under the blanket as we adjust, her lying down with her head in my lap.
Looking up at me, she says, “I mean it, Clinton.” She grabs my hand and places it palm down over her heart. “I’m not running.”
“Good. Because I don't intend to let you go this time.”
I watch as a smile grows, but her eyes remain serious. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know whatever it is, I want to do it with you. It feels right withyou, and I’m tired of fighting against what feels right. I just—I have to work through a few things. Okay?”
I cup her face, rubbing gently back and forth with my thumbs. “We’ll do it together, baby. As long as you’re all in, I am too.”
Pulling her face up to me, I kiss her again and rest my hand on the fullness of her belly, feeling her softness relax into my hard lines. We sit like this for a long while, enjoying the night air and a kiss that feels more like a promise of our future than anything else. A promise to try, and it’s really all I can ask from her.
To no longer running.
Not anymore.
26
Chuck:Maybe she’ll finally take their advice and call her old man.
Lou:Some ties just never unravel, do they?
Chuck:Family drama always sneaks in. Throws another twist into the game.
Lou:And makes the shot even harder to predict.
“Paloma?” Papi’s voice comes through the speaker of my phone after we both sat in silence waiting several seconds for the other one to speak. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to just hang up, and he sounded like he wasn’t sure if it was a butt dial or not. “Are you okay, mija?”
“Yeah, Dad. I’m okay. Um. Actually…” My thoughts are jumbled. I’m still so angry with him about leaving, but the only way for me to move past this, hopefully, is by talking it through. “Can we meet for lunch this week?”
“I would love that. I can come down to you on Wednesday,” he says, his voice is the same smooth baritone I remember reading me a bedtime story before tucking me in.
Having him come to Cypress Lake feels too close to home, and I don’t think I’ll be as levelheaded as I want, so I ask, “Actually, can I come to you? I can be there Wednesday, late morning?”
“I know just the place.” I can hear the smile in his voice, and I battle with my heart. How can I be so happy knowing how much hearing from me means to him but also still be so angry? “It is good to hear from you.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you Wednesday. Bye, Dad.” I end the call the moment I say the last two words. I close my eyes and inhale a deep, cleansing breath, my wet cheeks doing nothing to help me rein my control.
Being a daddy’s girl was a big deal for me. I would wait for him to get home every day, running to him and slinging my arms around his neck in a tight hug after he lifted me in the air. Papi was my whole world. And then, whatever the hell happened between my parents caused him to slowly disappear from my life all together. He was there, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t home anymore, and how he yelled, how he stopped loving my mother, I always wondered if it meant he didn’t love me too. It felt that way. It felt like he was yelling straight through her, and the words coated my psyche; his actions changed the way I saw love. Changed the way I believed in love for myself.
My parents had been so in love, at least, that's what it appeared like when I was a child. And I couldn’t understand—still can’t—how two people could be in love one day and then not the very next. If love was so easily dissolved, it wasn’t something I ever wanted for myself.
Now with Clinton back in my life, a love I thought I ruined so many years ago…If love could withstand what I did, then maybe it was more real than I was giving it credit for. Maybe. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I pull on my Shaken Tropes crew neck and a pair of jeans so I can get to my shift at the bar.
The bar has been nonstop, and my feet are killing me. With it slowing down a bit, I lean over to Cass, and say “Hey, babe, can you hold the fort down so I can take a quick break?” Not realizing she can’thear me over blending up a daiquiri, I sidle up next to her. “Hey?” Wanting to make sure I have her attention before I ask.
