Mitch shook his head and wrapped his arms tighter around her. She reached up and tunneled her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, rubbing soothing circles along the base of his skull, grounding him.
Though Mitch and his mother had changed their numbers and moved clear across the country to get away from him, his father still somehow tracked him down and called the morning after the Columbus Ice drafted him. He had prattled on and on about how proud he was that his boy was going to be a big NHL star. How he wanted to come visit, that he was clean and deserved a second chance.
“And I almost bought it,” Mitch told Lexie, running his fingers through the long, silken strands of her hair, absently wrapping a chunk around his wrist and letting it slip free. “I really should’ve known better after all the years I watched him pull the same shit with my mom. He’d go on a bender and smack us both around, disappear for a few days and come home saying he changed and he was going to be better.”
“And he wasn’t?”
“All he wanted was money, Lex,” he said, and his cheeks burned with embarrassment. “He started asking me about my signing bonus and my rookie contract. When I told him I had no idea on numbers yet and I was just happy to get a shot at making a professional career out of the game I love so much, he told me to let him know what his cut was once I figured it out.”
Lexie gasped. “Mitch…”
“When I asked him what he meant, he told me he deserved a piece of the pie after all the years he spent taking care of my ass, paying for gear and travel expenses and just a whole slew of other things.”
“What did you do?”
“I lost it. I told him the only thing he ever gave me was black eyes, and that my mother was the only parent who ever gave a fuck about me. That my mom, my sweet, kind, generous, loving mother is the only reason I’m the man I am today. And that I thank God for the one good parent I got.”
“I take it he didn’t react well.”
Mitch snorted. “Of course not. He started spewing all kinds of bullshit and finally I had enough. I told him he was dead to me and hung up the phone. That was almost fifteen years ago.”
Lexie skated her fingers down his throat and over his collarbone, settling her hand over his heart. “I’m sorry.”
He covered her hand with his, his heartbeat pounding against them both. “Don’t be. It’s over. He can’t hurt me or my mother ever again.”
“I wish you would’ve told me all this before,” she said quietly. “I don’t appreciate being lied to but…I get it.”
He buried his face in her neck and planted a kiss on the soft skin where her shoulder curved up. “I don’t deserve you.”
She pulled back to look at him, taking his face in her hands. “No,Idon’t deserveyou. My childhood was shitty. My parents were literally never around, but I was well-taken care of in terms of the fact that I never wanted for anything except love and attention. You…God, you dealt with so much. And you’re the best man I know. You came out on the other side, maybe not entirely whole, but still willing to give your heart away and allow people in. I’ve spent my whole life shoving people away.”
“Until me,” he said quietly, and as he so often did, wonderedwhy?
She nodded, swallowing audibly. “Until you. I got so tired of fighting it. And you…you never gave up on me. So truthfully, Mitch. I don’t deserve you. I don’t know how you put up with me.”
“Because I love you,” he said.
He had never said those words to a woman who wasn’t his mother before, and had never wanted to.
Once again, he was reminded of howeverythingwas different with Lexie.
But he should’ve known better, because the affection and softness on her face a moment before was replaced instantly with absolute terror.
“What? No!” Lexie jumped up and stalked away from him. “What did I tell you about pushing too much on me too soon? This is the exact opposite of that, Mitch!”
“I just figured that since you—“
“Don’t even finish that sentence. I have zero desire to know what synapses misfired in that beautiful mind of yours to make you think this was a good idea.”
“Lexie…”
She sat down hard on the opposite end of the couch and tunneled her fingers through her hair, bowing her head over her lap. “I asked you not to push this,” she said quietly, raising her head to meet his gaze, searching and pleading for an easy way out. But he couldn’t give it to her, couldn’t take back what he’d said. Couldn’t, and didn’t want to. “I’m trying, Mitch. I’m trying foryou. You have to give me some time to adjust.”
Mitch moved next to her, curling his arm around her shoulders. “Can I ask you something?”
“Technically, you just did.”
“Alexandra…”
